Grateful for the Everyday

WOW!

2011-07-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

I am not cut out to parent 5 kids! I was a temporary parent to a 2 year old, two 7 year olds, a 10 year old and a 15 year old. I did this for four days and three nights, weekends and workdays, preschool drop offs, diapers, teenage issues, fighting boys, work, dishes, meals, bath time, playtime. I am exhausted! Luckily I love the extra kids as much as I do my own so that was easy. We swam, played, returned a lost dog, had ice cream and swam some more.

I had forgotten what it was like to have a toddler, someone who had to be physically watched all the time. A beautiful girl who could snore like a 40 year old man, slept like a tornado and drove WallE CRAZY!

They went home last night around 9:30ish and I came inside and got right into bed. The boys were even exhausted. Going to work seemed like a break. I would do it all over again if they asked.

It is now 7:30. I went to work, came home and had dinner with the boys and then we ran some errands and now I am in bed watching a movie and eating chocolate pie. I won't even pretend like I care about the mountain of dishes and laundry in my house. I plan to be a veg the rest of the night. Even the boys still seem tired.

I am grateful for friends willing to leave me in charge of their babies and grateful they came home and said babies were in one piece. For a very limited time I will feel like being a single parent of two boys is a breeze! :)

2011-07-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

My house is a disaster. I hate my job. My yard makes it looks like my house might be abandoned. My parents are hitting the road permanently. My bank account is as skinny as I wish I was. I hate cancer.

I am healthy. My kids are healthy. My friends are fucking awesome - the old ones and the new ones. My parents are going to have an amazing time. I have wine. I have chocolate. It.Is.SUMMERTIME!

Its all good!

Hmmmm....

2011-07-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'll do this again! :)

Disaster!

2011-02-03T21:38:00.000-08:00

Today was a disaster of epic proportions! Everything that could have gone wrong at work went! People cried and I spent most of my day with the door closed getting NOTHING done. Odds are it will continue tomorrow.

I sit here, hours later, emailing with my boss, drinking wine, listening to my ipod and randomly petting the dog. I wanted to come home and wallow in the misery that was my day but that generally isn't on my single mom agenda. Thursday nights we pick up my friends son because she works late. I made them all dinner, cleaned up the mess and then sat down to do the work I didn't get done earlier in the day. I was glad the kids had some one to play with since I wasn't. They ended up having fun (as usual!) and I pounded out email after email while silently singing to my favorite play list.

I am MOST certain the wine helped me try to let it all go but, I really think the music helped more. It is such a release for me. If we didn't have company the kids would have been subjected to singing far worse that what we see on American Idol! I AM TERRIBLE! Ear bleeding bad and I don't care.

It was nice to blast the radio at defining levels all the way to the kids school and then listen to them talk about their day.

I wish I had high hopes for tomorrow. My only saving grace is FRIDAY, more music, more kids, friends and of course, more wine!

Happy New Year...

2011-01-13T19:12:00.000-08:00

UGH, I am sick! I haven't been sick in such a long time. Made it all the way through the holiday season so I guess I shouldn't complain. So far the kids are ok so that makes it even better. It makes me appreciate the comfort of my bed. Soft and fluffy like a cloud, warm and snuggly like a hug....wow, I am having a relationship with my bed...AWESOME!

Tomorrow is F-R-I-D-A-Y and I have the day off on Monday so I am hoping for some recovery time, some house cleaning, some tv watching and whatever else strikes our fancy!

Happy almost weekend. I hope this New Year start is simply rocky so the rest of they year can kick ass!

Things I Did on My Christmas Vacation....

2011-01-03T14:18:00.000-08:00

1. Spent EVERY single day with my boys!
2. Loved the Christmas Eve service at church...very kid centric and ran into friends from high school that I love!
3. Got the surprise of a lifetime! I friend bought me an amazing gift, a totally unexpected gift, a gift that came with the most thoughtful note, one that I have salivated over for months. I am the proud owner (and frequent user) of a NookColor.
4. Went to the movies with the boys on a random Monday afternoon. :)
5. Went to the San Jose Mission so E could see first hand the mission he was writing about.
6. Had many a kid sleepovers.
7. Watched terrible TV...lots of it!
8. Had a kick ass NYE party with a more kids.
9. Stayed up late and slept in (kind of...these kids don't sleep).
10. Played a million games of Monopoly, Sorry, Scrabble Flash....
11. Made no silly resolutions that I have no intention of keeping.
12. Made one resolution I do intend to keep - Dead Beat Dad look out! I am coming for you this year. These boys deserve better than what you don't bother to give them.

Funky...

2010-09-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew what my problem was...I am UGH! My birthday sucked...seriously. It was a Monday, I had to work late, I had no plans, kids still needed to be taken care of...and so on. D and M took me to lunch so that was a shining spot. Got lots of FB birthday wishes. Gift cards as gift. Ever wonder if everyone gives you gift cards because they know you love to shop or because they don't really know you?

The kids are good, fighting and whining about school (mostly N!) and throwing fits about anything. The house is a mess and money is crazy tight because assface still doesn't feel compelled to do anything. Work sucks and I haven't gone to they gym in forever.

All I want to to is cry...constantly. I am really trying not to. I stay busy at home and work. I get excited for others good news and I try very hard to count my blessings and I know they are many. It just isn't working. I keep trying to instill that positive attitude but it is eluding me...big time!

Damn, that was so whiny and it makes me glad know one else reads this ridiculousness..it is so stupid..wish I didn't really feel this way.....

Boys Weekend

2010-08-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend was all about the boys! Friday night we just hung out at home....we had a big day planned on Saturday.

Saturday morning the boys got to go out to Sac State and participate in a baseball clinic featuring the Sac State coaching staff, team and several professional players. It was AWESOME! They had the best time. The clinic was free...my favorite part! :) If the boys were older it would have been a little more exciting. They had scouts from six major league teams in attendance...could you imagine!?! N felt the need to tell them that he was really only six...you know, since you had to be eight to participate in the clinic. The lady just laughed and let him play anyways. He was super nervous before it started and wasn't sure he wanted to play and I think he ended up having the best time. The players really tried to impress on the kids the importance of school and playing outside rather than video games and txt'ing. Overall - a great experience for all of us.

After the clinic we went home and relaxed a little, changed and ate dinner before we headed over to ARCO to watch the MegaTriples ASA BMX show. I got a email earlier in the week for $10 tix. This happened last year with the circus. The seats ended up being really good but I also have a friend that works part time at the arena and he ended up getting us moved to the front row floor. The kids got to high-five the riders. It was awesome! I did repeat often that they should not go home and try any of these tricks in the front yard. DO NOT DO IT! :) These kids (and men) were amazing. I paid more to park my car in the lot than I did to park my kids butt in a seat.

So basically they spent the morning touching pro baseball players and the evening touching pro-BMX riders...I wasn't sure I was going to get them to take a shower! :)

They had a great time at both and I loved watching them. We got some ice cream after the show and then home to play a little more Price Is Right.

Sunday we had pizza with my family and then went on a bike ride. Other than that it was pretty low key day. Not nearly enough cleaning or laundry happened at my house so that is a must this week.

Shut your mouth!

2010-08-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have a serious problem with this. You would think based on the amount of input I provide that my life was perfect. So not the case so please tell me why I can't seem to keep my opinion to myself about anything lately. It is a fucking epidemic.

Coach and his kids, D enjoying her remodel, J & A and the meds that little A is going to be taking..anything and everything. I swear I need to tape my damn mouth closed. Thank GOD these people like me enough so far to continue to talk to me but if I don't shut up soon I am going to be giving my opinion to WallE about how to properly lick his backside...UGH!

I give in...I will still have way too much to say but I am going to try and only say it in my head for a little while. My perpetual need to get it done and "help" those I care about is kicking my ass (or more like kicking the ass of everyone else)...not fun!

