Friday, January 29, 2010

Oh I have longed for you this week...

This has been one of the longest weeks ever! It started with my lack of sleep weekend and turned into a barfing 8 year old by Monday night. He was off and on sick until Wednesday night. Poor baby, poor me, poor washing machine! All is better now with the exception of a little more laundry!

Last night we made it to the gym finally and I took out me weeks worth of aggression in an hour and a half. I felt much better when I was finished. I sometimes forget how helpful that can really be. I told J that I was tired of whining ALL THE TIME about work, home, kids, life...blah, blah, blah. Like any of it is really that bad. It seems like it to me but I totally get that I am just being a big baby! Most of my current frustrations are work related but that is no earth shattering news. It has been and will continue to be work for a long suck it up and quit whining already! Yesterday I had the most random meeting with a guy from NY. I still have no idea why he came or why he couldn't seem to stay awake? We also had some sad news from our NY office. I don't understand the logic some people use - or I guess maybe they don't actually use logic?

Tonight is Margarita night with D and her daughter. (I am working on throwing in a trip to The Rack after...D is saying no but I bet money I can convince her daughter...easily! :) After that who knows! Saturday I really hope involves some serious sleeping in before errand running and a 1st birthday party for my nephew and a kick-ass party for J's husband! Oh how I have been looking forward to this party. Lots of us girls are going to be there and we plan to over indulge a bit (well, I know I do!) so a possible cab company phone number might be needed. As long as the rain stays away I might actual get some yard work done on Sunday...maybe!?!

Can I say that I adore Pandora radio! On my BlackBerry and on my office computer. It is so much better than most of the available radio stations.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Better late than never?

My weekend wasn't complete until this afternoon so I wanted to wait before I got it all out. Yes, I still had to work today but that is nothing special.

Friday night the boys and I did come home and have dinner and do laundry but then we decided Target and some Big Spoon should be added to the nights festivities so we did. :) That was about it too.

Saturday was sleep-in day. Or it was going to be. I woke up at 7:00 to an eight year old sitting on my head explaining to me that it was indeed 7:00 and he might starve to death. I convinced him, or rather the dog did, that we should spend some time in bed first. He lounged with me for about a half hour and then was done with that nonsense. :) Up we got, N got up soon after and our day got underway. I cleaned and they played...typical! Later that night they went to spend the night with A and had way lots of fun! I went out with Old Friend to dinner and a movie. We had some tasty sushi, a quick trip to Starbucks and then off to see Avatar in 3D at the IMAX theater. The movie was much more than I expected and I really loved it. I am glad our seats were in the back...too close would have been bad. The movie was LATE! It was going to start at 10:30 (still way late) but we didn't even get into the theater until after 10:30. One of the best parts of the evening? Watching the crazy girls hitting the clubs wearing NOTHING! Are you kidding me? It was freezing and these were skinny bitches! I had jeans, boots, a sweater and jacket complete with scarf and I was still cold...I have some substantial insulation people! These hoecakes forgot pants for crying out loud. Well, clearly I have been doing it wrong - if that is what it takes I am waving the white flag...NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! :) We hit Taco Bell on the way home - hello cinnamon twists (wonder where all that insulation comes from?)! At that point it was almost 3:00 in the morning. He left and I checked my messages. BAD NEWS! I waited to make sure he got home ok and then tried to sleep - at this point it is almost 4:00 in the morning and I now had to be up a 6:00.

My new six-week old nephew was going to have surgery. He had a tummy issue and they needed to fix it ASAP. That would be Sunday morning by 8:00. I wanted to snuggle him before hand and be there for my sister and her family so I got up two hours later and threw on some clothes, brushed my teeth and my hair (sort of) and was out the door. It was a tough day all around, even if I had slept. I txt'd A to make sure the boys were good for the morning and she ended up keeping them most of the day so I could take a short nap after the hospital (THANK YOU!). Baby N came out of surgery like a champ! I stayed until he was fully awake and had a bottle before I left around 2:00 that afternoon. I came home slept for a couple hours and then the babies came home. We hung out the rest of the evening while I waited for confirmation that they had released the baby and all was well. Instead I got a call that he was throwing up again and they were staying. Hence the delay. This afternoon he was released and all is fine..WOOHOO, Thank GOD!

Sadly, I am so ready for it to be Friday already.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Nothing to see here....

