Wednesday, September 1, 2010


I wish I knew what my problem was...I am UGH! My birthday sucked...seriously. It was a Monday, I had to work late, I had no plans, kids still needed to be taken care of...and so on. D and M took me to lunch so that was a shining spot. Got lots of FB birthday wishes. Gift cards as gift. Ever wonder if everyone gives you gift cards because they know you love to shop or because they don't really know you?

The kids are good, fighting and whining about school (mostly N!) and throwing fits about anything. The house is a mess and money is crazy tight because assface still doesn't feel compelled to do anything. Work sucks and I haven't gone to they gym in forever.

All I want to to is cry...constantly. I am really trying not to. I stay busy at home and work. I get excited for others good news and I try very hard to count my blessings and I know they are many. It just isn't working. I keep trying to instill that positive attitude but it is eluding me...big time!

Damn, that was so whiny and it makes me glad know one else reads this is so stupid..wish I didn't really feel this way.....

Monday, August 30, 2010

Boys Weekend

This weekend was all about the boys! Friday night we just hung out at home....we had a big day planned on Saturday.

Saturday morning the boys got to go out to Sac State and participate in a baseball clinic featuring the Sac State coaching staff, team and several professional players. It was AWESOME! They had the best time. The clinic was favorite part! :) If the boys were older it would have been a little more exciting. They had scouts from six major league teams in attendance...could you imagine!?! N felt the need to tell them that he was really only know, since you had to be eight to participate in the clinic. The lady just laughed and let him play anyways. He was super nervous before it started and wasn't sure he wanted to play and I think he ended up having the best time. The players really tried to impress on the kids the importance of school and playing outside rather than video games and txt'ing. Overall - a great experience for all of us.

After the clinic we went home and relaxed a little, changed and ate dinner before we headed over to ARCO to watch the MegaTriples ASA BMX show. I got a email earlier in the week for $10 tix. This happened last year with the circus. The seats ended up being really good but I also have a friend that works part time at the arena and he ended up getting us moved to the front row floor. The kids got to high-five the riders. It was awesome! I did repeat often that they should not go home and try any of these tricks in the front yard. DO NOT DO IT! :) These kids (and men) were amazing. I paid more to park my car in the lot than I did to park my kids butt in a seat.

So basically they spent the morning touching pro baseball players and the evening touching pro-BMX riders...I wasn't sure I was going to get them to take a shower! :)

They had a great time at both and I loved watching them. We got some ice cream after the show and then home to play a little more Price Is Right.

Sunday we had pizza with my family and then went on a bike ride. Other than that it was pretty low key day. Not nearly enough cleaning or laundry happened at my house so that is a must this week.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Shut your mouth!

I have a serious problem with this. You would think based on the amount of input I provide that my life was perfect. So not the case so please tell me why I can't seem to keep my opinion to myself about anything lately. It is a fucking epidemic.

Coach and his kids, D enjoying her remodel, J & A and the meds that little A is going to be taking..anything and everything. I swear I need to tape my damn mouth closed. Thank GOD these people like me enough so far to continue to talk to me but if I don't shut up soon I am going to be giving my opinion to WallE about how to properly lick his backside...UGH!

I give in...I will still have way too much to say but I am going to try and only say it in my head for a little while. My perpetual need to get it done and "help" those I care about is kicking my ass (or more like kicking the ass of everyone else)...not fun!



Last night we went home and I made dinner and then we started homework. N had finished his and E only had reading left. He used to LOVE to read but hearing other kids his age talk about hating it he decided he did too so he didn't read at all this summer. He was pretty bummed at the beginning of school that he only tested slightly over the end of 4th grade reading level (he had been in 4th grade for 2 days at this point). I was pleased with his results but said maybe if he had read more during the summer he would have scored higher...just a thought.

So back to last night...we are sitting on my bed and I set the timer for 30 minutes. I was reading my book next to him and just as time was running out he asked what I would do when the 30 minutes was up and I said I planned on reading more..I LOVE my books. He decided the same and we read for over an hour. He really enjoyed it and said he remembers that he does love to read...let's hope he continues.

N on the other hand decided last night was a good time to be a bit crazy. "Mom, I want to adopt a baby penguin. He can live in our freezer and I will check on him ever 4 weeks." I have no idea. Later..."Maybe a shark too. He can stay in the bath tub until he gets big and then we can move to Grandpa's and he can stay in the pool." E points out that sharks bite and so we couldn't swim anymore. "Duh E, it would be a pet shark so he wouldn't bite anybody. I love Great White sharks." This kid was killing me! :)

After the entertainment of N, we went to play Price Is Right on the Wii. N won and promises to take me on his trip to Paris and I get the wine cooler but he is keeping his golf cart. Sounds like a fair deal...wonder when they deliver?

Monday, August 23, 2010


I really still can't believe the weekend is over ALREADY! UGH! GRRR!

Friday night after work I went home and hung out with the kiddos. We had pancakes for dinner and watched some stupid movie. Terribly exciting stuff!

Saturday the boys went to play golf with grandpa and my mom and I went to see Eat, Pray, Love. It was a good movie. I don't think I would have left Italy...ever! I wonder what it would be like to get to just move, leave, change your mind. Restart your whole life. Hmmm? Later I ran some errands and hung out at home mostly. Later that night we went to help Coach finish up a project at his family restaurant. It wasn't as quick as I thought. We got home late and crashed.

Sunday I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, finished my book, watched another movie, laid around the house and eventually went back to help at the restaurant some more...a lot more! The boys really liked hanging out so they didn't mind...not to mention pizza for dinner.

Today I am tired, my house is a little messy and I didn't get my laundry finished. I wish it was Friday all over again. I want to lay on my couch some more...PLEASE! The weekend didn't feel nearly as boring as it was actually really nice. :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday, Friday, Friday!

I am so glad the weekend is here! We had a pretty busy week around our house.

Monday night we spent some time with some out of towners we seriously miss. It was awesome. Tuesday I helped Coach do some manual sucked! Wednesday the boys and I went home after work/school and crashed in our jammies, ate chinese food and watched cartoons. Last night was back to school night and I got to meet the boys teachers and learn about the year ahead.

It was our first full week of school and all that comes with it. The boys have done great. E gets his homework done at the after school program and N hasn't had any yet but will do the same. They both seem to have settled in nicely. THANKFULLY!

Our weekend plans consist of N-O-T-H-I-N-G! OMG! I am so excited. We are just going to be home, be lazy, watch TV, clean up, bake, sleep, not get dressed, ride bikes, do some yard work and maybe some garage cleaning and READ, READ, READ! No birthday parties, weddings, family functions...just two days of free time.

Monday, August 16, 2010

School was a hit! The boys both love their teachers and the new school...even the after school program. Two days of school and two days off sounded like a good idea to them.

After school we went and had ice cream like usual and heard all the details of the day. N ended up with his BEST FRIEND in class. He was so brave going into class thinking he didn't know any other kids and then was surprised with his buddy. I was so happy for him. E knew lots of kids in his class and seemed pretty unconcerned about the whole new school thing.

Friday night we went to the G family's house for dinner again. I am so going to steal that baby. We had lots of wine (again), yummy food (again), hot tub party (again) and stayed up way too late. Saturday we went to their daughter's soccer game and then over to my parents house for dinner and swimming and water sliding. Got to spend some time talking with my dad and just hanging out.

Sunday was major house cleaning day...UGH! It was a task but it was much needed. Now the garage needs to be cleaned and the rest of the yard sale stuff donated to charity. I have a wish list of other things I would like to "fix" around the house. None of them are actual broken things...just the stuff I want to change. Nothing will be happening soon but it's good to have ideas ready should I come into a large influx of cash...yeah, that is so going to happen any day now!

This week is pretty low key for us. Chicago fam over tonight and back to school later in the week and that is just about it for us. Maybe some garage cleaning mid-week - oh that sounds like so much fun! I figure homework will start any day now.....even more fun!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I'm tired! Things always seem to be the same.

I am really excited for the boys to start school. I know they are excited too. New clothes, backpacks, lunch pails, shoes...the works. New school, teachers, friends.

Sometimes...I want that! Work is the same, and oh so fun! The house never seems to stay clean. I spend all weekend cleaning and then it is thrashed. My niece isn't helping in that at all. Tomorrow is the last day so I am just letting it go until then. I am frustrated to be worrying about money again. Loser isn't paying and this month child care will run me about $1,200! I have two weeks of summer care, one 3 wk month of school care and then I have to pay September at the end of August and it is a 5 wk month...YIKES! School clothes and all those extra expenses have just been taxing at the moment.

Ironically, when I think about it I really don't want much more than I have. Life is good. I love what I do, I just wish it was more like before the buyout and for more $$$. I wish I wasn't struggling with the financial aspect. Considering I have been careful with my decisions and this is a result of someone else it is hard to take sometimes. I love my babies, my friends and fam...and don't need anything else in that department. So I guess it is just less work stress and more $$$. Gosh, $$ worries..I must be the only one (whine, whine, whine) Target is just going to have to deal with the lose of revenue!

The kids are happy and I have been spending time with the BFF's a lot and with school back in our schedule should be back to normal soon. Grandma L will be here soon and I can't wait to see her and the kids.

Just a little funky lately....made some cookies...maybe that will turn it around! :)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Weekend Update....

Friday night I took my Grandma to the cemetery to visit with my Grandpa and then the boys and I ran some errands with Coach and his son. We made a quick stop at Rubio's for dinner and then I raced home because A & J decided to come over and hang out. The girlies had wanted to watch a movie I got the other day so they came to watch it with the boys and we decided to have a cocktail or two and hang out. WE HAD FUN! :) The kids watched the movie, we laughed a lot, I took the kids on a bike ride around the block a few 11:00. :) They stayed and played until after midnight.

Saturday we had lunch for my nieces birthday at Spaghetti Factory downtown...all 20 of us! It was fun. Little M showed me her cheers - OMG! so cute. We just hung out the rest of the day. I made dinner for all of us and then we decided to take the kids on a bike ride again, at a more reasonable hour. E & N both got flat tires so we walked out bikes back home. Later that night Coach and all the kids were over to hang out a bit. We chatted and just hung out.

