Monday, June 1, 2009

Baby Love....

I am ANGRY! PTD is a giant jerkface! Why for the second time in a month has he shown up only to E's games and not to N's? And he shows up to nothing during the week. I want to smack him, tell him he comes to both or none at all, bury him in a field somewhere! I am grateful that N doesn't seem to notice that his jerkface dad shows up at the park long after his game has ended. I know, 9:00 in the morning is SOO early to drag your lazy ass out of bed and out to see your sons last few remaining little league games. Why is it so hard for some people to put their children first? I seriously can't even comprehend it! I am so glad the both the boys don't really seem to notice that he doesn't show-up (in more ways than one) when he should but I know and it kills me. I thought I was over my initial anger until I was talking to D today and she explained what transpired between her ex and their (her) grown daughter. This guy has two amazing children and he doesn't participate at all in their lives other than to be a complete idiot...way to go loser! They are collectively better off without him! Too bad he decides to torment them when he can't sleep.

Call me what you will, disappoint me all you want, be a jerkface dirtbag...but DO NOT do it to my children (or any children (or dogs) for that matter). I am a mama first and foremost and don't you forget it! I didn't see the jerkiness in PTD until it was too late and I guess that is a good thing or I wouldn't have E & N so I can't really regret that. Second time around? Yep SAME bad choice...way to go L! So I made the on the on-the-spot decision that I will not put my little people through that again. I am the one that should be protecting them and not introducing the losers into the mix right? So I am on a self-imposed 10 year hiatus from any kind of serious relationship (M & E are working on finding a guy with a very demanding job that I will only see occasionally and can meet all the requirements...ha,ha!) . I have two little boys for crying out loud and with a shining example of what not to be I need to prevent any additional examples...that's my job! They have Grandpa (MAN, I LOVE MY DAD!), Papa (I love A's dad too), Uncle B, Uncle A and several good examples of how to be a man! ( babies will be men someday!) :)

I am a firm believer in LOVE and contrary to the above statement I don't hate men...I hate jerks! :) How can I hate men when I know good, committed ones do live here on earth. DC's husband T is great! He clearly loves his wife, son and soon-to-be son like crazy..YIPPEE! MK's husband M is a wonderful husband and father to their 4 kids! I blog stalk several other people with perfectly wonderful husbands/fathers. My boys will grow up to be like these men. I am a believer in you either repeat the mistakes of your parents or you learn from them. I am fairly certain that I learned from my mother's mistakes and refused to repeat them. E & N will have to decide what direction they take. As their mother I will demand, plead, bribe them to choose not to repeat! I decided early on in each situation that I will not bad mouth anyone to the boys. They are little people and have the right to make their own decisions and have their own feelings but man I needed to get it out of my system before I exploded. They will reach an age (like I did) where you figure it out for yourself. I pray (HARD) that I make the best choices I can for them and that we come out better and stronger on the other side. I know that my mentor/high school mom MG and her daughter JB did. :)

I am so thankful for my true, dear friends that listen to my crazy mom anger and respond accordingly...with wine, margaritas and/or Starbucks! :) They will always throw in a "what a jerk" from time to time too. :) and I can come over UNANNOUNCED anytime I darn well feel like it!

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