I have nothing real to add, I just don't want to look at my work rant anymore. It's Friday and I get my babies soon. They went to school today looking silly. It was mis-match day and those kids go all out! Tonight is hanging out at home and maybe doing some laundry. Doesn't that just sound like a Friday night to end all Friday nights. Hopefully the rest of the weekend will be more entertaining. If not, Sunday will still have games on! :)

My sister did have to leave work early today because her granddaughter, my baby niece M (whom I LOVE to pieces) shoved something up her nose and got sick. I think she barfed because she freaked out (and so did her mom) because they couldn't get it out. She is fine now and had to go get it sucked out of her nose. What was it you ask? Pieces of her diaper. HA! And people wonder why I don't feel the need to have more kids. I would still take that one in a heart beat. She rocks my world.


Monday, January 18, 2010

Work, work, work!

I wanted to savor my weekend post for days to come but I can't seem to let this day go so maybe getting it out of my head will help me stop replaying the whole thing over and over and over again!

So we have been working on this new division at work for a LONG TIME! Originally the plan was to hire some one to do it. That plan changed to me and one of the big three working on it together. I knew this would be tough since my original job is more than enough for me but I have experience in the new area and thought it would be pretty short term. Plus,the boss man was going to cover the out of office stuff so I could be in most of the time. We played this back and forth for several months. Newco continues to believe that the new division is my sole job even if I have stressed several times that is not. I thought me and the boss man(s) were on the same page. Wake up call! I feel like I got hung out to dry today. :( Not only does Newco think I was avoiding my responsibilities as it relates to this new division (including the MAIN MAN!) but it was officially assigned to me today...THE ENTIRE THING!

I try very hard to do a good job, I may not always succeed but I am sincere. My original position has suffered greatly with even the partial addition of the new job and I can't even begin to understand what will happen next. It is clear after today that both organizations believe that both positions are to be handled by me. I can feel the panic of failure as I type this. I will try so very hard but I know, at the end of the day,both jobs will suffer and I will ultimately not reach the goals that have been set for me. It will be a direct reflection on ME!

With the continued increased cost of living and the sporadic payments of PDT I have seriously considered a part-time job for the weekends that the boys are with their dad. I have been looking for some type of call center job in the same field I currently work. Most are 24-hour so I should be able to work most of the weekend while they are gone. Now, I will need to work even more extra time at my current job to hold off being fired as long as possible. The problem? I have a salary position so no over time pay is provided and I am not getting any change in my current pay for this second job. I am freaking out! I not only have no back up plan, no cushy savings account and no second income from a spouse but I will likely be FIRED from both divisions at the same time! From what I know about Newco I have a few months....and then I am done (Ironically, I am pretty sure my replacements will be hired in the next few weeks under a different umbrella for now.)! My outgoing expenses will not change so what to do? Well, on the way home tonight I cried...OVER A JOB! Are you kidding me...who does that? It was less about the job and more about the consequences I am about to face. I have two babies that count on me and only me. Loser rented out their room this weekend and got rid of what little toys they had. They now have a couch and some things in the living room. I find that totally unacceptable and planned to come down hard on loser should he ever return my call...looks like I might be joining him instead.

Hmmm, getting it out really didn't help...just made it more real! I am so not above "would you like fries with that?" I know the rumor is God will not give you more than you can handle but God didn't throw this at employer did and I don't think they subscribe to the same philosophy.

Well that was perfectly whine-o-rific...Yeah, me!

Weekend Update (A day late!)

I had an awesome weekend!

Friday night D and I went for margaritas after had been far too long. We say a lot of things in the office but some things are just better said over a basket of chips and salsa and a yummy, salty drink. After that I went home and hung out with WallE before an old friend stopped by. I haven't seen him in over a year and the last time I did he was in the hospital after a terrible car accident. He is all better now and we spent a couple of hours catching up.

Saturday morning J and I went to Target, lunch, Home Depot, pedicures, cop chasing (HA! Such a bad idea but we had to know what was going on!) and then to visit her husband for a second. I got a black sparkly polish and she did a sparkly pink..then she says "Look, I am Glenda the good witch and you are the wicked witch of the west!" Hmmm, and I am friends with this girl...what am I thinking. And this after she bossed me around with the cart at Home Depot. :) I went home and cleaned the house a little and painted my wall with four different colors...I still can't decide which one to use yet? Then the gang came over for some cocktails. A & J came (always) and with them A's step son and her cousin who is home from college. I haven't seen him in a long time so it was nice to harass him for a while. Old friend came back over too with another guy. We (I) had lots of wine, made a random early morning trip to Taco Bell (I did not drive) and stayed up until 3:30 in the morning...WHAT! :)

Sunday we rolled out of bed at 8:00 - I have NO IDEA WHY? A & J and the cousin and son stayed the night so we crashed all over the house. I made us frappes with the new toy...YUM and then everyone left around 10:00. The babies came home at 11:00 with some fresh loser news...FUN! After we headed to A's for a party with some other friends, took the boys for hair cuts, ran an errand for my now out of town father and then came home to make dinner so DC and the kids could come over and we could catch up. Baby L fell asleep and I got to snuggle him on the couch cute! Then they headed off to home and I crawled into my snuggly soft bed with WallE and crashed around 10:00. I love you bed!