NOTE TO SELF...SHUT THE FUCK UP GIRL!

Kids

2010-08-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

Last night we went home and I made dinner and then we started homework. N had finished his and E only had reading left. He used to LOVE to read but hearing other kids his age talk about hating it he decided he did too so he didn't read at all this summer. He was pretty bummed at the beginning of school that he only tested slightly over the end of 4th grade reading level (he had been in 4th grade for 2 days at this point). I was pleased with his results but said maybe if he had read more during the summer he would have scored higher...just a thought.

So back to last night...we are sitting on my bed and I set the timer for 30 minutes. I was reading my book next to him and just as time was running out he asked what I would do when the 30 minutes was up and I said I planned on reading more..I LOVE my books. He decided the same and we read for over an hour. He really enjoyed it and said he remembers that he does love to read...let's hope he continues.

N on the other hand decided last night was a good time to be a bit crazy. "Mom, I want to adopt a baby penguin. He can live in our freezer and I will check on him ever 4 weeks." I have no idea. Later..."Maybe a shark too. He can stay in the bath tub until he gets big and then we can move to Grandpa's and he can stay in the pool." E points out that sharks bite and so we couldn't swim anymore. "Duh E, it would be a pet shark so he wouldn't bite anybody. I love Great White sharks." This kid was killing me! :)

After the entertainment of N, we went to play Price Is Right on the Wii. N won and promises to take me on his trip to Paris and I get the wine cooler but he is keeping his golf cart. Sounds like a fair deal...wonder when they deliver?

Weekend...

2010-08-23T14:16:00.000-07:00

I really still can't believe the weekend is over ALREADY! UGH! GRRR!

Friday night after work I went home and hung out with the kiddos. We had pancakes for dinner and watched some stupid movie. Terribly exciting stuff!

Saturday the boys went to play golf with grandpa and my mom and I went to see Eat, Pray, Love. It was a good movie. I don't think I would have left Italy...ever! I wonder what it would be like to get to just move, leave, change your mind. Restart your whole life. Hmmm? Later I ran some errands and hung out at home mostly. Later that night we went to help Coach finish up a project at his family restaurant. It wasn't as quick as I thought. We got home late and crashed.

Sunday I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, finished my book, watched another movie, laid around the house and eventually went back to help at the restaurant some more...a lot more! The boys really liked hanging out so they didn't mind...not to mention pizza for dinner.

Today I am tired, my house is a little messy and I didn't get my laundry finished. I wish it was Friday all over again. I want to lay on my couch some more...PLEASE! The weekend didn't feel nearly as boring as it reads...it was actually really nice. :)

Friday, Friday, Friday!

2010-08-20T14:57:00.001-07:00

I am so glad the weekend is here! We had a pretty busy week around our house.

Monday night we spent some time with some out of towners we seriously miss. It was awesome. Tuesday I helped Coach do some manual labor...it sucked! Wednesday the boys and I went home after work/school and crashed in our jammies, ate chinese food and watched cartoons. Last night was back to school night and I got to meet the boys teachers and learn about the year ahead.

It was our first full week of school and all that comes with it. The boys have done great. E gets his homework done at the after school program and N hasn't had any yet but will do the same. They both seem to have settled in nicely. THANKFULLY!

Our weekend plans consist of N-O-T-H-I-N-G! OMG! I am so excited. We are just going to be home, be lazy, watch TV, clean up, bake, sleep, not get dressed, ride bikes, do some yard work and maybe some garage cleaning and READ, READ, READ! No birthday parties, weddings, family functions...just two days of free time.

2010-08-16T14:43:00.000-07:00

School was a hit! The boys both love their teachers and the new school...even the after school program. Two days of school and two days off sounded like a good idea to them.

After school we went and had ice cream like usual and heard all the details of the day. N ended up with his BEST FRIEND in class. He was so brave going into class thinking he didn't know any other kids and then was surprised with his buddy. I was so happy for him. E knew lots of kids in his class and seemed pretty unconcerned about the whole new school thing.

Friday night we went to the G family's house for dinner again. I am so going to steal that baby. We had lots of wine (again), yummy food (again), hot tub party (again) and stayed up way too late. Saturday we went to their daughter's soccer game and then over to my parents house for dinner and swimming and water sliding. Got to spend some time talking with my dad and just hanging out.

Sunday was major house cleaning day...UGH! It was a task but it was much needed. Now the garage needs to be cleaned and the rest of the yard sale stuff donated to charity. I have a wish list of other things I would like to "fix" around the house. None of them are actual broken things...just the stuff I want to change. Nothing will be happening soon but it's good to have ideas ready should I come into a large influx of cash...yeah, that is so going to happen any day now!

This week is pretty low key for us. Chicago fam over tonight and back to school later in the week and that is just about it for us. Maybe some garage cleaning mid-week - oh that sounds like so much fun! I figure homework will start any day now.....even more fun!

I'm

2010-08-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

I'm tired! Things always seem to be the same.

I am really excited for the boys to start school. I know they are excited too. New clothes, backpacks, lunch pails, shoes...the works. New school, teachers, friends.

Sometimes...I want that! Work is the same, and oh so fun! The house never seems to stay clean. I spend all weekend cleaning and then it is thrashed. My niece isn't helping in that at all. Tomorrow is the last day so I am just letting it go until then. I am frustrated to be worrying about money again. Loser isn't paying and this month child care will run me about $1,200! I have two weeks of summer care, one 3 wk month of school care and then I have to pay September at the end of August and it is a 5 wk month...YIKES! School clothes and all those extra expenses have just been taxing at the moment.

Ironically, when I think about it I really don't want much more than I have. Life is good. I love what I do, I just wish it was more like before the buyout and for more $$$. I wish I wasn't struggling with the financial aspect. Considering I have been careful with my decisions and this is a result of someone else it is hard to take sometimes. I love my babies, my friends and fam...and don't need anything else in that department. So I guess it is just less work stress and more $$$. Gosh, $$ worries..I must be the only one (whine, whine, whine) Target is just going to have to deal with the lose of revenue!

The kids are happy and I have been spending time with the BFF's a lot and with school back in our schedule should be back to normal soon. Grandma L will be here soon and I can't wait to see her and the kids.

Just a little funky lately....made some cookies...maybe that will turn it around! :)

Weekend Update....

2010-08-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

Friday night I took my Grandma to the cemetery to visit with my Grandpa and then the boys and I ran some errands with Coach and his son. We made a quick stop at Rubio's for dinner and then I raced home because A & J decided to come over and hang out. The girlies had wanted to watch a movie I got the other day so they came to watch it with the boys and we decided to have a cocktail or two and hang out. WE HAD FUN! :) The kids watched the movie, we laughed a lot, I took the kids on a bike ride around the block a few times...at 11:00. :) They stayed and played until after midnight.

Saturday we had lunch for my nieces birthday at Spaghetti Factory downtown...all 20 of us! It was fun. Little M showed me her cheers - OMG! so cute. We just hung out the rest of the day. I made dinner for all of us and then we decided to take the kids on a bike ride again, at a more reasonable hour. E & N both got flat tires so we walked out bikes back home. Later that night Coach and all the kids were over to hang out a bit. We chatted and just hung out.

Today we cleaned house - FUN, ran to the store - OH THE EXCITEMENT! and then went to A's parents for the girls birthday party - Ok that really was fun! I got to snuggle the baby, hang out with the besties, chat with my "other family" and I was even nice. I was polite when the need arose, had yummy cupcakes, had some champagne with the ladies and chatted with my "boyfriend" (otherwise known as J's step dad - he is adorable and so funny). The kids are watching a movie and I am sitting on the couch. E just came out and said he thought he might barf...PLEASE NO! He isn't sure why - his tummy doesn't hurt but he still thinks he might. If you are - better now than later - you start school in four days! BE WELL!