Today we cleaned house - FUN, ran to the store - OH THE EXCITEMENT! and then went to A's parents for the girls birthday party - Ok that really was fun! I got to snuggle the baby, hang out with the besties, chat with my "other family" and I was even nice. I was polite when the need arose, had yummy cupcakes, had some champagne with the ladies and chatted with my "boyfriend" (otherwise known as J's step dad - he is adorable and so funny). The kids are watching a movie and I am sitting on the couch. E just came out and said he thought he might barf...PLEASE NO! He isn't sure why - his tummy doesn't hurt but he still thinks he might. If you are - better now than later - you start school in four days! BE WELL!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Lessons learned

Tonight after dinner the boys and I went and picked up my grandma and took her out for ice cream. It was a surprise visit so she wasn't ready to "go out" funny! Grandma we are going to small town ice cream and you look fine but no way. She had to comb her hair, change her pants and find some different shoes. The boys were playing with the dog so I sat on the couch. Something fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up. They were old cards, Easter cards, a Birthday card. They were addressed to my grandma and they were from my grandpa. I started to cry. My grandpa has been gone for over ten years and she is still reading his cards. She misses him still today. She mentioned at ice cream that she hadn't been to see him in a long time. "No one likes to go to the cemetery you know." So I promised to take her after work tomorrow. We chatted a little more while we ate our pineapple sherbet and then she mentioned really needing some groceries so we hit up the store. Once she was done the boys bagged her groceries and we helped put them away when we got home. I don't visit often enough.....

My grandparents were married in their early 20's and were married for over 50 years before my grandpa passed away. Why settle for someone you won't miss after they have been gone for 10 years. There are people I don't miss the second they are out the door. If I was ever to decide to do the whole marriage thing again it would have to be with someone that would still miss me 10 years later, someone I would miss right back. I seriously doubt that is even possible so I guess it isn't likely and that's ok. To know that someone I love had that kind of relationship is awesome.

Tomorrow when I take her to see him she will tell him little things and I will listen. The boys have never been but heard us talking so they want to come. I think they are old enough to understand what is happening and they didn't know my grandpa so they won't be "missing him" the same is if we were visiting someone they knew. I will be. I love my grandpa. He was the only one I knew growing up. He was so funny and knew every kind of plant in the yard...and I am talking HUNDREDS! He could grow a garden like no ones business. What a story teller too. I wish the boys could have known him.

She doesn't know I saw the cards and she doesn't need to. My grandpa knows she is still reading them and thinking of him after all this time and that is enough.


Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I have no idea why I stopped blogging...I guess it just didn't fit in the summer schedule. I miss it. I have continued to read all the blogs I follow.

Let's see...where to start! The boys are getting ready to start school..a new school. Our old one closed. They are excited and so am I. We have done all our shopping. Next week we will get hair cuts, find out our teachers names, have an ice cream social and then start....very exciting times!

Coach and I are still seeing each other. We spend a lot of time with our kids and that has been fun. Not sure what it all means or where it will go or where I want it to go...time will tell I guess. It is mostly fun, we laugh a lot. The kids adore each other. I adore all the kids.

Time together without kids has been few and far between. PTD became a world class loser! He no longer sees the boys and hasn't for months. He doesn't call, he doesn't pay and he doesn't return phone calls. I wish him death...I know that is terrible to say but you already broke my babies hearts you mother fucker so you may happily go straight to hell! And FUCK OFF! No nice way to say that. I HATE YOU! I basically told your mother that on the phone the other day!

We went camping over part of the 4th of July weekend, spent time in SF, went on LOTS of bike rides, went to the movies, had a yard sale, switched some things up at the house. Over all a great summer. The kids are getting too big and no longer wanting to do little kid stuff. :( Where the heck are my babies.

Maybe I will try and remember to do this more often......

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Long time coming......

Baseball is finally over and I feel like I might resemble a normal person soon....probably not!

The boys are done with school. N got straight A's and E had a couple of B's to go with his A's. AMAZING kids. We got into the school we wanted for next year. What a relief.

Summer brought a lot of other changes for us...some good and some not so much. The boys dad has disappeared. No longer paying any child support or portion of my outrageous summer day care expenses. Even leaving me with some old debit from our past provider. Hasn't called the boys or returned any of my numerous messages. E is having a hard time understanding and not being worried that I am going to leave him too. N really doesn't seem to care. Since the other place was soo expensive, my niece is watching them for the summer at a slightly discounted rate. Still way more than I can afford. It really sucks! I didn't plan on footing the bill alone while cleaning up his past expenses. It will really cut out our summer vacation plans but we will figure it out. Paying, or lack of paying, has never kept him from the boys before so I really don't understand why he is ignoring them now. Only time will tell I guess.

Doing some work around the house and yard (cheap work) and trying to have some fun. Swimming at grandpa's and getting to meet my niece for the first time and she is five! Family issues have kept my "step-brother" from bringing her around. Hopefully that has changed.

Lots of time spent with friends just hanging out!

Coach and I are still seeing each other. Kids and all! Had all the kids together for a few days during the Memorial Day holiday...including a trip to the beach. A couple of all out sleepovers...five kids deep. :) I am sure I have a lot more on that front but we will still have to wait and see. Wishing good things....PLEASE! :)

I know I have so much more to say but I just can't think of it...maybe I will catch up blog as I remember. I can't count the number of times I have gone back and read things to enjoy and remember. I don't think I have wanted to face what a nightmare the situation with loser has become and the impact it is having on our lives...financially and emotionally. I hope we all come out better for it in the end.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Almost made it!

Tomorrow is Friday and I might just make it! This week has been fine but I am still ready for the weekend.

Tuesday night was N's play and he was ADORABLE! Then E won his a kick ass game and my kid was the winning run....AWESOME! I helped dress the class in costumes and that was ummm, fun? And then we had the parent/coach fighting...that was fun!

Last night we went to the mall to get a birthday present for Coach's daughter and she ended up coming too and we had a blast. I'm guessing she really likes her gifts. Actually, I am sure she does, she did pick them out. :) We had Cinnabon and ice cream before we left and I do so love the mall.

Tonight N had a game and then I came home and set up my new laptop (WOOHOO!) and I am sitting on the couch as I type exciting! The kids are up late because I wasn't paying attention to the time and they have a field trip tomorrow that I can't go on because of a stupid work meeting that I have to attend and I don't even get to wear jeans...on a FRIDAY! WTF!?!

Tomorrow H is showing her movie...I can't wait! I know a famous movie star and I get to spend Friday night watching her shine. Ironic considering she doesn't like it when people look at her. Saturday we have a pancake breakfast, a 1st birthday party, a baseball game and a 16th birthday party...busy day anyone? Sunday is going to have to be cleaning house is NUTS! I seem to say that a lot don't I? Wonder why I can't seem to figure that out.

Coach and I had an awkward moment the other day and I had a pretty strong reaction to it. I am guessing it is because I analyze everything. He doesn't think it was a big deal...said sorry and not really thought about it since. I still seem to contemplate it...not sure why. I am certain that past history will repeat itself for me and I can't let that feeling go. Part of me doesn't want to, I figure I won't be surprised when it happens. Yeah, I totally tried that before and it sooo didn't work so I don't know why I think it will this time. So I guess that is why I am focusing on that small incident. It is what it is and I can't change me or my overactive, pessimistic, dramatic mind. He still does all these nice things and says the right things and its nice...and.....

Monday, May 10, 2010

Happy Mother's Day / Weekend

I really can't believe it is Monday! I swear it was just Friday a second ago and now here I am with FIVE whole days to wait until the weekend...UGH! And it is going to be a week!

My weekend was pretty crazy. Friday night after N's game I was a concert with my sister and niece. We met the members of a new band I love - Cavo and several of the Lifehouse peeps. This happened only because of where our seats were located (good seats!). Yelled some cursing words at these old ladies behind us that insisted people should sit down during a concert. They also felt that throwing things would be the best way of convincing you. It convinced me to call her some names, laugh at her and the proceed to NEVER sit down. Suck it mean lady!

Saturday was baseball-0-rama day. Both the kids had games and we had only a little downtime between N's early game and E's very long game. After the games we went to J's house for dinner. It was her present from the hub. (A pattern that I LOVE - her V Day gift was him babysitting so she and I could go to the movies and shopping and then her M Day gift is dinner for us!) Dinner was awesome and we had so much fun. Then dessert came and we laughed our asses off! He made a cake and wrote "Thanks for your vagina" on the cake...even made sure to write vagina in pink. He then sang a song to go with it...AWESOME! :) After dinner, cake and lots of drinks a few of us made a quick "memorial" trip to Thunder Valley. I don't gamble but it was a favorite thing for Coach's mom and since it was Mother's Day weekend we went to "celebrate" it with her in spirit. First machine he touched he won $325! A and I decided that we needed to show these peeps how to dance...we were the only ones and it was more then funny! At this point it is pretty late, I have had more than a couple adult beverages, my tummy is full and my Starbuck's did nothing...I am ready for sleepytime!

Sunday morning we met ass early for breakfast with my mom, sisters, niece and grandma. FUN! We ate and exchanged gifts and then I made Coach take me home for a nap before the boys came home. PTD actually let them buy me a card and little plant for the first time EVER! The boys made me cards at school too (my fav!). Coach had brought me flowers too. We hung out at home, had impromptu photos snapped by N and cleaned a little before heading off to my parents for an early dinner. The very best part? N fell asleep on my lap. Well, he fell asleep and I picked him up and snuggled him. I miss my little baby. He is always good for some snuggles. We went to Target on our way home and then just hung out around the house for the rest of the night. It was pretty awesome.

This morning Coach brought donuts for us before school/ was nice of him. He does a lot of nice things....sigh......

Back to reality and work.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Kid Convo...

J and I took the kids for ice cream like we do every Wednesday. Here is the conversation E & S had with the ice cream lady.