While I loved all the activities of the favorite part? Having so many awesome friends. I love them all dearly and have so much fun. We laugh a lot, make fun of each other, have the most inappropriate conversations EVER! At the end of the day, I know I could call any of them with my troubles and they would be there at a moments notice. I would do the same for them...not even a second thought! I was missing a few of my favorite people this weekend but it was still extraordinary fun doing ordinary things. :)

WORK SUCKS today and I hate PTD for being an idiot but since my weekend was so lovely I am not going to ruin my good memories with talk of that...maybe tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The incident....

Today was not the best day ever. I had a million meetings and hours of unproductively, my bank account showed up with a mysterious charge. (NOTE TO SELF - never pay for a magazine subscription using your bank account VISA card! When said subscription is up in MONTHS the magazine may help you remember you love them and want to renew by surprising you and taking care of that bill before they even bother to send it to nice!)

My last meeting ran extra long so I was late for the gym. I am guessing because it was so cold outside they decided it should be a sweltering sauna in the gym. Like I don't sweat enough at the gym...I thought I might MELT! After J and her daughter came over for dinner and cupcakes made by E & N the night before and we had fun. Both of the boys cried due to horrible injury that lasted only long enough to make sure the other person was not going to be severely punished and moved on.

We took them home and I thought would get ready for bed and have a chance to dive back into my new book. WRONG! Instead, we had "the incident". Because I do not ever intend to embarrass my children I will be intentionally vague. I can't imagine I will ever come back to read this post and not recall what happened. One of the boys had an issue with his "privacy" as the boys love to call it. First I panicked for the blink of an eye and then I went to work on the issue. All seems to be back in order and on the mend but OMG! May I PLEASE never have to deal with that again. UGH! I really don't see this as one of those single parent issues...I am pretty sure as the mom I would have been the one to take care of it...even with a million dad's around. This was strictly a parent of boys issue. The outcome appears to be fine and that is all that matters. I wish it was margarita time instead of dishes time but that will have to wait for another day. I love my children and know that I will do anything for them. That includes things like tonight as well as things like dragging our 160 pound "puppy" to school so E can have him for "show and tell". Yes, I contacted the teacher first and explained what kind of dog we are talking about..MUCH to my surprise he said sure. I guess that is what I get. :) Guess tomorrow is going to be bath day for stinky. I can hardly wait!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Two down...

Well, the second weekend of the new year is now over too. Man these weekends go by fast! Friday was fun, as I mentioned. Saturday we went grocery shopping...hungry! Bad plan...I can't believe how much I spent...YIKES! It was my own fault, I should have had a snack or something first but our Saturday was jam packed. We shopped, ran home and put the perishables away and then went to my sisters for my nephew's birthday. We fought over the baby, ate and then I went outside with all the kids to play. Little M & Z needed supervision and I qualified for the afternoon. We stayed later than I planned, ran home to change and gather up some things for the next party. That party was fun! It was J's belated B-day party. We hung out and ate..lots. Had some drinks, laughs and inappropriate moments...Thank you Birthday Girl! ;) We stayed late and came home and crashed.

Today was cleaning day...a little hard to get all excited about. I put a roast in the crock pot in the morning so it was ready at dinner time. My closet decided it no longer had a will to live and collapsed. What to do? I called my dad to see what measurements I should use when I go to Home Depot and if I needed more brackets or something to make sure it doesn't happen again. He said he would just come over tomorrow and take care of it while I am at work. I LOVE HIM! And, he is leaving me alone for over a month...does he know the damage I could do? Yes, he does. So I am keeping him in the dark about my painting plans. I am sure my job would not meet the standards so I'll keep that gem to myself until he is happily in AZ. :) I did buy myself a non-necessity present. It was not kid required, it was not house was just me required. It is the new coffee maker by Mr. Coffee. I used it tonight and it was AWESOME! I can't wait to try again tomorrow.