Lessons learned

2010-08-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight after dinner the boys and I went and picked up my grandma and took her out for ice cream. It was a surprise visit so she wasn't ready to "go out"...so funny! Grandma we are going to small town ice cream and you look fine but no way. She had to comb her hair, change her pants and find some different shoes. The boys were playing with the dog so I sat on the couch. Something fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up. They were old cards, Easter cards, a Birthday card. They were addressed to my grandma and they were from my grandpa. I started to cry. My grandpa has been gone for over ten years and she is still reading his cards. She misses him still today. She mentioned at ice cream that she hadn't been to see him in a long time. "No one likes to go to the cemetery you know." So I promised to take her after work tomorrow. We chatted a little more while we ate our pineapple sherbet and then she mentioned really needing some groceries so we hit up the store. Once she was done the boys bagged her groceries and we helped put them away when we got home. I don't visit often enough.....

My grandparents were married in their early 20's and were married for over 50 years before my grandpa passed away. Why settle for someone you won't miss after they have been gone for 10 years. There are people I don't miss the second they are out the door. If I was ever to decide to do the whole marriage thing again it would have to be with someone that would still miss me 10 years later, someone I would miss right back. I seriously doubt that is even possible so I guess it isn't likely and that's ok. To know that someone I love had that kind of relationship is awesome.

Tomorrow when I take her to see him she will tell him little things and I will listen. The boys have never been but heard us talking so they want to come. I think they are old enough to understand what is happening and they didn't know my grandpa so they won't be "missing him" the same is if we were visiting someone they knew. I will be. I love my grandpa. He was the only one I knew growing up. He was so funny and knew every kind of plant in the yard...and I am talking HUNDREDS! He could grow a garden like no ones business. What a story teller too. I wish the boys could have known him.

She doesn't know I saw the cards and she doesn't need to. My grandpa knows she is still reading them and thinking of him after all this time and that is enough.

Wishing.......

Hmmm.....

2010-08-04T21:13:00.001-07:00

I have no idea why I stopped blogging...I guess it just didn't fit in the summer schedule. I miss it. I have continued to read all the blogs I follow.

Let's see...where to start! The boys are getting ready to start school..a new school. Our old one closed. They are excited and so am I. We have done all our shopping. Next week we will get hair cuts, find out our teachers names, have an ice cream social and then start....very exciting times!

Coach and I are still seeing each other. We spend a lot of time with our kids and that has been fun. Not sure what it all means or where it will go or where I want it to go...time will tell I guess. It is mostly fun, we laugh a lot. The kids adore each other. I adore all the kids.

Time together without kids has been few and far between. PTD became a world class loser! He no longer sees the boys and hasn't for months. He doesn't call, he doesn't pay and he doesn't return phone calls. I wish him death...I know that is terrible to say but you already broke my babies hearts you mother fucker so you may happily go straight to hell! And FUCK OFF! No nice way to say that. I HATE YOU! I basically told your mother that on the phone the other day!

We went camping over part of the 4th of July weekend, spent time in SF, went on LOTS of bike rides, went to the movies, had a yard sale, switched some things up at the house. Over all a great summer. The kids are getting too big and no longer wanting to do little kid stuff. :( Where the heck are my babies.

Maybe I will try and remember to do this more often......

Long time coming......

2010-06-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

Baseball is finally over and I feel like I might resemble a normal person soon....probably not!

The boys are done with school. N got straight A's and E had a couple of B's to go with his A's. AMAZING kids. We got into the school we wanted for next year. What a relief.

Summer brought a lot of other changes for us...some good and some not so much. The boys dad has disappeared. No longer paying any child support or portion of my outrageous summer day care expenses. Even leaving me with some old debit from our past provider. Hasn't called the boys or returned any of my numerous messages. E is having a hard time understanding and not being worried that I am going to leave him too. N really doesn't seem to care. Since the other place was soo expensive, my niece is watching them for the summer at a slightly discounted rate. Still way more than I can afford. It really sucks! I didn't plan on footing the bill alone while cleaning up his past expenses. It will really cut out our summer vacation plans but we will figure it out. Paying, or lack of paying, has never kept him from the boys before so I really don't understand why he is ignoring them now. Only time will tell I guess.

Doing some work around the house and yard (cheap work) and trying to have some fun. Swimming at grandpa's and getting to meet my niece for the first time and she is five! Family issues have kept my "step-brother" from bringing her around. Hopefully that has changed.

Lots of time spent with friends just hanging out!

Coach and I are still seeing each other. Kids and all! Had all the kids together for a few days during the Memorial Day holiday...including a trip to the beach. A couple of all out sleepovers...five kids deep. :) I am sure I have a lot more on that front but we will still have to wait and see. Wishing good things....PLEASE! :)

I know I have so much more to say but I just can't think of it...maybe I will catch up blog as I remember. I can't count the number of times I have gone back and read things to enjoy and remember. I don't think I have wanted to face what a nightmare the situation with loser has become and the impact it is having on our lives...financially and emotionally. I hope we all come out better for it in the end.

Almost made it!

2010-05-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Friday and I might just make it! This week has been fine but I am still ready for the weekend.

Tuesday night was N's play and he was ADORABLE! Then E won his game....like a kick ass game and my kid was the winning run....AWESOME! I helped dress the class in costumes and that was ummm, fun? And then we had the parent/coach fighting...that was fun!

Last night we went to the mall to get a birthday present for Coach's daughter and she ended up coming too and we had a blast. I'm guessing she really likes her gifts. Actually, I am sure she does, she did pick them out. :) We had Cinnabon and ice cream before we left and I do so love the mall.

Tonight N had a game and then I came home and set up my new laptop (WOOHOO!) and I am sitting on the couch as I type this...so exciting! The kids are up late because I wasn't paying attention to the time and they have a field trip tomorrow that I can't go on because of a stupid work meeting that I have to attend and I don't even get to wear jeans...on a FRIDAY! WTF!?!

Tomorrow H is showing her movie...I can't wait! I know a famous movie star and I get to spend Friday night watching her shine. Ironic considering she doesn't like it when people look at her. Saturday we have a pancake breakfast, a 1st birthday party, a baseball game and a 16th birthday party...busy day anyone? Sunday is going to have to be cleaning day...my house is NUTS! I seem to say that a lot don't I? Wonder why I can't seem to figure that out.

Coach and I had an awkward moment the other day and I had a pretty strong reaction to it. I am guessing it is because I analyze everything. He doesn't think it was a big deal...said sorry and not really thought about it since. I still seem to contemplate it...not sure why. I am certain that past history will repeat itself for me and I can't let that feeling go. Part of me doesn't want to, I figure I won't be surprised when it happens. Yeah, I totally tried that before and it sooo didn't work so I don't know why I think it will this time. So I guess that is why I am focusing on that small incident. It is what it is and I can't change me or my overactive, pessimistic, dramatic mind. He still does all these nice things and says the right things and its nice...and.....

Happy Mother's Day / Weekend

2010-05-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

I really can't believe it is Monday! I swear it was just Friday a second ago and now here I am with FIVE whole days to wait until the weekend...UGH! And it is going to be a week!

My weekend was pretty crazy. Friday night after N's game I was a concert with my sister and niece. We met the members of a new band I love - Cavo and several of the Lifehouse peeps. This happened only because of where our seats were located (good seats!). Yelled some cursing words at these old ladies behind us that insisted people should sit down during a concert. They also felt that throwing things would be the best way of convincing you. It convinced me to call her some names, laugh at her and the proceed to NEVER sit down. Suck it mean lady!

