WOW!

I am not cut out to parent 5 kids! I was a temporary parent to a 2 year old, two 7 year olds, a 10 year old and a 15 year old. I did this for four days and three nights, weekends and workdays, preschool drop offs, diapers, teenage issues, fighting boys, work, dishes, meals, bath time, playtime. I am exhausted! Luckily I love the extra kids as much as I do my own so that was easy. We swam, played, returned a lost dog, had ice cream and swam some more.

I had forgotten what it was like to have a toddler, someone who had to be physically watched all the time. A beautiful girl who could snore like a 40 year old man, slept like a tornado and drove WallE CRAZY!

They went home last night around 9:30ish and I came inside and got right into bed. The boys were even exhausted. Going to work seemed like a break. I would do it all over again if they asked.

It is now 7:30. I went to work, came home and had dinner with the boys and then we ran some errands and now I am in bed watching a movie and eating chocolate pie. I won't even pretend like I care about the mountain of dishes and laundry in my house. I plan to be a veg the rest of the night. Even the boys still seem tired.

I am grateful for friends willing to leave me in charge of their babies and grateful they came home and said babies were in one piece. For a very limited time I will feel like being a single parent of two boys is a breeze! :)

My house is a disaster. I hate my job. My yard makes it looks like my house might be abandoned. My parents are hitting the road permanently. My bank account is as skinny as I wish I was. I hate cancer.

I am healthy. My kids are healthy. My friends are fucking awesome - the old ones and the new ones. My parents are going to have an amazing time. I have wine. I have chocolate. It.Is.SUMMERTIME!

Its all good!

Hmmmm....

Maybe I'll do this again! :)

Disaster!

Today was a disaster of epic proportions! Everything that could have gone wrong at work went! People cried and I spent most of my day with the door closed getting NOTHING done. Odds are it will continue tomorrow.

I sit here, hours later, emailing with my boss, drinking wine, listening to my ipod and randomly petting the dog. I wanted to come home and wallow in the misery that was my day but that generally isn't on my single mom agenda. Thursday nights we pick up my friends son because she works late. I made them all dinner, cleaned up the mess and then sat down to do the work I didn't get done earlier in the day. I was glad the kids had some one to play with since I wasn't. They ended up having fun (as usual!) and I pounded out email after email while silently singing to my favorite play list.

I am MOST certain the wine helped me try to let it all go but, I really think the music helped more. It is such a release for me. If we didn't have company the kids would have been subjected to singing far worse that what we see on American Idol! I AM TERRIBLE! Ear bleeding bad and I don't care.

It was nice to blast the radio at defining levels all the way to the kids school and then listen to them talk about their day.

I wish I had high hopes for tomorrow. My only saving grace is FRIDAY, more music, more kids, friends and of course, more wine!

Happy New Year...

UGH, I am sick! I haven't been sick in such a long time. Made it all the way through the holiday season so I guess I shouldn't complain. So far the kids are ok so that makes it even better. It makes me appreciate the comfort of my bed. Soft and fluffy like a cloud, warm and snuggly like a hug....wow, I am having a relationship with my bed...AWESOME!

Tomorrow is F-R-I-D-A-Y and I have the day off on Monday so I am hoping for some recovery time, some house cleaning, some tv watching and whatever else strikes our fancy!

Happy almost weekend. I hope this New Year start is simply rocky so the rest of they year can kick ass!

Things I Did on My Christmas Vacation....

1. Spent EVERY single day with my boys!
2. Loved the Christmas Eve service at church...very kid centric and ran into friends from high school that I love!
3. Got the surprise of a lifetime! I friend bought me an amazing gift, a totally unexpected gift, a gift that came with the most thoughtful note, one that I have salivated over for months. I am the proud owner (and frequent user) of a NookColor.
4. Went to the movies with the boys on a random Monday afternoon. :)
5. Went to the San Jose Mission so E could see first hand the mission he was writing about.
6. Had many a kid sleepovers.
7. Watched terrible TV...lots of it!
8. Had a kick ass NYE party with a more kids.
9. Stayed up late and slept in (kind of...these kids don't sleep).
10. Played a million games of Monopoly, Sorry, Scrabble Flash....
11. Made no silly resolutions that I have no intention of keeping.
12. Made one resolution I do intend to keep - Dead Beat Dad look out! I am coming for you this year. These boys deserve better than what you don't bother to give them.

Funky...

I wish I knew what my problem was...I am UGH! My birthday sucked...seriously. It was a Monday, I had to work late, I had no plans, kids still needed to be taken care of...and so on. D and M took me to lunch so that was a shining spot. Got lots of FB birthday wishes. Gift cards as gift. Ever wonder if everyone gives you gift cards because they know you love to shop or because they don't really know you?

The kids are good, fighting and whining about school (mostly N!) and throwing fits about anything. The house is a mess and money is crazy tight because assface still doesn't feel compelled to do anything. Work sucks and I haven't gone to they gym in forever.

All I want to to is cry...constantly. I am really trying not to. I stay busy at home and work. I get excited for others good news and I try very hard to count my blessings and I know they are many. It just isn't working. I keep trying to instill that positive attitude but it is eluding me...big time!

Damn, that was so whiny and it makes me glad know one else reads this ridiculousness..it is so stupid..wish I didn't really feel this way.....