(TV on and Dr. Phil is playing)

S - I love Dr. Phil!
IL - Really? So you like bald guys do you? Ha, Ha!
E - My mom sure does! (The Coach is bald!)

Thank you E...anything else you need to share with random strangers we see on a weekly basis about your mommy? Per J, your not really good at hiding your feelings are you? As my face turned bright red...No J, I'm not so good at that! :)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Yesterday SUCKED ASS!

I was not a fan of yesterday and was more than happy for it to be OVER! Ironically, I saw several people I know post something on good old FB last night indicating the same thing...must have been in the air. The air was the one good thing about yesterday, it was so nice out. The day did not go as planned, the day sucked. I tried! I really, really tried! I ended up being sad and crabby and not at all interesting to anyone that my have wanted to talk to me after 5:00. Well, other than the BFF A. She talked to me, she always does. She always helps but things in perspective and truly believes the whole "it will all work out" philosophy. I do not subscribe to that line of thinking. I have wanted too. Instead I am a worrier. I always feel like I have to make it work...nothing is just going to "work out" you have to plan, and worry and make lists people! I know at the end of the day I really have no control over the whole thing but damn it, I will fight it until the end. (Ok, well that was all a tangent!)

Anyways, yesterday I felt like a total outsider. Like I didn't belong. It sucked. It was probably my fault, I should have known better but I didn't. I'm glad I know now and won't get blindsided by it again (I HOPE!). Your going to miss the big stuff, get over it you big baby! The specifics of what and why really don't matter and I decided I don't want to relive them here every time I read this so I am going to leave it alone and just remember it happened and will again and it's just too damn bad. I will deal with it as it comes and be happy for those that I love that love me back. My bitches got it! :)

Monday, May 3, 2010

Rest of the weekend....

Saturday night turned out to be entirely too much fun! Coach dropped me off for my dinner at N's coaches house so I didn't have to worry about driving if we decided to have some wine (LOTS of it!). So, at 4:30 I was enjoying some wine and girl talk with H and her sister (also H) and the boys were running around and their older daughter was chatting with us too. Coach ended up coming and getting her husband to take him to the races with the older kids. We ladies had much more wine before we ate, laughed A LOT, got in the spa while the little boys decided it was warm enough to swim. Oh that night was a blast! Coach came around 11:00 and picked me and the little one up and made sure we got safely home. I can't even put into words the fun we had.

Sunday J and I took the kids to the movies. I highly suggest skipping Furry Vengeance if you can. The kids looovvveedd it...J and I, not so much. We hit up the Old Navy sale...the boys were in desperate need of summer clothes and I got a few things know...several hundred dollars later..OUCH! We had some Mexican food for lunch and then agreed a nap sounded like a good idea. Too bad Coach had other plans. He called and the boys wanted to go play at the fields so I let them all ride scooters from my house to the park and he met us a few minutes later. I called the other team mom and she and her son came too. By 7:30 it was apparent that E had reached the end of the line and needed to chill out. We went home and he took a shower and ate and then passed out on the couch. N ate and then took a shower too but was less tire for some unknown reason! The rest of the night, what was left of it, was pretty quiet.

I can't believe how busy and fun the weekend was and how quickly it went! These kids are a blast. I need to clean and do laundry and figure out how to find $500ish extra dollars...somehow I don't think I will find it in the laundry like that random $5. I want to do some little projects around the house and that amount would take care of most of them. Come on money fairy...visit me, visit me! :)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Sunny Sunshine

As I type this E and The Boy are playing Wii and Coach is watching. Last night we went and grabbed In & Out and then ice cream and came back to my house. The Boy and another kid from E's team had a sleep over at our house. I had to buy each kid a different box of cereal for breakfast. They ran around outside riding their UNDERWEAR...around my neighborhood....monsters! We tried (I tried) to watch Avatar and finally around 11:30 they passed out.

We had an early game this morning and lost...suck it! After, we all went for pizza (again) and then N had a game this afternoon. A FINALLY got her toe fixed so I had the girlies with me. :) After N's game he went home with K - my "shared husband" and I came home to find the other three in the front yard. We are just hanging out now and then I am going to husbands for dinner and Coach is taking E and his boy to the races while we have our girls dinner. Tomorrow J and I are going to take the kids to a movie and possibly Target/Old Navy...WOOHOO! :)

It has been such amazing weather and things have been lots of fun. J is graduating from collage today and that is just AWESOME! I hope that she and her family are having an amazing day and getting ready for their Mexican cruise tomorrow.

Happy rest of the weekend!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Friday, Friday, Friday!

I'm tired! It's Friday...finally!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Everything has just been so crazy busy lately. Our weeks and weekends are running together. I am forgetting things, not getting stuff done, running around like a chicken with my head cut off! Our school is closing so we (the posse and I) are trying to figure out where to collectively send our kids, we have seventy hundred baseball games, homework, laundry, work!

Friday night both the boys had games at the same time again. N ended up getting hit in the face with a bat. Poor kid! He had his helmet on and was fine but he did end up with a blister like mark on his cheek and some tears. He still wanted his turn to bat! After his game was over he got to come over to E's and get lots of sympathy from EVERYONE! E's game was good, long, but no injuries. After the game, the boys went home with PTD and The Coach and I decided to go to dinner with A & N...F-U-N! That was one interesting dinner! After dinner we hung out at my house for a little while to be silly. He fit right in! :)

Saturday N had another game in the afternoon. I had to go pick them up at PDT's house since he "reminded" me at the last minute that he couldn't get them because of a "class?!?" he had in the morning. I was going to the game either way but this just meant getting up earlier and heading the opposite direction to his house first. The game was fun - I love N's coach and family...we have so much fun. After the game PTD showed up at the field and got the boys for the rest of his weekend. The Coach and I headed off to for lunch and shopping...I LOVE THE GALLERIA! I got my oil change all taken care of too. Found way too many cute shoes at DSW and had lunch at The Counter. We seemed to be gone forever. I still needed to go to Target too and off to try and find this yummy wine. No such luck on the wine. I guess I have to order it! We stopped off later at the warehouse party to hang out with the B family.

Sunday was my Grandma's 90th birthday party. We all went to lunch and ate way too much! After the party the boys and I went home to do some cleaning (the house and dog!) and hang out. They had been with "dad" since Friday night and the first thing E said when he came in was "cable!" :) They were happy to go to the restaurant but were eager to get back home too. We just hung out the rest of the night. N had to write a letter of apology to his teacher for suddenly being a terrible listener. This from a lady that adores that child!

Monday N woke up to what he called a sore throat but was really every bed in our house! I spent my Monday washing sheets, blankets and boys. He felt better later that day and showed it when he decide to woo The Coach's daughter. That boy is in LOVE and isn't afraid to admit it. He raced her boyfriend just to show her he was the better man. It doesn't matter that he is six and she is fifteen...age is just a number. :)

Yesterday was no baseball! I was able to cook dinner and after we went out for ice cream. It was a great night. No one barfed either. Not to mention The Hills started again...thank you trash TV! I explained to Coach that while he may have a fifteen year old daughter, I have the same viewing preferences as one! The Hills, The City, 16 and Pregnant, Real Housewives of OC, The Soup, The Dish, Tosh! I get my fair share of the news too but it just isn't the same!

D is leaving me today for a Mexican vacation and her daughters graduation. So proud...and jealous! WHAT am I going to do until the 11th? Seriously! The Coach and I see each other a lot during the week with baseball and have been spending a lot of the kid free time together too. YIKES! He survived me and DSW so that is saying something! Granted, we don't share a checking account so it is probably a lot easier for him to watch.

I want a Nook!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Happy Friday!

So our computers are down at work so we are all sitting here watching ourselves get farther behind..LOVELY! :)

Last night E had a game and N's team had snack bar. I scheduled myself for a different day because I knew I would be tied up with E's game. So the parents start showing up and no PTD. He confirmed that he could do it and then doesn't come, doesn't answer his phone and we never hear from him. I wish him all the luck facing N's coach should he ever show up at anything. Needless to say, he was not a happy man! I filled in while we waited for other parents and left E's other team mom to take care of it alone...JERKFACE. Our boys did great, we had some awesome plays and they were having a great time. We are all about the kids having fun, learning and being good sports so we made sure to point out some line-up issues for the other team so they weren't penalized with an out...oh, yeah we did this TWICE! The last inning is tied and it is getting dark. Our kids believed they had gotten two kids out so they were so excited at the last out and started to cheer that we ended in a tie. The other team had also started to leave the field at this point. We corrected the official that we only had two outs and the game should continue. The other team sent the runner that had been on third back out on the field to touch home plate and said "we win" thanks. And that is how our evening ended. Well, ok good luck with that! I really can't relate! Needless to say that coupled with another incident made wine a requirement last night! I thought my head might explode!

Today I get to have sushi with J & N..WOOHOO! Tonight we are going to watch The Coach play ball and let the boys spend some time at the cages...E needs some help. He walks or strikes out most of the time. Coach said he thinks his bat is too short so we will have to take a look at that too...ok whatever! I totally used GOOGLE to tell me what size bat to buy him THANKYOUVERYMUCH! Just because you are a real live person who watches him bat and may or may not have coached kids playing ball for eleventeen years...whatever! :) N is still playing t-ball or coach pitch so it's hard to tell if he needs the extra practice but it can't hurt. I think some dinner and/or ice cream is scheduled in too. :)

Tomorrow both kids have games and then we need to get started on our house. MAJOR work is needed. That place is a disaster. Then we have the fundraiser dinner for the girlies swim team so that should be fun. Nana is considering a sleep over for the little people so we will have to see.

Sunday...MORE CLEANING! And possibly some yard work...FUN!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I hate being sick!

I have been sick in one way or another for the last three weeks it seems like. First it was a cold a couple of weeks ago that never went away and then seemed to come back two-fold. It is kicking my butt...BIG TIME! I am whiny, sleepy, snotty and cough like a smoker..I am done!

Other than's been baseball and more work nonsense. Poor D is going to lose her mind. Newco SUCKS and the boys aren't doing anything to help the problem. We figured we had three more years left but now we aren't so sure. They would be screwed if she leaves...seriously! These people wouldn't know where to begin. I can't wait for her to leave on her vacation (jealous!) and get some much needed time off. I swore to guard her office so no one makes it worse while she is gone.