Saturday was baseball-0-rama day. Both the kids had games and we had only a little downtime between N's early game and E's very long game. After the games we went to J's house for dinner. It was her present from the hub. (A pattern that I LOVE - her V Day gift was him babysitting so she and I could go to the movies and shopping and then her M Day gift is dinner for us!) Dinner was awesome and we had so much fun. Then dessert came and we laughed our asses off! He made a cake and wrote "Thanks for your vagina" on the cake...even made sure to write vagina in pink. He then sang a song to go with it...AWESOME! :) After dinner, cake and lots of drinks a few of us made a quick "memorial" trip to Thunder Valley. I don't gamble but it was a favorite thing for Coach's mom and since it was Mother's Day weekend we went to "celebrate" it with her in spirit. First machine he touched he won $325! A and I decided that we needed to show these peeps how to dance...we were the only ones and it was more then funny! At this point it is pretty late, I have had more than a couple adult beverages, my tummy is full and my Starbuck's did nothing...I am ready for sleepytime!

Sunday morning we met ass early for breakfast with my mom, sisters, niece and grandma. FUN! We ate and exchanged gifts and then I made Coach take me home for a nap before the boys came home. PTD actually let them buy me a card and little plant for the first time EVER! The boys made me cards at school too (my fav!). Coach had brought me flowers too. We hung out at home, had impromptu photos snapped by N and cleaned a little before heading off to my parents for an early dinner. The very best part? N fell asleep on my lap. Well, he fell asleep and I picked him up and snuggled him. I miss my little baby. He is always good for some snuggles. We went to Target on our way home and then just hung out around the house for the rest of the night. It was pretty awesome.

This morning Coach brought donuts for us before school/work...it was nice of him. He does a lot of nice things....sigh......

Back to reality and work.

Kid Convo...

2010-05-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

J and I took the kids for ice cream like we do every Wednesday. Here is the conversation E & S had with the ice cream lady.

(TV on and Dr. Phil is playing)

S - I love Dr. Phil!
IL - Really? So you like bald guys do you? Ha, Ha!
E - My mom sure does! (The Coach is bald!)

Thank you E...anything else you need to share with random strangers we see on a weekly basis about your mommy? Per J, your not really good at hiding your feelings are you? As my face turned bright red...No J, I'm not so good at that! :)

Yesterday SUCKED ASS!

2010-05-05T09:29:00.000-07:00

I was not a fan of yesterday and was more than happy for it to be OVER! Ironically, I saw several people I know post something on good old FB last night indicating the same thing...must have been in the air. The air was the one good thing about yesterday, it was so nice out. The day did not go as planned, the day sucked. I tried! I really, really tried! I ended up being sad and crabby and not at all interesting to anyone that my have wanted to talk to me after 5:00. Well, other than the BFF A. She talked to me, she always does. She always helps but things in perspective and truly believes the whole "it will all work out" philosophy. I do not subscribe to that line of thinking. I have wanted too. Instead I am a worrier. I always feel like I have to make it work...nothing is just going to "work out" you have to plan, and worry and make lists people! I know at the end of the day I really have no control over the whole thing but damn it, I will fight it until the end. (Ok, well that was all a tangent!)

Anyways, yesterday I felt like a total outsider. Like I didn't belong. It sucked. It was probably my fault, I should have known better but I didn't. I'm glad I know now and won't get blindsided by it again (I HOPE!). Your going to miss the big stuff, get over it you big baby! The specifics of what and why really don't matter and I decided I don't want to relive them here every time I read this so I am going to leave it alone and just remember it happened and will again and it's just too damn bad. I will deal with it as it comes and be happy for those that I love that love me back. My bitches got it! :)

Rest of the weekend....

2010-05-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday night turned out to be entirely too much fun! Coach dropped me off for my dinner at N's coaches house so I didn't have to worry about driving if we decided to have some wine (LOTS of it!). So, at 4:30 I was enjoying some wine and girl talk with H and her sister (also H) and the boys were running around and their older daughter was chatting with us too. Coach ended up coming and getting her husband to take him to the races with the older kids. We ladies had much more wine before we ate, laughed A LOT, got in the spa while the little boys decided it was warm enough to swim. Oh that night was a blast! Coach came around 11:00 and picked me and the little one up and made sure we got safely home. I can't even put into words the fun we had.

Sunday J and I took the kids to the movies. I highly suggest skipping Furry Vengeance if you can. The kids looovvveedd it...J and I, not so much. We hit up the Old Navy sale...the boys were in desperate need of summer clothes and I got a few things too...you know...several hundred dollars later..OUCH! We had some Mexican food for lunch and then agreed a nap sounded like a good idea. Too bad Coach had other plans. He called and the boys wanted to go play at the fields so I let them all ride scooters from my house to the park and he met us a few minutes later. I called the other team mom and she and her son came too. By 7:30 it was apparent that E had reached the end of the line and needed to chill out. We went home and he took a shower and ate and then passed out on the couch. N ate and then took a shower too but was less tire for some unknown reason! The rest of the night, what was left of it, was pretty quiet.

I can't believe how busy and fun the weekend was and how quickly it went! These kids are a blast. I need to clean and do laundry and figure out how to find $500ish extra dollars...somehow I don't think I will find it in the laundry like that random $5. I want to do some little projects around the house and that amount would take care of most of them. Come on money fairy...visit me, visit me! :)

Sunny Sunshine

2010-05-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

As I type this E and The Boy are playing Wii and Coach is watching. Last night we went and grabbed In & Out and then ice cream and came back to my house. The Boy and another kid from E's team had a sleep over at our house. I had to buy each kid a different box of cereal for breakfast. They ran around outside riding scooters...in their UNDERWEAR...around my neighborhood....monsters! We tried (I tried) to watch Avatar and finally around 11:30 they passed out.

We had an early game this morning and lost...suck it! After, we all went for pizza (again) and then N had a game this afternoon. A FINALLY got her toe fixed so I had the girlies with me. :) After N's game he went home with K - my "shared husband" and I came home to find the other three in the front yard. We are just hanging out now and then I am going to husbands for dinner and Coach is taking E and his boy to the races while we have our girls dinner. Tomorrow J and I are going to take the kids to a movie and possibly Target/Old Navy...WOOHOO! :)

It has been such amazing weather and things have been lots of fun. J is graduating from collage today and that is just AWESOME! I hope that she and her family are having an amazing day and getting ready for their Mexican cruise tomorrow.

Happy rest of the weekend!

Friday, Friday, Friday!

2010-04-30T13:31:00.001-07:00

I'm tired! It's Friday...finally!

&*)@#^!+

2010-04-28T13:27:00.000-07:00

Everything has just been so crazy busy lately. Our weeks and weekends are running together. I am forgetting things, not getting stuff done, running around like a chicken with my head cut off! Our school is closing so we (the posse and I) are trying to figure out where to collectively send our kids, we have seventy hundred baseball games, homework, laundry, work!

Friday night both the boys had games at the same time again. N ended up getting hit in the face with a bat. Poor kid! He had his helmet on and was fine but he did end up with a blister like mark on his cheek and some tears. He still wanted his turn to bat! After his game was over he got to come over to E's and get lots of sympathy from EVERYONE! E's game was good, long, but no injuries. After the game, the boys went home with PTD and The Coach and I decided to go to dinner with A & N...F-U-N! That was one interesting dinner! After dinner we hung out at my house for a little while to be silly. He fit right in! :)

Saturday N had another game in the afternoon. I had to go pick them up at PDT's house since he "reminded" me at the last minute that he couldn't get them because of a "class?!?" he had in the morning. I was going to the game either way but this just meant getting up earlier and heading the opposite direction to his house first. The game was fun - I love N's coach and family...we have so much fun. After the game PTD showed up at the field and got the boys for the rest of his weekend. The Coach and I headed off to for lunch and shopping...I LOVE THE GALLERIA! I got my oil change all taken care of too. Found way too many cute shoes at DSW and had lunch at The Counter. We seemed to be gone forever. I still needed to go to Target too and off to try and find this yummy wine. No such luck on the wine. I guess I have to order it! We stopped off later at the warehouse party to hang out with the B family.

