I wanted to savor my weekend post for days to come but I can't seem to let this day go so maybe getting it out of my head will help me stop replaying the whole thing over and over and over again!
So we have been working on this new division at work for a LONG TIME! Originally the plan was to hire some one to do it. That plan changed to me and one of the big three working on it together. I knew this would be tough since my original job is more than enough for me but I have experience in the new area and thought it would be pretty short term. Plus,the boss man was going to cover the out of office stuff so I could be in most of the time. We played this back and forth for several months. Newco continues to believe that the new division is my sole job even if I have stressed several times that is not. I thought me and the boss man(s) were on the same page. Wake up call! I feel like I got hung out to dry today. :( Not only does Newco think I was avoiding my responsibilities as it relates to this new division (including the MAIN MAN!) but it was officially assigned to me today...THE ENTIRE THING!
I try very hard to do a good job, I may not always succeed but I am sincere. My original position has suffered greatly with even the partial addition of the new job and I can't even begin to understand what will happen next. It is clear after today that both organizations believe that both positions are to be handled by me. I can feel the panic of failure as I type this. I will try so very hard but I know, at the end of the day,both jobs will suffer and I will ultimately not reach the goals that have been set for me. It will be a direct reflection on ME!
With the continued increased cost of living and the sporadic payments of PDT I have seriously considered a part-time job for the weekends that the boys are with their dad. I have been looking for some type of call center job in the same field I currently work. Most are 24-hour so I should be able to work most of the weekend while they are gone. Now, I will need to work even more extra time at my current job to hold off being fired as long as possible. The problem? I have a salary position so no over time pay is provided and I am not getting any change in my current pay for this second job. I am freaking out! I not only have no back up plan, no cushy savings account and no second income from a spouse but I will likely be FIRED from both divisions at the same time! From what I know about Newco I have a few months....and then I am done (Ironically, I am pretty sure my replacements will be hired in the next few weeks under a different umbrella for now.)! My outgoing expenses will not change so what to do? Well, on the way home tonight I cried...OVER A JOB! Are you kidding me...who does that? It was less about the job and more about the consequences I am about to face. I have two babies that count on me and only me. Loser rented out their room this weekend and got rid of what little toys they had. They now have a couch and some things in the living room. I find that totally unacceptable and planned to come down hard on loser should he ever return my call...looks like I might be joining him instead.
Hmmm, getting it out really didn't help...just made it more real! I am so not above "would you like fries with that?" I know the rumor is God will not give you more than you can handle but God didn't throw this at me...my employer did and I don't think they subscribe to the same philosophy.
Well that was perfectly whine-o-rific...Yeah, me!