So things are moving right along with The Man (now referred to as Coach). I'm S-C-A-R-E-D but dealing with it and trying really hard not to run away. Tonight I dropped the boys off at Awana and came home to get started on the disaster left from E's party this weekend and he came over to fix my fence that has been broken since I moved it. Like just fixed big deal. Are you kidding me? This is what scares me. I don't want to get used to someone fixing things that are broken. Or BBQ'ing steaks while I cook the rest of dinner in the house and then actually eating adults. I have a really hard time just enjoying what is happening and being thankful for it. I should be fine knowing that if something happens I will just go back to being alone. It's not like I will forget how, I just know how hard it will be. UGH! I want to just live in the moment and be happy and not think so much about the later but it isn't who I am. It isn't what experience has taught me. Experience taught me that it will only have one possible outcome and it will suck ass! I am trying to be logical, or I guess a little less logical and just go with it. I mean he has still come over to hang out while I cough up a lung and blow my raw, red nose every 20 seconds. He met the parents and the ladies and they can be a scary bunch! :) I like him and he says that he likes me back and that he was looking for something and is/was ready for it so I guess we will just see what happens. Praying, fingers crossed, wishing on a star.....and anything else I can think of! :)

Speak of the devil...look who's here......

Monday, April 12, 2010

Crazy Weekend!

Our weekend was non-stop from start to finish! First, I was/am SICK! Stupid SUCK!

Friday night N had a game and it was nice and sunny out. After the game the boys went home with PTD and The Man and I went and got my new sunglasses! I can finally see again, thank you prescription sunglasses and HSA accounts, and Lenscrafters 1 hour service! After we met up with A & N at a new sushi place for dinner. It was really tasty! A Pinkberry just opened in our area and we decided to give it a try...line out the thank you! We hit up Coldstone instead...I am so in love with dark chocolate ice cream. We were driving from dinner to ice cream and he realized that I was almost out of gas. I generally wait for the light to come on and it usually happens at the worst time and my dad yells at me every time he discovers that I do this and yet, I continue and that is so not the point of the story. He stopped and got me gas - like got out of the car and pumped my gas! It's the little things.

Saturday E had a game and it was bitterly cold. My dad ended up leaving early it was so cold, but not before bringing me a blanket. :) The game was looonnnggg and we got killed! The kids went back home with PDT...who brought them late to the game so E had to sit the first inning and N only had a sweatshirt on! GRRRR!!! After the game I went home to clean and then we went to watch the fights at a friends was fun! I actually like watching them and my girl posse doesn't so much. The food was yummy too.

Sunday E had practice in the morning so I figured I would go to practice and then come home and decorate for his party and still have time to run and get the cake. WRONG! Practice lasted 2 1/2 hours in winds like I have never seen! It looked like a sandstorm with the dirt from the in-field. It started to rain the second we all got in our cars - like it couldn't have started an hour earlier!?! N did get to practice like he was part of the team...that kid was on cloud nine! He even got to bat like all the other kids. It was so adorable. I ended up calling my dad and asking him to go over to my house and start getting stuff ready. My mom wasn't home yet and he was watching the Masters so I got in trouble. HA! :) A & N came and helped too...thank GOD! I had less than an hour to get it all ready. When it was all said and done, we had a great time! 20 kids and lots of adults and some serious storming so we all crammed into my house. We had pizza and cake and snow cones. The snow cones were a big hit! E got lots of cool stuff too. After everyone cleared out a few of us gather the monsters and went to dinner....why not prolong the misery. :) We got home and the boys crashed and I just looked around at the disaster that is my house. I have no idea why I spent hours cleaning - I must like wasting time!

Our week is full - baseball just about every night this week so I have no idea when the cleaning is supposed to happen. Too bad I don't have a maid or a cleaning fairy.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Happy Easter!

My kids are jerks! They can't seem to function on a weekend morning unless I am up...staring at them. "We are starving, watch cartoons with us, I need to tell you a story". We are talking 6:30 Saturday morning here. Easter morning? Nope! The little brats got up and saw their baskets and decided that they should just sit down and enjoy them...WITHOUT ME! A half hour later E comes in to tell me that N did something and I can HEAR the movie that was in his basket playing in the background. They opened their baskets, got out the movie and were having a candy breakfast. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! By 7:30 in the morning they had used/played with almost everything and nothing was "picture" worthy at that point.

Friday N and I had a great time at lunch and Target...and then ice cream. :) I picked up the boys from PTD's house and we ran to the grocery store before D and the kids came to play. She and I had a wonderful dinner of wine, Twix and potato chips (UGH!) while the kids played. We had such uplifting conversations about divorce...we were FUN people! Actually, we did do our fair share of laughing and I was very glad she came over. I tried to force my opinion on her like any good friend does, right?

Saturday was baseball-o-rama! Got to the park at 8:00 for warm-ups and then E's game. We had a great game and ended it in a tie because we were running so long. My dad came to watch and hang out with N so I could be the "pitch count" mom again. Did I mention it was FREEZING again! GRRR! A grandma on the team did go get us Starbucks so that was awesome. I tried bribing the ump with hot chocolate. Not really, the poor kid was freezing too so it was mostly just a mom thing. After the game, the lovely boys on our team decided that we should have a take down match out on the lawn. Like, let's sweep her feet out from under her and then we can all dog pile on top of her and see how funny that would be. Not to be out done we may have proceeded to do this over and over for the next 45 minutes or so. No dads were jumping in the mix, just me and the other team mom against these beastly nine year olds...punks! We ran to pizza quickly and then E stayed with his coach and a couple other kids while I took N to his game. They came a little later and watched him play too...and he brought not only my child but the other monsters too so we had to call a truce so I could watch the game.

After the game was a whirlwind of egg coloring with my family and with friends. It finally ended around 11:00 on Saturday night. A, N and the kids came over around 8:30 to color them and J stopped by to borrow a dress and we decided that it was time for them to weigh in on The Man so he came to be interrogated by the posse! My impression is that he passed inspection for now...still not sure what that or any of it means but it was a necessary step. They have more of an "approval" requirement than I do with my actual family, outside of my parents of course!

Easter was great! I got to spend it with A's family again. God I miss those people! It was like falling back in time to before the whole jerkface brother thing. I love them like my own family...they are so welcoming to us. My kids get the same as everyone else. It was AWESOME! After we went to my sisters house for lunch and to celebrate my niece's birthday. My family (some) is a little judgemental, ok WAY judgemental. It drives me crazy...seriously people, enough is enough! I quit caring or reacting to it a long time ago and I think they aren't such fans of that but its ok. I love them and they get to be whatever they like and I am going to do the same.

The Man may have come over after we got home and hung out for a while. He got his ass kicked by the kids at Wii boxing. He deserved it for talking smack before they started. The kids just know at this point that we are friends. The contact with them is going to be limited...VERY limited - we don't need anymore attachment issues...ANY OF US! It was fun to hang out....and well, that freaked me out a little. Issues anyone? The plan has gone to hell in a hand basket!

Friday, April 2, 2010


The babies came home last night from spending time with the Grandparents..WOOHOO! :) N had a game and it was still freezing outside. Baseball = Summer - let's get crackin on the summer part already!

I really loved having the kiddos home last night even if we just came home from the game and hung out. I miss the constant chatter around the house when the are missing. I will admit, I missed The Man a little. We saw each other a lot the last few days with the kids being gone but that was a fluke, but a nice one. I may or may not have spilled my guts the other night about all my man/kid related issues along with my concern over his recent divorce. See why you shouldn't drink wine and talk at the same time! On a side note, I was re-reading my blog and realized that my comment about someone overhearing my crazy was him. He was the "overhearer" of that story. Well, he should have known better! :)

My boss brought me a Starbucks this morning. I've been slightly (EXTREMELY) cranky lately and so I think he is trying to buy my silence. "Here's a Starbucks. Please, just sit in your office and work; close the door if you like." Well, maybe that kind of thing works for me. A raise isn't in my future so I guess I will take what I can get. It's his fault if he comes in to my office and sits down...then my ranting is fair game buddy! G, my other boss called to talk work and then hung up and called back to ask how my mom was doing - dang the guys and their niceness! We also get to leave early today and N and I are going to go have a kid-free lunch and trip to Target. (Yes, I was just what! I also ate lunch yesterday to so suck it!) I need things at Target...NEED them!

Tomorrow our mean, evil coaches decided we should have practice before our early game. They hate sleep and all things warm and comfortable and probably puppies too! They are just mean, mean jerks! Hmm, or maybe they are just a group of really great guys that donate their time to spend with a bunch of little boys and are even willing to give up their own sleep and listen to us whine in the process. They are awesome and we have a blast harassing each other. They with never one-up me and the other team "mom" - we kick ass and give way better than we get. It pays to be sarcastic and quick on your feet! :) N's game is later that afternoon - at a NORMAL hour and then we have two egg coloring parties the rest of the day. I love being fun busy...its fun and it keeps the mind off that which we would rather not yet think about.

Bring it on weekend of Baseball/Easter/Kid having fun!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Showers...GO AWAY!

I can't believe it is April already!

E turned 9 on Monday! I can't believe my baby is half way to adulthood...UGH! I took the day off to hang out with him and after an eventful morning/afternoon, we went to John's Incredible Pizza with The Man and his boy. We didn't plan it that way but he called as we were leaving and E heard me on the phone and asked if they could they did. He played as much as the kids. :) He did agree to ride the spinner ride with them since N isn't quite tall enough to go alone and that made my tummy very happy! After we played and ate all we could, I took the boys to my parents house for cake and ice cream and the boys were spending the night with Grandma & Grandpa since they are on break and mommy is NOT!

The boys games are in full swing now. E has two this week and N has three. It was FREEZING on Tuesday. After N's game he and the parents sat in the car while they waited for E's game to be over. I didn't even have the shelter of the dugout this time around - I was in the box counting pitches...FUN! I missed all of N's game but without a certain number of parents to help the older division can't play and N has an extra game this week so I will get to focus on him Thursday night.