Sunday was my Grandma's 90th birthday party. We all went to lunch and ate way too much! After the party the boys and I went home to do some cleaning (the house and dog!) and hang out. They had been with "dad" since Friday night and the first thing E said when he came in was "cable!" :) They were happy to go to the restaurant but were eager to get back home too. We just hung out the rest of the night. N had to write a letter of apology to his teacher for suddenly being a terrible listener. This from a lady that adores that child!

Monday N woke up to what he called a sore throat but was really barf...in every bed in our house! I spent my Monday washing sheets, blankets and boys. He felt better later that day and showed it when he decide to woo The Coach's daughter. That boy is in LOVE and isn't afraid to admit it. He raced her boyfriend just to show her he was the better man. It doesn't matter that he is six and she is fifteen...age is just a number. :)

Yesterday was no baseball! I was able to cook dinner and after we went out for ice cream. It was a great night. No one barfed either. Not to mention The Hills started again...thank you trash TV! I explained to Coach that while he may have a fifteen year old daughter, I have the same viewing preferences as one! The Hills, The City, 16 and Pregnant, Real Housewives of OC, The Soup, The Dish, Tosh! I get my fair share of the news too but it just isn't the same!

D is leaving me today for a Mexican vacation and her daughters graduation. So proud...and jealous! WHAT am I going to do until the 11th? Seriously! The Coach and I see each other a lot during the week with baseball and have been spending a lot of the kid free time together too. YIKES! He survived me and DSW so that is saying something! Granted, we don't share a checking account so it is probably a lot easier for him to watch.

I want a Nook!

Happy Friday!

2010-04-16T09:35:00.001-07:00

So our computers are down at work so we are all sitting here watching ourselves get farther behind..LOVELY! :)

Last night E had a game and N's team had snack bar. I scheduled myself for a different day because I knew I would be tied up with E's game. So the parents start showing up and no PTD. He confirmed that he could do it and then doesn't come, doesn't answer his phone and we never hear from him. I wish him all the luck facing N's coach should he ever show up at anything. Needless to say, he was not a happy man! I filled in while we waited for other parents and left E's other team mom to take care of it alone...JERKFACE. Our boys did great, we had some awesome plays and they were having a great time. We are all about the kids having fun, learning and being good sports so we made sure to point out some line-up issues for the other team so they weren't penalized with an out...oh, yeah we did this TWICE! The last inning is tied and it is getting dark. Our kids believed they had gotten two kids out so they were so excited at the last out and started to cheer that we ended in a tie. The other team had also started to leave the field at this point. We corrected the official that we only had two outs and the game should continue. The other team sent the runner that had been on third back out on the field to touch home plate and said "we win" thanks. And that is how our evening ended. Well, ok good luck with that! I really can't relate! Needless to say that coupled with another incident made wine a requirement last night! I thought my head might explode!

Today I get to have sushi with J & N..WOOHOO! Tonight we are going to watch The Coach play ball and let the boys spend some time at the cages...E needs some help. He walks or strikes out most of the time. Coach said he thinks his bat is too short so we will have to take a look at that too...ok whatever! I totally used GOOGLE to tell me what size bat to buy him THANKYOUVERYMUCH! Just because you are a real live person who watches him bat and may or may not have coached kids playing ball for eleventeen years...whatever! :) N is still playing t-ball or coach pitch so it's hard to tell if he needs the extra practice but it can't hurt. I think some dinner and/or ice cream is scheduled in too. :)

Tomorrow both kids have games and then we need to get started on our house. MAJOR work is needed. That place is a disaster. Then we have the fundraiser dinner for the girlies swim team so that should be fun. Nana is considering a sleep over for the little people so we will have to see.

Sunday...MORE CLEANING! And possibly some yard work...FUN!

I hate being sick!

2010-04-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

I have been sick in one way or another for the last three weeks it seems like. First it was a cold a couple of weeks ago that never went away and then seemed to come back two-fold. It is kicking my butt...BIG TIME! I am whiny, sleepy, snotty and cough like a smoker..I am done!

Other than that...it's been baseball and more work nonsense. Poor D is going to lose her mind. Newco SUCKS and the boys aren't doing anything to help the problem. We figured we had three more years left but now we aren't so sure. They would be screwed if she leaves...seriously! These people wouldn't know where to begin. I can't wait for her to leave on her vacation (jealous!) and get some much needed time off. I swore to guard her office so no one makes it worse while she is gone.

So things are moving right along with The Man (now referred to as Coach). I'm S-C-A-R-E-D but dealing with it and trying really hard not to run away. Tonight I dropped the boys off at Awana and came home to get started on the disaster left from E's party this weekend and he came over to fix my fence that has been broken since I moved it. Like just fixed it...no big deal. Are you kidding me? This is what scares me. I don't want to get used to someone fixing things that are broken. Or BBQ'ing steaks while I cook the rest of dinner in the house and then actually eating together...like adults. I have a really hard time just enjoying what is happening and being thankful for it. I should be fine knowing that if something happens I will just go back to being alone. It's not like I will forget how, I just know how hard it will be. UGH! I want to just live in the moment and be happy and not think so much about the later but it isn't who I am. It isn't what experience has taught me. Experience taught me that it will only have one possible outcome and it will suck ass! I am trying to be logical, or I guess a little less logical and just go with it. I mean he has still come over to hang out while I cough up a lung and blow my raw, red nose every 20 seconds. He met the parents and the ladies and they can be a scary bunch! :) I like him and he says that he likes me back and that he was looking for something and is/was ready for it so I guess we will just see what happens. Praying, fingers crossed, wishing on a star.....and anything else I can think of! :)

Speak of the devil...look who's here......

Crazy Weekend!

2010-04-12T09:54:00.001-07:00

Our weekend was non-stop from start to finish! First, I was/am SICK! Stupid cold..you SUCK!

Friday night N had a game and it was nice and sunny out. After the game the boys went home with PTD and The Man and I went and got my new sunglasses! I can finally see again, thank you prescription sunglasses and HSA accounts, and Lenscrafters 1 hour service! After we met up with A & N at a new sushi place for dinner. It was really tasty! A Pinkberry just opened in our area and we decided to give it a try...line out the door...no thank you! We hit up Coldstone instead...I am so in love with dark chocolate ice cream. We were driving from dinner to ice cream and he realized that I was almost out of gas. I generally wait for the light to come on and it usually happens at the worst time and my dad yells at me every time he discovers that I do this and yet, I continue and that is so not the point of the story. He stopped and got me gas - like got out of the car and pumped my gas! It's the little things.

Saturday E had a game and it was bitterly cold. My dad ended up leaving early it was so cold, but not before bringing me a blanket. :) The game was looonnnggg and we got killed! The kids went back home with PDT...who brought them late to the game so E had to sit the first inning and N only had a sweatshirt on! GRRRR!!! After the game I went home to clean and then we went to watch the fights at a friends house...it was fun! I actually like watching them and my girl posse doesn't so much. The food was yummy too.

Sunday E had practice in the morning so I figured I would go to practice and then come home and decorate for his party and still have time to run and get the cake. WRONG! Practice lasted 2 1/2 hours in winds like I have never seen! It looked like a sandstorm with the dirt from the in-field. It started to rain the second we all got in our cars - like it couldn't have started an hour earlier!?! N did get to practice like he was part of the team...that kid was on cloud nine! He even got to bat like all the other kids. It was so adorable. I ended up calling my dad and asking him to go over to my house and start getting stuff ready. My mom wasn't home yet and he was watching the Masters so I got in trouble. HA! :) A & N came and helped too...thank GOD! I had less than an hour to get it all ready. When it was all said and done, we had a great time! 20 kids and lots of adults and some serious storming so we all crammed into my house. We had pizza and cake and snow cones. The snow cones were a big hit! E got lots of cool stuff too. After everyone cleared out a few of us gather the monsters and went to dinner....why not prolong the misery. :) We got home and the boys crashed and I just looked around at the disaster that is my house. I have no idea why I spent hours cleaning - I must like wasting time!