I guess I should go figure out what to wear tomorrow and then stack the rest of my clothes on the couch or something...UGH! No fun. :(

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Friday Fun!

Yesterday was work...yeah, whatever. After work, I picked up my babies and we ran a couple errands and grabbed some dinner. Then we went over and picked up the girlies for a sleep over. A & J were going out on the town...hoecakes! :) The plan was a trip to B&N for new books for all the kids and a quick run to Target for a present. A told them to be good or she would beat them tomorrow. Randomly, for the first time ever, H believed her? and started to cry. It was a little funny considering none of our children have ever been beaten and I tend to let them act like crazy people at my house. :) They play and destroy and I clean it up. So, we ran to Target first and they were excellent except poor H kept falling down...for no reason. Then we walked over to the bookstore. Each kid got to pick one book. A had some authors we tried to find and then asked the assistant. Apparently, they were out of all books...for both! WHAT? Never mind, she decided to see if she could find another author she liked. We asked the lady to direct us to a similar section and she was "not in the kid" books so couldn't help...ummm, ok. She did say that those authors were part of the teen section so we headed that way. NO WAY! Since when does teen translate to slutty relationship books. So teen girls only want to read about getting a boyfriend? No thanks. Fortunately, she agreed so we went over to the 7-12 section. H had found a series of Tinkerbell books and was trying to decide between a couple. E had found something and N was all over the place. He is an excellent reader but he doesn't enjoy it. A and I found a couple different authors she was interested in so we all hung out in the kid section checking out the possibilities. This is where the "I am a sucker." comes into play. Everyone had two books they were trying to decide between. So...they all got two and I spent almost $100..WHAT, how did that happen? :) H's books were buy 2 get one free so she got to get a third. We went over to Starbucks for hot chocolates for the drive home. Did I forget to mention the 100 trips to the bathroom?

We came home and made a massive bed in the living room using the boys mattresses and just hung out. Games were played, books were read, TV was watched. N fell asleep in my room around 11 and the other kids in the living room around midnight. They weren't going to bed yet so no one had pj's on and no teeth brushing had occurred. As a matter of fact, A had jeans on and H was eating Cheetos. :) They all got up just before 8 this morning for Mickey shaped pancakes and to watch the new movie we bought - Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. It's pretty cute. :)

My house is thrashed! I would love to say from the kids but that would be a big fat lie! I have a mountain of laundry, I need to mop, sweep, dust....blah, blah, blah! We also need to go grocery shopping, mom I am going to STARVE to death bad. Too bad I spent our grocery money on books (and I didn't even get one!) :) We have my nephew's party and then off to J's house for dinner and game night. Tomorrow is going to have to be a buckle down day for us. CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN and some serious yard work!

These baby monsters are screaming for smoothies now...I better hurry, I am totally out numbered and WallE will not save me!

WAIT, and OMG! My mother found FB last networking world beware!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I want a puppy!

Ok, not really. I would love to rescue every dog and kid I find. Today my mom was talking about going to the county to pick up new tags for Bella and going in to look at the animals. She cried, I would have too. Then after Awana we went over and saw T & J's puppy - her name is Stella and she is ADORABLE! I also happen to love their other dog, Dozer. Then we have WallE whom I adore an lets not forget my constant desire to steal Sammie. :) If only....

This week has been pretty low key for us. Monday night I picked up the boys from my parents and had dinner with them. I listened to all the fun they had while I was at work. Lucky, lucky bunch. Tuesday the boys and I came home and had dinner and then played some Wii and some Scene It...mucho fun! Tonight was a meeting about possibly closing our school and the kids had Awana. I picked up the kids after work and dropped them off and then picked up J for the meeting. We stopped to grab a quick bite to eat and I happened to run into the girl that my then BF cheated on me with. That part would have been tough enough but when you add that she pretended to be my friend so I wouldn't find out...well, that is just a little much for me. I guess she didn't seem to be bothered by it since she felt ok saying hi to me outside the restaurant. Um...seriously? I had some words ready to roll out of my mouth and yet I held them in and just walked on by. I'd love to say it was because I am a bigger person but that so isn't the truth and I am all about the truth. Kids were present and that just would have been wrong. Either way it really doesn't matter so onward and upward my friends! We ate and then hit up the meeting - not so good, I think our school is toast. Joked with A & J while we listened and then the other J and I had to leave to get the kids. Our normal ice cream place was closed so we just took the kids to McDonald's for their treat. Randomly J's hubby showed up and my children proceeded to act a fool. Something about him does that for them...especially the young one. I'm sure J just thinks I make it up and they always act that way...and sometimes they do, but it seems to increase ten fold for him. They think he is really cool so I think they like to show off.