This week also consisted of a much needed trip to Target to prepare for the upcoming holiday and birthday present shopping. The kids were still with parents so that made it easy. J came over first for a little while so we could play catch up. We normally spend three days a week together but with baseball/softball we hadn't seen each other ALL week! WITHDRAWLS. I filled her in on The Man story. What of the story I understand anyways...(sigh....) and then she went home to hang out with her hub since S is off gallivanting this week too! I figured it would be a good test so I made him go to Target with me. You really don't know a girl until you understand her total devotion to all things Target! If he had whined or rushed or just missed the whole point I probably would have ended it right in the middle of aisle 13! :) We went to dinner after shopping and a group of girls were in the restaurant for a bachelorette party and we laughed and both agreed we wanted to pull that soon-to-be-bride aside and explain to her why she should sell the dress and get the hell out of there FAST! We didn't, of course! I am so not a marriage hater but sometimes you can't help but laugh right?

Tonight is N's game and then both have them on Saturday at different times so I can watch them both..WOOHOO! Friday night D and the kiddos are coming over some play/wine time. Play for them wine for us! Saturday night will be some egg coloring with A and the fam and then off for Easter fun on Sunday. I have lots of house cleaning to do in between...wonder how that is going to go?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

We survived!

Oh this weekend was crazy...but so amazing! :)

Friday night we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get both boys floats finished for the parade the next day. It was pretty late in the evening when we finished but it was fun and the boys were so excited for the next day. We went to bed a little late but they were up and ready to go first thing in the morning.

Saturday we were out of the house by 7:15 to drop N off with his team and then get E and I over to his. I had to ride in the float with E's team and we (the "big kids") had as much, if not more fun than the little kids. N's float ended up winning the best for his group and he got a medal. E's didn't but that's ok - he has won twice before. We then went directly to the fields for opening ceremonies...wrapped those up and then a bunch of us from E's team went out for pizza before we had to get back for our games. Both boys had to be back at the field at the same time so it worked out.

The games were good! N got to be catcher and he looked adorable buried in all that gear. E was part of a triple play and was so excited. E's team lost and some people were just stupid but our team didn't seem to care.

The weather was amazing! Everything wrapped up around 6 - about two hours later than we thought and the boys went home to spend the night with PTD. I went out on a real live date...with a man. An actual date that was not with A, N, D or J. We had a great time. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he loved sushi - he just doesn't seem to be the type..guess I was wrong. So we went to a sushi restaurant I had never been to and it was really good. Yummy food and wine and nice conversation...that's all I am going to say about that. :) I'm still, if not more, freaked out about the whole thing. A told me to get the hell out of my own head and just get on with it already. I'm an over thinker...WAY over and she knows it. She kindly, in her very special way, dismissed all my "problems" as lame. :) MK kinda did the same thing on the phone Friday when she and I talked. Who knows...I guess we will just see what happens....YIKES!

Tomorrow my baby is 9! This day was way more relaxing than my day 9 years ago! :) We had baseball pictures, trip to Target and Petsmart and lunch with me and the boys. No labor pains in site. I am off tomorrow so we can spend the day together and then have dinner at my parents. I love you E!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Confusion at its best!

I'm not even sure I want to write this one down. Do I want it as part of my "whine-less" history? Or is it something that I will later look back on and wonder why I ever put it out into the world let alone outside of my own head? I guess that is why they have the delete button? I sometimes wish life had a delete button. It would make decision so much easier if you could delete and try again.

I met someone...I think? Honestly, I am freaking out. I am so trying to play it cool, like it doesn't matter either way. Whatever happens is fine...right? He is such a nice guy but his decision to divorce is recent. I remember that haze that consumed me for so long after my marriage catastrophe, I couldn't figure out what to eat or how to function without crying, making any good decision was out of the question. I'm still not sure how we survived as well as we did (man, that all feels like such a lifetime ago). How could he be ready at this stage of the game? I'm the rebound girl right? And since I keep telling myself that over and over then I should be ok with it being reality right? None of our kids are involved and we both agreed that it will remain that way; I am steadfast on that issue! This came as a total, out-of-the-blue shock to me (and I think it was for him too - I am pretty certain he wasn't set out on a plan). Nothing I ever saw coming and nothing I am prepared to handle. I had convinced myself that I would be solo until after the kids were all grown up and out of the house. The funny thing is, that could still totally be the case. This whole thing is VERY new and yet it totally confused my plan...what if? What if it was to be something more? His reasons for divorce are way different than mine so maybe that makes it different? Or maybe because he is a guy he processes the whole thing faster than I did? Or maybe it is exactly like me and this really is just a get me through this moment "relationship"? Mostly my problem is why I even consider the possibility that it is something more than a simple fling and why, if I am totally convinced that I will be alone for the next 10 years, do I suddenly let myself even consider the possibilities, let it matter...even considering wanting it? I should take it for what it is and leave the rest alone. Why do I have to consider the possibilities? Or want possibilities? Or think there are possibilities? WHY, WHY, WHY!

Circumstances allow us to see each other often without repercussions or issues and so we have spent a lot of time together recently and it is nice. I have an adult to talk to, one who gets the single parent thing, one who seems genuinely interested in listening to me whine about whatever, someone that doesn't care that my go to place is sarcasm - LOTS of it! I miss that. And even just a that is nice! And when it is gone again will I have trouble readjusting or will I be able to just brush it off and go on like nothing changed? I have done it this long alone so it will be easy to go right back too it? Is it even worth the risk or easier to just leave it alone and go back to being happy with my kids, friends, family, shopping and wine? My fight or flight instinct is telling me that flight is the best option but part of me REALLY doesn't want to do that. So now what? I seem to have lost my how-to manual, and apparently my convictions as well! It's that last part that irritates me...damn it! I am stronger than this whole "feeling" business. I don't have grown-up feelings any more. I have work feelings, friend feelings and mom feelings...that was supposed to be it! I thought I rid myself of girl feelings or at least buried them so deep they would take about 10 year to surface. I want to make it all go away and then I really so don't!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

All sorts of random! I got lost...

Lost in the sea of baseball practice! :) Things have been so crazy for us lately. We have been living at the fields five to six times a week for practice and the last week we added in float building to really send me over the edge! Two floats, two schedules, a new after school program for the kids, way too much actual work...I need a vacation/nap/dark place to hide!

The kids are having a great time. They were selected to participate in a new program at school - MESA it seems like a great opportunity for them. They both totally love baseball and have great coaches. Opening day is this weekend so we have a parade, opening ceremonies and both boys have games...not to mention the eleventeen other family and friends that all play that also have games the same day.

In between all this fun, we have had some real fun. A & N and J & I (we girl date each other when her husband lets us) went to see Alice In Wonderland for N's birthday..FUN! Went out for drinks (too many) one night and had a BLAST! N's birthday bash was at our house this weekend and we had a great time. Some of the kids spent the night with me and the other luckies (A, the birthday girl and J) skipped out and left me with the kids...and I call these girls my friends! :) E had an early morning practice on Sunday so I took all five of them to the donut shop for breakfast and we brought enough for the whole team..those dang boys took down 3 dozen donuts! The gym has been cut for the list until this float/6 day a week practice schedule slows down...hopefully next week (see donuts, party and lots of drinks). PLEASE!

We all got sick but survived. I painted my office finally and LOVE it! After painting a wall with 10 different colors I finally just made a damn decision and painted the room and the cabinet our computer/mail/junk/office supplies resides in. I painted it with chalkboard paint so now we can write messages to each other or reminders. The kids thought it was great. Got my backyard furnished just in time for the party...thankfully.

Both the boys got awesome report cards! Our house looks like it may have been ransacked by a gang of thieves...unfortunately, they aren't taking anything, just leaving a bigger mess each day. I am hoping Sunday we can get that mess under control. Although, I am really planning on making it to team pictures and then right back to my bed after this week. I want my PJ's and my weeks of Tivo, maybe some wine and chocolate to go with it? :)

Friday, March 5, 2010


OMG, I can't do it today. I can't focus, my brain is broken. I knew this would happen. My "distraction" at work isn't here today so I just knew I would come in and get all sorts of work done and I'm not getting ANY...FUCK!! The damn A/C is on...are you kidding me! I have on a t-shirt, sweater and G's sweatshirt and I am still going to DIE! It wasn't this cold sitting outside on the concrete slab waiting for E's practice to end. WTF? Is my frostbite going to be good for a WC claim?

Tonight N has his first practice and then we plan on getting dinner and watching Where the Wild Things Are and tomorrow they both have it and then we are off to my parents for dinner and play time and a possible kid sleepover (crossing fingers and praying!). Sunday might be a trip to John's Incredible Pizza because I love's my fav! Or maybe it's because N won a certificate at school and he just can't wait! Last night at E's practice I made a joke with a guy that lived next door to the married us knew PTD is a loser. Someone whom I don't know very well heard me and now probably thinks I am crazy...I guess my secret is out! Oh well, maybe he will feel sorry for E since he has a crazy mother and give him the position he wants. Aren't I a great mom? I use my crazy to benefit my kid...lovely! :) Good thing N's coach and wife are friends and already know my brand of crazy. Thank you!

I am feeling lots of ?!##?$#$ today. I have no focus, no direction, a GIGANTIC need to play, to shop to make a mess, to get a pedicure, to have wine and chocolate and some hot man! I want to watch movies and dance and scream and sing badly (the only way I can!) and run around. I want to be silly and obnoxious (I already have that part down!). I want to people watch and laugh. Generally this kind of behavior (minus the hot man) requires that I hang out with A, N, D and/or J - they get it! I should say the get it and then we make inside jokes for the rest of our lives and then we make fun of each other FOREVER after. And sometimes it also involve vodka! :) Yeah, I need me some of that girl time ASAP and then maybe the hot random stranger can come over and take charge and then leave - no need to stick around buddy (HA!). Ok, yes that so sounds like a plan - how do I make that happen?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Rain, Rain Go Away...Wait!