Our week is full - baseball just about every night this week so I have no idea when the cleaning is supposed to happen. Too bad I don't have a maid or a cleaning fairy.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-05T10:37:00.000-07:00

My kids are jerks! They can't seem to function on a weekend morning unless I am up...staring at them. "We are starving, watch cartoons with us, I need to tell you a story". We are talking 6:30 Saturday morning here. Easter morning? Nope! The little brats got up and saw their baskets and decided that they should just sit down and enjoy them...WITHOUT ME! A half hour later E comes in to tell me that N did something and I can HEAR the movie that was in his basket playing in the background. They opened their baskets, got out the movie and were having a candy breakfast. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! By 7:30 in the morning they had used/played with almost everything and nothing was "picture" worthy at that point.

Friday N and I had a great time at lunch and Target...and then ice cream. :) I picked up the boys from PTD's house and we ran to the grocery store before D and the kids came to play. She and I had a wonderful dinner of wine, Twix and potato chips (UGH!) while the kids played. We had such uplifting conversations about divorce...we were FUN people! Actually, we did do our fair share of laughing and I was very glad she came over. I tried to force my opinion on her like any good friend does, right?

Saturday was baseball-o-rama! Got to the park at 8:00 for warm-ups and then E's game. We had a great game and ended it in a tie because we were running so long. My dad came to watch and hang out with N so I could be the "pitch count" mom again. Did I mention it was FREEZING again! GRRR! A grandma on the team did go get us Starbucks so that was awesome. I tried bribing the ump with hot chocolate. Not really, the poor kid was freezing too so it was mostly just a mom thing. After the game, the lovely boys on our team decided that we should have a take down match out on the lawn. Like, let's sweep her feet out from under her and then we can all dog pile on top of her and see how funny that would be. Not to be out done we may have proceeded to do this over and over for the next 45 minutes or so. No dads were jumping in the mix, just me and the other team mom against these beastly nine year olds...punks! We ran to pizza quickly and then E stayed with his coach and a couple other kids while I took N to his game. They came a little later and watched him play too...and he brought not only my child but the other monsters too so we had to call a truce so I could watch the game.

After the game was a whirlwind of egg coloring with my family and with friends. It finally ended around 11:00 on Saturday night. A, N and the kids came over around 8:30 to color them and J stopped by to borrow a dress and we decided that it was time for them to weigh in on The Man so he came to be interrogated by the posse! My impression is that he passed inspection for now...still not sure what that or any of it means but it was a necessary step. They have more of an "approval" requirement than I do with my actual family, outside of my parents of course!

Easter was great! I got to spend it with A's family again. God I miss those people! It was like falling back in time to before the whole jerkface brother thing. I love them like my own family...they are so welcoming to us. My kids get the same as everyone else. It was AWESOME! After we went to my sisters house for lunch and to celebrate my niece's birthday. My family (some) is a little judgemental, ok WAY judgemental. It drives me crazy...seriously people, enough is enough! I quit caring or reacting to it a long time ago and I think they aren't such fans of that but its ok. I love them and they get to be whatever they like and I am going to do the same.

The Man may have come over after we got home and hung out for a while. He got his ass kicked by the kids at Wii boxing. He deserved it for talking smack before they started. The kids just know at this point that we are friends. The contact with them is going to be limited...VERY limited - we don't need anymore attachment issues...ANY OF US! It was fun to hang out....and well, that freaked me out a little. Issues anyone? The plan has gone to hell in a hand basket!

TGIF!

2010-04-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

The babies came home last night from spending time with the Grandparents..WOOHOO! :) N had a game and it was still freezing outside. Baseball = Summer - let's get crackin on the summer part already!

I really loved having the kiddos home last night even if we just came home from the game and hung out. I miss the constant chatter around the house when the are missing. I will admit, I missed The Man a little. We saw each other a lot the last few days with the kids being gone but that was a fluke, but a nice one. I may or may not have spilled my guts the other night about all my man/kid related issues along with my concern over his recent divorce. See why you shouldn't drink wine and talk at the same time! On a side note, I was re-reading my blog and realized that my comment about someone overhearing my crazy was him. He was the "overhearer" of that story. Well, he should have known better! :)

My boss brought me a Starbucks this morning. I've been slightly (EXTREMELY) cranky lately and so I think he is trying to buy my silence. "Here's a Starbucks. Please, just sit in your office and work; close the door if you like." Well, maybe that kind of thing works for me. A raise isn't in my future so I guess I will take what I can get. It's his fault if he comes in to my office and sits down...then my ranting is fair game buddy! G, my other boss called to talk work and then hung up and called back to ask how my mom was doing - dang the guys and their niceness! We also get to leave early today and N and I are going to go have a kid-free lunch and trip to Target. (Yes, I was just there...so what! I also ate lunch yesterday to so suck it!) I need things at Target...NEED them!

Tomorrow our mean, evil coaches decided we should have practice before our early game. They hate sleep and all things warm and comfortable and probably puppies too! They are just mean, mean jerks! Hmm, or maybe they are just a group of really great guys that donate their time to spend with a bunch of little boys and are even willing to give up their own sleep and listen to us whine in the process. They are awesome and we have a blast harassing each other. They with never one-up me and the other team "mom" - we kick ass and give way better than we get. It pays to be sarcastic and quick on your feet! :) N's game is later that afternoon - at a NORMAL hour and then we have two egg coloring parties the rest of the day. I love being fun busy...its fun and it keeps the mind off that which we would rather not yet think about.

Bring it on weekend of Baseball/Easter/Kid having fun!

April Showers...GO AWAY!

2010-04-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is April already!

E turned 9 on Monday! I can't believe my baby is half way to adulthood...UGH! I took the day off to hang out with him and after an eventful morning/afternoon, we went to John's Incredible Pizza with The Man and his boy. We didn't plan it that way but he called as we were leaving and E heard me on the phone and asked if they could come...so they did. He played as much as the kids. :) He did agree to ride the spinner ride with them since N isn't quite tall enough to go alone and that made my tummy very happy! After we played and ate all we could, I took the boys to my parents house for cake and ice cream and the boys were spending the night with Grandma & Grandpa since they are on break and mommy is NOT!

The boys games are in full swing now. E has two this week and N has three. It was FREEZING on Tuesday. After N's game he and the parents sat in the car while they waited for E's game to be over. I didn't even have the shelter of the dugout this time around - I was in the box counting pitches...FUN! I missed all of N's game but without a certain number of parents to help the older division can't play and N has an extra game this week so I will get to focus on him Thursday night.

This week also consisted of a much needed trip to Target to prepare for the upcoming holiday and birthday present shopping. The kids were still with parents so that made it easy. J came over first for a little while so we could play catch up. We normally spend three days a week together but with baseball/softball we hadn't seen each other ALL week! WITHDRAWLS. I filled her in on The Man story. What of the story I understand anyways...(sigh....) and then she went home to hang out with her hub since S is off gallivanting this week too! I figured it would be a good test so I made him go to Target with me. You really don't know a girl until you understand her total devotion to all things Target! If he had whined or rushed or just missed the whole point I probably would have ended it right in the middle of aisle 13! :) We went to dinner after shopping and a group of girls were in the restaurant for a bachelorette party and we laughed and both agreed we wanted to pull that soon-to-be-bride aside and explain to her why she should sell the dress and get the hell out of there FAST! We didn't, of course! I am so not a marriage hater but sometimes you can't help but laugh right?