Tomorrow is back to the gym for us and work and a whole host of other things. Right now the kids are ready for bed and I am doing some laundry. EXCITEMENT! :)

I finished my first of 50 books thanks to a challenge on A's blog and need to pick out book #2. Book #1 was something I ordered a LOONNGG time ago and never read. It turned out to be a really good book. Made me reconsider some things. Hmmm...!?! I think the next one will be a frivolous romance novel to offset it. :) The weekend is around the corner and I am excited. Friday is house work and grocery shopping, Saturday afternoon is my nephew's birthday and Saturday night is J's "party". She is supper old now so I don't know that party is the right word. Well, she says super old but she is a year younger than me so whatever! :) She tends to say the nicest things and the right times (you know, when I whine!) so I guess we can be friends. I say that like I'm not getting the better end of this deal...ha!

Interesting, the "incident" tonight was pretty anticlimactic for me. I didn't cry or get emotional. It totally irritated me that she doesn't seem to grasp the impact of her actions but as I said earlier, my reaction to these situations is all that matters now. For the most part, I didn't react so WOOHOO me! :) I'm not a pretender or good at faking it (or even trying) so I just didn't. While I would like others to feel shame (for total lack of a better word) for their actions most don't. If it had been me, I would have. "Hi" would not have been my words. I like that about me. I am glad to have a conscious, a knowledge of right and wrong, a grasp on how people should be treated. I got no shame in my game! :) I don't have to be embarrassed or nervous to face anyone in life. No, so not perfect, not even close. I make mistakes...regularly. BUT, I own them when I do. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong (Hello, Dr. Houseman from Dirty Dancing). I can't let others negative opinions of me impact me. Believe me, I am sure the list of people who think I suck far out numbers the list of people who don't. So to make my life easier, I only hang out with the short list! :)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

One down...

Well, our first weekend of 2010 is coming to a close. It was originally scheduled as a kid-free weekend but pleasantly ended up as a kid-full weekend. Why? Because the "sperm donor" that fathered my children is the World's Biggest Asshole! My apologies...but it is was it is people! After our "issue" on Friday morning. By issue I mean him being a jerkface and me letting him know that over the phone, he decided to "punish" me by not returning his oldest child's phone call. BRILLIANT PLAN SIR..SIMPLY BRILLIANT! Why? Because it meant I didn't have to see you, I got to run around with my two favorite little people in the entire world and sadly, they were also excited by the change in plan. YOU SUCK! It is now 9:30 on Sunday night and he never called.

Friday we lounged the day away. Watching movies and eating chips in mommy's bed with WallE. It was pretty darn awesome! We made smoothies at home, ate less than nutritious foods and snuggled.

Saturday we ran some errands in the morning. E was in charge of cart pushing at Target and decided it would be a great time to be funny! As in yell across the store that N was riding the cart because I wasn't taking care of him and his eyes might fall out...then he laughed... A LOT! I laughed too...maybe the other people in the store not so much? E swears he heard on a show that you can have analvalumia (I have no idea). When you aren't cared for properly...your eyeballs fall out! Umm, ok! After we got back from shopping A & J came over to hang out. J still looks rough from her NYE disagreement with WallE. We watched TV, lounged, ate and laughed. After N fell asleep EARLY watching a movie and E and I hung out on the couch and watched TV. Do you change the channel when that terrible SPCA commercial comes on? I DO! E didn't and started to bawl his little eyes out! We talked about how sad it was and that being the reason we rescued our dog. We decided he should become a millionaire and can adopt all kinds of dogs and I will be his helper. After, he and I decided he should just sleep with me and WallE.

Today we got up and played Battleship and then went over to my parents for lunch and the Steeler game. We WON! WOOHOO! I hope the Dolphin's second string QB is ok...he took a bad hit. My man did too and his poor arm hurts. SUCK IT WARD! He played in serious pain and threw some nice passes. LOVE HIM! :) After, the boys stayed with my parents for an unplanned sleepover. I came home and napped with WallE and then did lots of stuff around the house. Oh wait, I did nothing around the house. My bad! :)

Tomorrow is work and then back out to my parents to get the boys and have dinner. YUM! My parents leave soon for a looonnnggg time. BLAH! So happy for them but I will miss them. What will I do without my dad? Suck it up girl...that's what! They will be back in March.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I Am....