Ok, I am so over this rain but it did get us out of baseball practice and allowed us one night at home. We had Mickey Mouse pancakes for dinner, sang along to a million music videos, played war (N cheated AGAIN!), played go fish, the boys swam around in my bath tub, I had wine (YIPPEE!) and we snuggled in my bed with WallE before bed. It was so awesome! I snuck in some laundry and dishes but nothing bigger than that. I didn't work, I only talked on the phone with my was like a dream (wow, I am lame!).

Too bad the night is over and it is still raining!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010 scheduled nightmare!

Monday - Gym
Tuesday - Baseball practice for the E
Wednesday - Gym for me, Awana for the little people
Thursday - Baseball practice for E...again
Friday - Baseball practice for N
Saturday - 7:45 practice for E and 2:00 practice for N (Sure, I don't need my Saturday!)

Let's figure out when to schedule in my M-F job, homework, laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, sleeping, school functions, parade float building, and not to mention 7 birthday parties including my own kid. That would be seven in just one month! Thinking about it all is making me nervous. I can live without the sleeping but the rest of it really isn't optional. The boys both ended up on great teams this year so that is going to be awesome. The problem is they are on different teams, different age groups but some of the games will overlap and I have to figure out how to be at both at the same time. Last year I could sit in between the two fields and watch them simultaneously. This year I can't do that - no good! We don't even have the game schedule yet but I feel like I need to get some plan in place..pronto! I spent Sunday afternoon shopping and packing my car for the season - Lots of Gatorade, sunflower seeds, sunblock, chairs, bug spray, kid gear, my practice glove...YIKES! My plan does not, in any way, shape or form, count on PTD to assist. He doesn't typically feel that being regularly involved is required. Once we get into the swing of things I am sure it will be fine but I am a panicking a little. I have to be able to have some time to work from home - I can't get my job done in the 8+ hours I am at work, I have an actual house to take care of instead of our little apartment and WallE is not a fan of being home alone at night. E isn't sure what he wants to do for his birthday this year and Easter is right around the corner too.

If I survive this with two happy kids, still employed, with a house that hasn't burned to the ground and a runaway dog, come June, I am going to take a day off! Sit around my house in my PJ's and drink wine all day. Lots of wine, chocolate and cheese! All day...alone! (I would prefer this be on a tropical island with a nice, hot native but I will settle for the above instead.) I need a nap just thinking about it. No time in the schedule for a nap...I'll add that to the list of things to do in June. :)

Sunday, February 28, 2010

And it isn't over yet...

Weekends like this make it so easy to be happy! :) Friday night D and I went out for our typical Margarita Madness. It was anything but typical. She's had a rough week so we laughed extra, gossiped extra and a few other things that will remain nameless to protect the innocent (not that I actually know anyone that is innocent that can read this!).

Saturday morning A, N and I decided to go to Target. OMG! Target is like a second home for me but nothing beats Target Fashion 2010! We had been in Target over an hour and had yet to get one thing we needed. We decided a fashion show of the worst kind was in order. I LOVE Target clothes..a large portion of my wardrobe, as well as the boys, comes from Target. Yesterday was not about those kinds of know the ones I am talking about. Pictures were taken, laughs were had and should The Lion King ever die, I found the perfect dress to wear to his funeral. Then we decided to take a break and have a snack and then we shopped. People, we were in Target for 3 hours! N and I almost had an accident in the aisle...thank goodness the bathroom was close and she didn't feel anymore compelled to stop our mad dash to talk to loser and his hoe...(well, that wasn't very nice...). A had to go too but since she is related to him she did have to stop and talk. Ironically, neither of them felt compelled to chat with me? I just can't imagine why? Damn the bad luck! The fun was then re-instated in the day and we hit Ulta, Barnes & Noble (YEAH! NEW BOOKS), Best Buy (FOUND MY MOVIES!), Bevmo (LOVE YOU 5 cent sale!) and Raley's. I happened to forgot everything I needed to buy..HA! We had some yum Chinese food, relaxed in the parents hot tub and then came back to my house for some Mario Bros, vodka, bad TV and lots and lots of laughs. We harassed J's poor husband via phone, cursed at the stupid game, re-named people on Bad Girls Club..OMG, ever realize the person that irritates you most on TV is someone you actually know in real life..ha! We made some cryptic and inebriated Facebook postings, watched SNL and crashed. Um, I think I wish to marry Seth Meyers? That guy is so funny and I find him to be HOT!

Today my dad is coming over to hang out with me and the boys for a little while and then we need to go get the things we actually needed yesterday and since the sun is shining so nicely in the sky maybe WallE needs a walk around the block and perhaps we should wash our dirt car...wonder if it will fall apart when we do? Hurry up and bring my babies home so we can get this party started!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Kiddo Weekend

I spent the entire weekend with my babies...we never left each other...not for a moment. :)

Friday night I picked them up from PTD, right in the middle of some conflict. Loser decided to buy his way out of N's anger and promptly left E as a second thought. Well, that so wasn't ok! So, I made the situation even and E seemed to realize it for the first time. He said "Thanks mom!" We hit up Target on our way home and then just hung out around the house...together!

Saturday we cleaned, worked on the science project, gave WallE a bath and ran some errands. Then we got to head over to A's house for some baby snuggles! Oh baby L is sooo cute! His pudgy little face, and he is so animated for being only a few days old. Still, I don't wish to have my own. I wish (all the time) to borrow the babies of others and love them, squish them, snuggle them and then happily return them to their rightful owners. I think if it hadn't been such a surprise that I would be raising the boys alone maybe I would feel differently. There were times in the beginning when they were both so small that I was terrified I couldn't do it. I remember one week when they were both so very ill. N was almost 3 and E wasn't yet 5. They were so very sick - like missed FIVE days of work sick. They both had multiple trips to the doctor and several prescriptions and if we needed anything, even just more juice I had to drag them both out to the store and it sucked! We never slept and I was scared. My babies were burning with fevers, crying and overall sad and I had no one to hold them so I could go to the bathroom or get one of them something. I think I don't want to do that again. We survived and thrived but still.... ANYWAYS...detouring back to the good stuff! That baby is dang cute. Made me want to go still baby L and baby N and have a big baby fest! :) We came home and did some more hanging out together.

This morning they woke me up at 6:30! Children...what is wrong with you? Didn't we buy donuts at the store so you wouldn't need me to make breakfast before the sun comes up? Oh well, we got crackin on the rest of the house work, including cleaning the toy room - YUCK! Washed all the sheets and blankets and then made some dinner. E is finishing up some stuff for his science project and then they both need some serious scrubbing and bed!

I love my kid weekends. :)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Gym and some Friday Fun!

I am so glad it is FRIDAY! :)

Last night J and I hit the gym as usual except...we had a plan! :) Typically we do 50 minutes of various cardio, a little stretching, some abs and then we punk out. Last night we wrangled the help of Old Friend for some cheap (free) personal training. Poor guy; we are such girls! I hate being in the manly-man section of the gym. The jerkfaces typically don't venture far into chick infested cardio land so we are safe...until last night. We infiltrated the entire man section of that gym. We got dirty looks, grunts and the once over...more than once. I figure no one actually said anything to us since we had "one of them" with us. We kicked ass! Ok, well for us we did. :) While I totally appreciated the much needed and required assistance, if he helpfully re-instructed me on my improper form one more time last night I think I might have been very tempted to throw the weight at his head. I totally get that bad form can get you hurt and means you have to work harder to get the same result if you just did it right but damn you, it was our first time and I hate having to look in the mirror and the fact that two other people are just standing around STARING at you while you do it did not help! Nor did it make me not do the same thing to J when it was her turn. :) Good thing I don't whine overly much right...HA!

ANYWAY, we got our new moves down (2 hours later!) and figured our new workout. We will cut our cardio down - 10 on the bike to warm up, 10 minutes to stretch, 30 - 40 minutes to work our "area of the day", 30 minutes on the I-WISH-YOU-WOULD-DIE elliptical machine and then abs. The good news - we will be healthy in no time...the bad news? Baseball/Softball starts in a week so we are screwed. Workouts, as well as life in general, goes to hell. Hopefully, I will still get in two days a week (not sure how since I spend 4 at the field) but I will figure something out. I am really excited about the new plan. I am a little concerned that my arms don't hurt today. I figure I will wake up tomorrow and my arms will have just fallen off like SpongeBob...I guess then I won't have to worry about arm day at the gym?

Tonight the boys and I are just hanging out at home..probably grab some dinner and maybe watch a movie or something? Tomorrow S comes over to spend the afternoon with us and work on the science fair project. No idea what Saturday evening might (or might not) bring. Sunday should be relaxation...PLEASE! :)

MONDAY MY PARENTS COME HOME! WOOHOO, Who takes an eight week vacation people? I don't care about your retirement status...get your asses home! I need a hug and some dinner!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Today has not been a good day. :(

While I was getting ready this morning I got a txt message. The only person willing to txt me that early in the morning is D and it is typically a plea for Starbucks..a plea I am always willing to answer. Today it D but it was not for Starbucks. She was letting me know her beloved Mother passed away. :( D always talks about her mom. You always knew they were close and I know she was also very close with her grandchildren J & M and they all loved her very much. D's mom recently celebrated her 90th birthday. D and her family had planned a HUGE surprise party for her mom. We laughed that it shouldn't be a surprise because who should yell at a 90 year old woman! D came back from the trip with great stories and you could tell she loved getting to see her mom with the entire family. I am sorry for her and for the kids. I am grateful that M was able to fly out with her today so she wasn't alone. I am sad that J has to fly from school alone and I hope that she is ok. I know that D will miss her mom terribly but I also know that she always seems to have the most amazing faith of anyone I know...well, maybe only second to her daughter J. :) I will miss her until she comes back and work to make her laugh her ass off when she does. I also hope she knows that she is an awesome daughter, friend and mother!