Tonight is N's game and then both have them on Saturday at different times so I can watch them both..WOOHOO! Friday night D and the kiddos are coming over some play/wine time. Play for them wine for us! Saturday night will be some egg coloring with A and the fam and then off for Easter fun on Sunday. I have lots of house cleaning to do in between...wonder how that is going to go?

We survived!

2010-03-28T20:02:00.000-07:00

Oh this weekend was crazy...but so amazing! :)

Friday night we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get both boys floats finished for the parade the next day. It was pretty late in the evening when we finished but it was fun and the boys were so excited for the next day. We went to bed a little late but they were up and ready to go first thing in the morning.

Saturday we were out of the house by 7:15 to drop N off with his team and then get E and I over to his. I had to ride in the float with E's team and we (the "big kids") had as much, if not more fun than the little kids. N's float ended up winning the best for his group and he got a medal. E's didn't but that's ok - he has won twice before. We then went directly to the fields for opening ceremonies...wrapped those up and then a bunch of us from E's team went out for pizza before we had to get back for our games. Both boys had to be back at the field at the same time so it worked out.

The games were good! N got to be catcher and he looked adorable buried in all that gear. E was part of a triple play and was so excited. E's team lost and some people were just stupid but our team didn't seem to care.

The weather was amazing! Everything wrapped up around 6 - about two hours later than we thought and the boys went home to spend the night with PTD. I went out on a real live date...with a man. An actual date that was not with A, N, D or J. We had a great time. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he loved sushi - he just doesn't seem to be the type..guess I was wrong. So we went to a sushi restaurant I had never been to and it was really good. Yummy food and wine and nice conversation...that's all I am going to say about that. :) I'm still, if not more, freaked out about the whole thing. A told me to get the hell out of my own head and just get on with it already. I'm an over thinker...WAY over and she knows it. She kindly, in her very special way, dismissed all my "problems" as lame. :) MK kinda did the same thing on the phone Friday when she and I talked. Who knows...I guess we will just see what happens....YIKES!

Tomorrow my baby is 9! This day was way more relaxing than my day 9 years ago! :) We had baseball pictures, trip to Target and Petsmart and lunch with me and the boys. No labor pains in site. I am off tomorrow so we can spend the day together and then have dinner at my parents. I love you E!

Confusion at its best!

2010-03-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not even sure I want to write this one down. Do I want it as part of my "whine-less" history? Or is it something that I will later look back on and wonder why I ever put it out into the world let alone outside of my own head? I guess that is why they have the delete button? I sometimes wish life had a delete button. It would make decision so much easier if you could delete and try again.

I met someone...I think? Honestly, I am freaking out. I am so trying to play it cool, like it doesn't matter either way. Whatever happens is fine...right? He is such a nice guy but his decision to divorce is recent. I remember that haze that consumed me for so long after my marriage catastrophe, I couldn't figure out what to eat or how to function without crying, making any good decision was out of the question. I'm still not sure how we survived as well as we did (man, that all feels like such a lifetime ago). How could he be ready at this stage of the game? I'm the rebound girl right? And since I keep telling myself that over and over then I should be ok with it being reality right? None of our kids are involved and we both agreed that it will remain that way; I am steadfast on that issue! This came as a total, out-of-the-blue shock to me (and I think it was for him too - I am pretty certain he wasn't set out on a plan). Nothing I ever saw coming and nothing I am prepared to handle. I had convinced myself that I would be solo until after the kids were all grown up and out of the house. The funny thing is, that could still totally be the case. This whole thing is VERY new and yet it totally confused my plan...what if? What if it was to be something more? His reasons for divorce are way different than mine so maybe that makes it different? Or maybe because he is a guy he processes the whole thing faster than I did? Or maybe it is exactly like me and this really is just a get me through this moment "relationship"? Mostly my problem is why I even consider the possibility that it is something more than a simple fling and why, if I am totally convinced that I will be alone for the next 10 years, do I suddenly let myself even consider the possibilities, let it matter...even considering wanting it? I should take it for what it is and leave the rest alone. Why do I have to consider the possibilities? Or want possibilities? Or think there are possibilities? WHY, WHY, WHY!

Circumstances allow us to see each other often without repercussions or issues and so we have spent a lot of time together recently and it is nice. I have an adult to talk to, one who gets the single parent thing, one who seems genuinely interested in listening to me whine about whatever, someone that doesn't care that my go to place is sarcasm - LOTS of it! I miss that. And even just a hug...man that is nice! And when it is gone again will I have trouble readjusting or will I be able to just brush it off and go on like nothing changed? I have done it this long alone so it will be easy to go right back too it? Is it even worth the risk or easier to just leave it alone and go back to being happy with my kids, friends, family, shopping and wine? My fight or flight instinct is telling me that flight is the best option but part of me REALLY doesn't want to do that. So now what? I seem to have lost my how-to manual, and apparently my convictions as well! It's that last part that irritates me...damn it! I am stronger than this whole "feeling" business. I don't have grown-up feelings any more. I have work feelings, friend feelings and mom feelings...that was supposed to be it! I thought I rid myself of girl feelings or at least buried them so deep they would take about 10 year to surface. I want to make it all go away and then I really so don't!

All sorts of random! I got lost...

2010-03-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

Lost in the sea of baseball practice! :) Things have been so crazy for us lately. We have been living at the fields five to six times a week for practice and the last week we added in float building to really send me over the edge! Two floats, two schedules, a new after school program for the kids, way too much actual work...I need a vacation/nap/dark place to hide!

The kids are having a great time. They were selected to participate in a new program at school - MESA it seems like a great opportunity for them. They both totally love baseball and have great coaches. Opening day is this weekend so we have a parade, opening ceremonies and both boys have games...not to mention the eleventeen other family and friends that all play that also have games the same day.

In between all this fun, we have had some real fun. A & N and J & I (we girl date each other when her husband lets us) went to see Alice In Wonderland for N's birthday..FUN! Went out for drinks (too many) one night and had a BLAST! N's birthday bash was at our house this weekend and we had a great time. Some of the kids spent the night with me and the other luckies (A, the birthday girl and J) skipped out and left me with the kids...and I call these girls my friends! :) E had an early morning practice on Sunday so I took all five of them to the donut shop for breakfast and we brought enough for the whole team..those dang boys took down 3 dozen donuts! The gym has been cut for the list until this float/6 day a week practice schedule slows down...hopefully next week (see donuts, party and lots of drinks). PLEASE!

We all got sick but survived. I painted my office finally and LOVE it! After painting a wall with 10 different colors I finally just made a damn decision and painted the room and the cabinet our computer/mail/junk/office supplies resides in. I painted it with chalkboard paint so now we can write messages to each other or reminders. The kids thought it was great. Got my backyard furnished just in time for the party...thankfully.

Both the boys got awesome report cards! Our house looks like it may have been ransacked by a gang of thieves...unfortunately, they aren't taking anything, just leaving a bigger mess each day. I am hoping Sunday we can get that mess under control. Although, I am really planning on making it to team pictures and then right back to my bed after this week. I want my PJ's and my weeks of Tivo, maybe some wine and chocolate to go with it? :)

TGIF!

2010-03-05T10:27:00.001-08:00

OMG, I can't do it today. I can't focus, my brain is broken. I knew this would happen. My "distraction" at work isn't here today so I just knew I would come in and get all sorts of work done and I'm not getting ANY...FUCK!! The damn A/C is on...are you kidding me! I have on a t-shirt, sweater and G's sweatshirt and I am still going to DIE! It wasn't this cold sitting outside on the concrete slab waiting for E's practice to end. WTF? Is my frostbite going to be good for a WC claim?