Selfish, honest, judgemental, lonely, loyal, chubby, silly, sarcastic, begrudging, friendly, open, trusting, loving, angry, rescuing, loud, obnoxious, uncoordinated, chatty, clean, messy, analytical, hungry, short, motherly, hurt, energetic, emotional, strong, graying, weak, happy, nerdy, unforgiving, unmoving, steadfast, unprepared, strategic, bored, girly, willing, adventurous, outspoken, listener, planner, coordinator, scared, tired, squishy, motivated, bitchy, working, needy, wanting, believing, giving, struggling, striving, undeterred, questioning, searching, gossipy, grateful, caring, studious....

Good, the bad and the ugly. I am all of these things. Some more than others, some I wish not at all. So many more I wish I was.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

Wow, good bye 2009! What was the year like? I bought a house for me and my two sons. We added a new member of our family, WallE the wonder dog. I traveled a lot for business and can honestly say that I spent some quality time with friends, new and old. The boys graduated from one grade and moved to the next. We all had holidays and birthday. I have a new nephew to cuddle. I guess a total recap isn't needed since I can just go back and read about the last year post by post. I tried to enjoy the little things more this last year. Margarita's with D, gym with J, hanging out (as always) with A & N. Developed new friendships that I think with go the distance. Remembered what I like to do with my time. Struggled to remember why I decided to be single until the boys are raised. Recommitted to that being the very best idea I have had. Struggled to do it alone. It's hard sometimes and overwhelming and I really don't feel like I have a right to whine or beg for help. I am a suck it up and move on kind of girl. That's the only way I know. I'm thankful that God has allowed me to be able to do it alone. I don't know what the alternative is? I was employed for the entire year!

We sent 2009 out with a bang (on pots and pans to be specific). We had a party of five at my house last night. We had the best food and drinks and company. We ate and drank and danced on the table. We sent FB messages to people standing in the room. We LAUGHED! We shared. Then we ate and drank some more. At midnight we watched the ball drop and then we screamed, yelled, howled at the blue moon. It was awesome! We called the kids at their around-the-corner sleepover at Nana and Papa's house.

Resolutions? None of us spoke of any. I don't think most, or all of us, even had any. I'd like to be a better person. I'd like to be a better friend and parent. I'd love to say I want to figure it all out but that so isn't going to happen or maybe that I could have complete control over my emotions ALL THE TIME! I wish I could control the actions of others, but instead I need to learn to better control my reaction. I can't make you have a conscious, do the right thing, care about the right thing, care period. Why do people feel like their actions are just selfish? Don't you know your actions impact everyone around you? Why does it have to be all about you? BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR IMPACT!

This morning we welcomed the new year by laying on the couch and chatting before we bundled up and went out to get our babies. What would a day of hope and promise be without some drama from PDT? I jokingly said that my resolution was to be the bitch he deserved me to be for the last five years. I accommodate his ever changing scheduled, his unwillingness to pay, his unacceptable behavior. I do this for my children; to make sure they have a relationship with their dad. Well, fuck you buddy! It's time for you to work on that same relationship! He owes me money! He asked me to "cover" the kids tomorrow so he could work. So today he loses his mind on the phone and decides it is totally ok to yell at me, tell me over and over that I am wrong. I took the phone away from my ear and yelled right back! He was to get the boys this morning at 9 - I knew that wasn't going to happen so I didn't rush over to bring them home. Jerkface calls me around 11 to tell me that I drove right past him and shook my head at him and what the fuck was my problem. First, your ass was LATE. Second, I did not see your ever changing car nor did I shake my head at you. I was tired, hungover and having a conversation with the two other people in the car. And why are we having this conversation and hour after I left my house? If I drove right past you why didn't you honk? Or call right away? Or follow me AROUND THE CORNER! So I end up looking like a crazy lady right in the middle of A's parents kitchen screaming into my phone. SO, I just hang up. I wait 20 minutes and let E call him to schedule the pick up. Guess what? No return call, no pick up. HE HAS NOT SEEN THEM! It's time to be a grown up sparky!

I still have high hopes for 2010! I am going to continue to spend my time with people I love and not so much with those I don't. I will be accountable for me and my actions. I will read more, I will try and be more consistent with the gym. I will keep trying to rid myself of the divorce debt. I will enjoy my home, my dog, my kids, my Starbucks, wine, chocolate, Diet Pepsi, concerts, books, blogs, margaritas. I will continue to try and love all aspects of my life and uncover the reasons why it is mine and what the good plan just might be.