Today my sister and everyone she works with lost their jobs. We knew it was a possibility but it had been delayed so many times we thought a miracle might be in the works. No such luck. My boss pulled me out of my marathon meeting this morning to give me a heads up before I saw her (we work for different but connected companies and in the same office suite). We took a quick 10 minute break and I went over to check on her. She is holding her own for now, but how scary in this market to be without a prospect. Luckily, she is VERY good at what she does and has a great reputation in the industry.

I was in a meeting from 8:30 this morning until 3:30 today with a quick break and a chance to run out for something to eat and then right back in the frigid conference room. While my work piled up and I listened to everyone complain...over and over again, all I could think of was that I got to talk to my parents last night and I know they are on their way home soon and that with the amount of work on my desk my boss can't fire me for at least eleventeen million years. I hugged and cried with D before she left and checked on my sister a couple of times but other than that, I am helpless to change anything for any of them.

Tonight I will spend some time with my BFF's just hanging out while the kids are at Awana and then I will go back and get them and snuggle them to pieces for the rest of the night. I love you all - A, N, J, D (and J) and even my sister who does not read this.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Monday, February 15, 2010

I love you long weekend! :)

I can't believe these three glorious days off are already over! Friday night we went and watched the Skrewed show On the Y...great show! This was my second time seeing the band and they were awesome. We didn't hang around for the other bands and that was totally ok.

Oh Saturday...I still can't believe it! I NEVER got dressed, or showered, or productive in any fashion. I watched TV, ate a little and then proceeded to spend my afternoon watching movies. Doubt - good, Made of Honor - over cheese, Couple's Retreat - cute, Obsessed - decent! I went to bed early and loved every second of it!

Sunday was busy. Nana came and brought the boys and I a little Valentine treat, I finally did my yard work, J and N brought me the BEST present ever...OH, THANK YOU! That night the boys and I took my grandma out to dinner. After, we just hung out at home. Happy Valentine's Day!

Today N watched the boys while J and I went to see Dear John...oh, that movie made me cry. J secretly laughed at me. :) Even after I bought her popcorn! We ran to Target and then home to check out the damage. N had mentioned ONCE something about a donut party and my lovely children never, N took them out to donuts. He bought them a whole box. E told me that he thought N was the funnest guy EVER! Even if he didn't let him play an M game on the x-box. Good job N! Apparently, they weren't too bad. :) We decided that we should all go to dinner later so we did. I came home first and cleaned house - we seriously needed some mopping and vacuuming around this place. Then we met the B's for dinner. N ate something gross and tried to convince us to try it...NO THANKS! :) The boys and I came home to hang out and finish some laundry...oh what fun!

I really wish I didn't have to go to work. The kids have all week off...lucky little ducks!

Sunday, February 14, 2010


Someone saw my leg tattoo for the first time yesterday and asked me, skeptically, if I really liked it? Why did you get it? How old were you? It was almost like they thought of it like some kind of mistake, a defect, a sign of my crazy perhaps?

First and foremost, I LOVE IT! I will always love! It might be silly to consider a tattoo as having "meaning". It isn't a name, it isn't a love...its a ME! A went with me a many number of years ago to get it. It took several hours of having my ass slightly exposed to this creepy guy that wouldn't go away. My artists did a good job of keeping me blocked and eventually told the guy to go away. It HURT! I was emerging from devastation, I was learning to be me, moving on, moving up, changing, struggling, coping...I could go on and on about the emotions of that time. Some of them still challenge me. My dragon leg (that's what A and I called it) was my kick-ass symbol. My "no matter what you will keep moving" and the next time someone gets in your way you can kick them with your dragon leg! It reminds me to be fierce, to not back down, to not give in to the fight. This sounds very melodramatic, even to me, but it is what it is.

I wasn't a young kid when I got it, I wasn't drunk. I didn't walk in and pick it out of a catalog. I searched for just the right one. I decided I wanted it to be dramatic and all black...nothing frilly and girly about it. Sometimes I forget it is there and I will catch it in the mirror when I am getting ready in the morning and I remember what is it.

Thankfully it isn't for anyone else. No one has to love it, understand it, want to look at it. Good thing too because again, it was almost like I was suddenly deformed. Suck it! That dragon and me are in it for life. When I am 85 and he and I are a wrinkly mess I will still remember what its for. Some people may not need a reminder but I like to have one. One that is just that will never constant reminder to kick ass and to hell with the names!

Well....that was Valentine's Day worthy! :)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Bribe? Chocolate?

My boss brought me a salted caramel chocolate cake today from Freeport Bakery. I shared, I didn't want to. I was DELICIOUS! Here is a picture of the before. The after is going home with me tonight to be enjoyed by the little people and I...after the gym of course!

I have no idea why he brought me the cake? He brought D a strawberry thing (mine was better!). I think it was a bribe of some kind...what for I am not sure. I wanted to ask but I thought it might change the way the cake tasted so instead I am pretending it was just because. :)

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

I am so looking forward to this long holiday weekend. We aren't going anywhere or doing anything and that is the best part of the plan! :)

This week has been pretty quick. Monday night we just hung out at home and tried to recover from this weekend. N got us an Amelia Bedeila book from the library because he knows his mommy loves those books. He is such a doll. We read the book by the fire and he got bored pretty early on. His favorite part? One of the other characters in the book was Dr. Dinglebat and he thought that was AWESOME!

Tuesday I took the boys out to get new baseball cleats and Valentine's Day cards for school. Sports Authority always has a good selection of kid cleats and they both found pairs they liked (different, of course) and they were both on sale..WOOHOO! However, even on sale they were $60+ for both...some sale. I picked up a shoe that was $100 and little Mr. E said "Mom, you are not going to buy a shoe that costs $100...that's crazy!" Excuse me? What just happened? No, I wasn't going to buy the shoe but dang it 8 year-old, I would if I wanted too and in every dang color. I almost made him get cheap $10 girl soccer cleats for that comment. We strolled around Target and picked out cards and a few other items and then went to good old McDonald's for dinner.

Wednesday the boys had Awana so I hung out at home and started to watch a movie with Old Friend. It was NOT a funny movie, even if the title said it would be. J picked me up around 7:30ish and we went to get the kiddos. The ice cream place was closed and the kids had gotten cupcakes so we just left it at that. Until I got home and decided it would be a good time to make cookies. It was, and they were good. :)

Thursday is gym night...yippeee, whatever! Tomorrow is glorious, wonderful, magical Friday! Other than watching J's husbands band play Friday night I have no plans. Nothing, Nada. Sleep, lots of sleep and perhaps some much needed house cleaning.

Monday, February 8, 2010

I need a nap....

This weekend was start to finish crazy! I had to come to work to rest. :)

Friday night the monkeys spent the night at A's house and I went to dinner with Old Friend. We had to wait for our table so randomly wandered around Barnes and Noble for a while. He looks at weird boy stuff and was way too happy about a car magazine! :) Oh well, to each their long as I don't have to read it.

Saturday morning we raced around to get ready for a family kid picture that happened very last minute (or at least last minute for our house). Then it was home to hunt for birth certificates and then off to spend $200 at little league sign ups for the boys. Ran into lots of people I haven't seen in a while. Hung out and had pizza with the friends, babies and kids and then we ran over to the grocery store for some serious junk food shopping. E's friend T was spending the night with us and came home straight from sign ups with us and then A & H came over later that evening and they all stayed the night. They ate and played and acted a fool until 2:00 in the morning and then at 8:00 decided they were going to STARVE if I didn't get up and make breakfast. People, you just went to sleep, how can you be up and hungry already! They were, so I did. :) T went home around 12:30ish and A & N came over to hang out and watch the big game (only the hate football and so they pretended). A made me some of her most wonderful potato salad. J and S came over a little while later so the kids could get crackin on the science fair project. They felt their board needed some design features to go with the scientific information so my house is now officially glittered!

Its funny, I lived with six children from 3:00 Saturday until 7:00 last night and the glitter is the smallest mess in the house. My house is THRASHED! Like we should just move thrashed. :) Nana D randomly stopped by for the first time last night and got to tour my house in a total natural disaster sort of way. WallE and his sensitive tummy ate spilled Cheese It's, sour cream and onion chips, pancakes and a large amount of onion dip...GOOD TIMES!

No one wanted to get up this morning, I have no idea when my house will ever recover, I need to sleep for a week and I can't believe it isn't Friday yet! Oh, long week here we come!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Weekend Update

My weekend was great! Lots of friends, drinks and a whole host of other stuff but mostly just
F-U-N! But I am tired and don't want to be more specific. :)

Friday, January 29, 2010

Oh I have longed for you this week...

This has been one of the longest weeks ever! It started with my lack of sleep weekend and turned into a barfing 8 year old by Monday night. He was off and on sick until Wednesday night. Poor baby, poor me, poor washing machine! All is better now with the exception of a little more laundry!

Last night we made it to the gym finally and I took out me weeks worth of aggression in an hour and a half. I felt much better when I was finished. I sometimes forget how helpful that can really be. I told J that I was tired of whining ALL THE TIME about work, home, kids, life...blah, blah, blah. Like any of it is really that bad. It seems like it to me but I totally get that I am just being a big baby! Most of my current frustrations are work related but that is no earth shattering news. It has been and will continue to be work for a long suck it up and quit whining already! Yesterday I had the most random meeting with a guy from NY. I still have no idea why he came or why he couldn't seem to stay awake? We also had some sad news from our NY office. I don't understand the logic some people use - or I guess maybe they don't actually use logic?

Tonight is Margarita night with D and her daughter. (I am working on throwing in a trip to The Rack after...D is saying no but I bet money I can convince her daughter...easily! :) After that who knows! Saturday I really hope involves some serious sleeping in before errand running and a 1st birthday party for my nephew and a kick-ass party for J's husband! Oh how I have been looking forward to this party. Lots of us girls are going to be there and we plan to over indulge a bit (well, I know I do!) so a possible cab company phone number might be needed. As long as the rain stays away I might actual get some yard work done on Sunday...maybe!?!

Can I say that I adore Pandora radio! On my BlackBerry and on my office computer. It is so much better than most of the available radio stations.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Better late than never?

My weekend wasn't complete until this afternoon so I wanted to wait before I got it all out. Yes, I still had to work today but that is nothing special.

Friday night the boys and I did come home and have dinner and do laundry but then we decided Target and some Big Spoon should be added to the nights festivities so we did. :) That was about it too.

Saturday was sleep-in day. Or it was going to be. I woke up at 7:00 to an eight year old sitting on my head explaining to me that it was indeed 7:00 and he might starve to death. I convinced him, or rather the dog did, that we should spend some time in bed first. He lounged with me for about a half hour and then was done with that nonsense. :) Up we got, N got up soon after and our day got underway. I cleaned and they played...typical! Later that night they went to spend the night with A and had way lots of fun! I went out with Old Friend to dinner and a movie. We had some tasty sushi, a quick trip to Starbucks and then off to see Avatar in 3D at the IMAX theater. The movie was much more than I expected and I really loved it. I am glad our seats were in the back...too close would have been bad. The movie was LATE! It was going to start at 10:30 (still way late) but we didn't even get into the theater until after 10:30. One of the best parts of the evening? Watching the crazy girls hitting the clubs wearing NOTHING! Are you kidding me? It was freezing and these were skinny bitches! I had jeans, boots, a sweater and jacket complete with scarf and I was still cold...I have some substantial insulation people! These hoecakes forgot pants for crying out loud. Well, clearly I have been doing it wrong - if that is what it takes I am waving the white flag...NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! :) We hit Taco Bell on the way home - hello cinnamon twists (wonder where all that insulation comes from?)! At that point it was almost 3:00 in the morning. He left and I checked my messages. BAD NEWS! I waited to make sure he got home ok and then tried to sleep - at this point it is almost 4:00 in the morning and I now had to be up a 6:00.

My new six-week old nephew was going to have surgery. He had a tummy issue and they needed to fix it ASAP. That would be Sunday morning by 8:00. I wanted to snuggle him before hand and be there for my sister and her family so I got up two hours later and threw on some clothes, brushed my teeth and my hair (sort of) and was out the door. It was a tough day all around, even if I had slept. I txt'd A to make sure the boys were good for the morning and she ended up keeping them most of the day so I could take a short nap after the hospital (THANK YOU!). Baby N came out of surgery like a champ! I stayed until he was fully awake and had a bottle before I left around 2:00 that afternoon. I came home slept for a couple hours and then the babies came home. We hung out the rest of the evening while I waited for confirmation that they had released the baby and all was well. Instead I got a call that he was throwing up again and they were staying. Hence the delay. This afternoon he was released and all is fine..WOOHOO, Thank GOD!

Sadly, I am so ready for it to be Friday already.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Nothing to see here....

I have nothing real to add, I just don't want to look at my work rant anymore. It's Friday and I get my babies soon. They went to school today looking silly. It was mis-match day and those kids go all out! Tonight is hanging out at home and maybe doing some laundry. Doesn't that just sound like a Friday night to end all Friday nights. Hopefully the rest of the weekend will be more entertaining. If not, Sunday will still have games on! :)

My sister did have to leave work early today because her granddaughter, my baby niece M (whom I LOVE to pieces) shoved something up her nose and got sick. I think she barfed because she freaked out (and so did her mom) because they couldn't get it out. She is fine now and had to go get it sucked out of her nose. What was it you ask? Pieces of her diaper. HA! And people wonder why I don't feel the need to have more kids. I would still take that one in a heart beat. She rocks my world.


Monday, January 18, 2010

Work, work, work!

I wanted to savor my weekend post for days to come but I can't seem to let this day go so maybe getting it out of my head will help me stop replaying the whole thing over and over and over again!

So we have been working on this new division at work for a LONG TIME! Originally the plan was to hire some one to do it. That plan changed to me and one of the big three working on it together. I knew this would be tough since my original job is more than enough for me but I have experience in the new area and thought it would be pretty short term. Plus,the boss man was going to cover the out of office stuff so I could be in most of the time. We played this back and forth for several months. Newco continues to believe that the new division is my sole job even if I have stressed several times that is not. I thought me and the boss man(s) were on the same page. Wake up call! I feel like I got hung out to dry today. :( Not only does Newco think I was avoiding my responsibilities as it relates to this new division (including the MAIN MAN!) but it was officially assigned to me today...THE ENTIRE THING!

I try very hard to do a good job, I may not always succeed but I am sincere. My original position has suffered greatly with even the partial addition of the new job and I can't even begin to understand what will happen next. It is clear after today that both organizations believe that both positions are to be handled by me. I can feel the panic of failure as I type this. I will try so very hard but I know, at the end of the day,both jobs will suffer and I will ultimately not reach the goals that have been set for me. It will be a direct reflection on ME!

With the continued increased cost of living and the sporadic payments of PDT I have seriously considered a part-time job for the weekends that the boys are with their dad. I have been looking for some type of call center job in the same field I currently work. Most are 24-hour so I should be able to work most of the weekend while they are gone. Now, I will need to work even more extra time at my current job to hold off being fired as long as possible. The problem? I have a salary position so no over time pay is provided and I am not getting any change in my current pay for this second job. I am freaking out! I not only have no back up plan, no cushy savings account and no second income from a spouse but I will likely be FIRED from both divisions at the same time! From what I know about Newco I have a few months....and then I am done (Ironically, I am pretty sure my replacements will be hired in the next few weeks under a different umbrella for now.)! My outgoing expenses will not change so what to do? Well, on the way home tonight I cried...OVER A JOB! Are you kidding me...who does that? It was less about the job and more about the consequences I am about to face. I have two babies that count on me and only me. Loser rented out their room this weekend and got rid of what little toys they had. They now have a couch and some things in the living room. I find that totally unacceptable and planned to come down hard on loser should he ever return my call...looks like I might be joining him instead.

Hmmm, getting it out really didn't help...just made it more real! I am so not above "would you like fries with that?" I know the rumor is God will not give you more than you can handle but God didn't throw this at employer did and I don't think they subscribe to the same philosophy.

Well that was perfectly whine-o-rific...Yeah, me!

Weekend Update (A day late!)

I had an awesome weekend!

Friday night D and I went for margaritas after had been far too long. We say a lot of things in the office but some things are just better said over a basket of chips and salsa and a yummy, salty drink. After that I went home and hung out with WallE before an old friend stopped by. I haven't seen him in over a year and the last time I did he was in the hospital after a terrible car accident. He is all better now and we spent a couple of hours catching up.

Saturday morning J and I went to Target, lunch, Home Depot, pedicures, cop chasing (HA! Such a bad idea but we had to know what was going on!) and then to visit her husband for a second. I got a black sparkly polish and she did a sparkly pink..then she says "Look, I am Glenda the good witch and you are the wicked witch of the west!" Hmmm, and I am friends with this girl...what am I thinking. And this after she bossed me around with the cart at Home Depot. :) I went home and cleaned the house a little and painted my wall with four different colors...I still can't decide which one to use yet? Then the gang came over for some cocktails. A & J came (always) and with them A's step son and her cousin who is home from college. I haven't seen him in a long time so it was nice to harass him for a while. Old friend came back over too with another guy. We (I) had lots of wine, made a random early morning trip to Taco Bell (I did not drive) and stayed up until 3:30 in the morning...WHAT! :)

Sunday we rolled out of bed at 8:00 - I have NO IDEA WHY? A & J and the cousin and son stayed the night so we crashed all over the house. I made us frappes with the new toy...YUM and then everyone left around 10:00. The babies came home at 11:00 with some fresh loser news...FUN! After we headed to A's for a party with some other friends, took the boys for hair cuts, ran an errand for my now out of town father and then came home to make dinner so DC and the kids could come over and we could catch up. Baby L fell asleep and I got to snuggle him on the couch cute! Then they headed off to home and I crawled into my snuggly soft bed with WallE and crashed around 10:00. I love you bed!

While I loved all the activities of the favorite part? Having so many awesome friends. I love them all dearly and have so much fun. We laugh a lot, make fun of each other, have the most inappropriate conversations EVER! At the end of the day, I know I could call any of them with my troubles and they would be there at a moments notice. I would do the same for them...not even a second thought! I was missing a few of my favorite people this weekend but it was still extraordinary fun doing ordinary things. :)

WORK SUCKS today and I hate PTD for being an idiot but since my weekend was so lovely I am not going to ruin my good memories with talk of that...maybe tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The incident....

Today was not the best day ever. I had a million meetings and hours of unproductively, my bank account showed up with a mysterious charge. (NOTE TO SELF - never pay for a magazine subscription using your bank account VISA card! When said subscription is up in MONTHS the magazine may help you remember you love them and want to renew by surprising you and taking care of that bill before they even bother to send it to nice!)

My last meeting ran extra long so I was late for the gym. I am guessing because it was so cold outside they decided it should be a sweltering sauna in the gym. Like I don't sweat enough at the gym...I thought I might MELT! After J and her daughter came over for dinner and cupcakes made by E & N the night before and we had fun. Both of the boys cried due to horrible injury that lasted only long enough to make sure the other person was not going to be severely punished and moved on.

We took them home and I thought would get ready for bed and have a chance to dive back into my new book. WRONG! Instead, we had "the incident". Because I do not ever intend to embarrass my children I will be intentionally vague. I can't imagine I will ever come back to read this post and not recall what happened. One of the boys had an issue with his "privacy" as the boys love to call it. First I panicked for the blink of an eye and then I went to work on the issue. All seems to be back in order and on the mend but OMG! May I PLEASE never have to deal with that again. UGH! I really don't see this as one of those single parent issues...I am pretty sure as the mom I would have been the one to take care of it...even with a million dad's around. This was strictly a parent of boys issue. The outcome appears to be fine and that is all that matters. I wish it was margarita time instead of dishes time but that will have to wait for another day. I love my children and know that I will do anything for them. That includes things like tonight as well as things like dragging our 160 pound "puppy" to school so E can have him for "show and tell". Yes, I contacted the teacher first and explained what kind of dog we are talking about..MUCH to my surprise he said sure. I guess that is what I get. :) Guess tomorrow is going to be bath day for stinky. I can hardly wait!