Tonight N has his first practice and then we plan on getting dinner and watching Where the Wild Things Are and tomorrow they both have it and then we are off to my parents for dinner and play time and a possible kid sleepover (crossing fingers and praying!). Sunday might be a trip to John's Incredible Pizza because I love torture..it's my fav! Or maybe it's because N won a certificate at school and he just can't wait! Last night at E's practice I made a joke with a guy that lived next door to the married us knew PTD is a loser. Someone whom I don't know very well heard me and now probably thinks I am crazy...I guess my secret is out! Oh well, maybe he will feel sorry for E since he has a crazy mother and give him the position he wants. Aren't I a great mom? I use my crazy to benefit my kid...lovely! :) Good thing N's coach and wife are friends and already know my brand of crazy. Thank you!

I am feeling lots of ?!##?$#$ today. I have no focus, no direction, a GIGANTIC need to play, to shop to make a mess, to get a pedicure, to have wine and chocolate and some hot man! I want to watch movies and dance and scream and sing badly (the only way I can!) and run around. I want to be silly and obnoxious (I already have that part down!). I want to people watch and laugh. Generally this kind of behavior (minus the hot man) requires that I hang out with A, N, D and/or J - they get it! I should say the get it and then we make inside jokes for the rest of our lives and then we make fun of each other FOREVER after. And sometimes it also involve vodka! :) Yeah, I need me some of that girl time ASAP and then maybe the hot random stranger can come over and take charge and then leave - no need to stick around buddy (HA!). Ok, yes that so sounds like a plan - how do I make that happen?

Rain, Rain Go Away...Wait!

2010-03-03T08:31:00.001-08:00

Ok, I am so over this rain but it did get us out of baseball practice and allowed us one night at home. We had Mickey Mouse pancakes for dinner, sang along to a million music videos, played war (N cheated AGAIN!), played go fish, the boys swam around in my bath tub, I had wine (YIPPEE!) and we snuggled in my bed with WallE before bed. It was so awesome! I snuck in some laundry and dishes but nothing bigger than that. I didn't work, I only talked on the phone with my parents...it was like a dream (wow, I am lame!).

Too bad the night is over and it is still raining!

March...my scheduled nightmare!

2010-03-02T13:55:00.000-08:00

Monday - Gym
Tuesday - Baseball practice for the E
Wednesday - Gym for me, Awana for the little people
Thursday - Baseball practice for E...again
Friday - Baseball practice for N
Saturday - 7:45 practice for E and 2:00 practice for N (Sure, I don't need my Saturday!)

Let's figure out when to schedule in my M-F job, homework, laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, sleeping, school functions, parade float building, and not to mention 7 birthday parties including my own kid. That would be seven in just one month! Thinking about it all is making me nervous. I can live without the sleeping but the rest of it really isn't optional. The boys both ended up on great teams this year so that is going to be awesome. The problem is they are on different teams, different age groups but some of the games will overlap and I have to figure out how to be at both at the same time. Last year I could sit in between the two fields and watch them simultaneously. This year I can't do that - no good! We don't even have the game schedule yet but I feel like I need to get some plan in place..pronto! I spent Sunday afternoon shopping and packing my car for the season - Lots of Gatorade, sunflower seeds, sunblock, chairs, bug spray, kid gear, my practice glove...YIKES! My plan does not, in any way, shape or form, count on PTD to assist. He doesn't typically feel that being regularly involved is required. Once we get into the swing of things I am sure it will be fine but I am a panicking a little. I have to be able to have some time to work from home - I can't get my job done in the 8+ hours I am at work, I have an actual house to take care of instead of our little apartment and WallE is not a fan of being home alone at night. E isn't sure what he wants to do for his birthday this year and Easter is right around the corner too.

If I survive this with two happy kids, still employed, with a house that hasn't burned to the ground and a runaway dog, come June, I am going to take a day off! Sit around my house in my PJ's and drink wine all day. Lots of wine, chocolate and cheese! All day...alone! (I would prefer this be on a tropical island with a nice, hot native but I will settle for the above instead.) I need a nap just thinking about it. No time in the schedule for a nap...I'll add that to the list of things to do in June. :)

And it isn't over yet...

2010-02-28T09:07:00.000-08:00

Weekends like this make it so easy to be happy! :) Friday night D and I went out for our typical Margarita Madness. It was anything but typical. She's had a rough week so we laughed extra, gossiped extra and a few other things that will remain nameless to protect the innocent (not that I actually know anyone that is innocent that can read this!).

Saturday morning A, N and I decided to go to Target. OMG! Target is like a second home for me but nothing beats Target Fashion 2010! We had been in Target over an hour and had yet to get one thing we needed. We decided a fashion show of the worst kind was in order. I LOVE Target clothes..a large portion of my wardrobe, as well as the boys, comes from Target. Yesterday was not about those kinds of clothes...you know the ones I am talking about. Pictures were taken, laughs were had and should The Lion King ever die, I found the perfect dress to wear to his funeral. Then we decided to take a break and have a snack and then we shopped. People, we were in Target for 3 hours! N and I almost had an accident in the aisle...thank goodness the bathroom was close and she didn't feel anymore compelled to stop our mad dash to talk to loser and his hoe...(well, that wasn't very nice...). A had to go too but since she is related to him she did have to stop and talk. Ironically, neither of them felt compelled to chat with me? I just can't imagine why? Damn the bad luck! The fun was then re-instated in the day and we hit Ulta, Barnes & Noble (YEAH! NEW BOOKS), Best Buy (FOUND MY MOVIES!), Bevmo (LOVE YOU 5 cent sale!) and Raley's. I happened to forgot everything I needed to buy..HA! We had some yum Chinese food, relaxed in the parents hot tub and then came back to my house for some Mario Bros, vodka, bad TV and lots and lots of laughs. We harassed J's poor husband via phone, cursed at the stupid game, re-named people on Bad Girls Club..OMG, ever realize the person that irritates you most on TV is someone you actually know in real life..ha! We made some cryptic and inebriated Facebook postings, watched SNL and crashed. Um, I think I wish to marry Seth Meyers? That guy is so funny and I find him to be HOT!

Today my dad is coming over to hang out with me and the boys for a little while and then we need to go get the things we actually needed yesterday and since the sun is shining so nicely in the sky maybe WallE needs a walk around the block and perhaps we should wash our dirt car...wonder if it will fall apart when we do? Hurry up and bring my babies home so we can get this party started!

Kiddo Weekend

2010-02-21T18:04:00.000-08:00

I spent the entire weekend with my babies...we never left each other...not for a moment. :)

Friday night I picked them up from PTD, right in the middle of some conflict. Loser decided to buy his way out of N's anger and promptly left E as a second thought. Well, that so wasn't ok! So, I made the situation even and E seemed to realize it for the first time. He said "Thanks mom!" We hit up Target on our way home and then just hung out around the house...together!

Saturday we cleaned, worked on the science project, gave WallE a bath and ran some errands. Then we got to head over to A's house for some baby snuggles! Oh baby L is sooo cute! His pudgy little face, and he is so animated for being only a few days old. Still, I don't wish to have my own. I wish (all the time) to borrow the babies of others and love them, squish them, snuggle them and then happily return them to their rightful owners. I think if it hadn't been such a surprise that I would be raising the boys alone maybe I would feel differently. There were times in the beginning when they were both so small that I was terrified I couldn't do it. I remember one week when they were both so very ill. N was almost 3 and E wasn't yet 5. They were so very sick - like missed FIVE days of work sick. They both had multiple trips to the doctor and several prescriptions and if we needed anything, even just more juice I had to drag them both out to the store and it sucked! We never slept and I was scared. My babies were burning with fevers, crying and overall sad and I had no one to hold them so I could go to the bathroom or get one of them something. I think I don't want to do that again. We survived and thrived but still.... ANYWAYS...detouring back to the good stuff! That baby is dang cute. Made me want to go still baby L and baby N and have a big baby fest! :) We came home and did some more hanging out together.

This morning they woke me up at 6:30! Children...what is wrong with you? Didn't we buy donuts at the store so you wouldn't need me to make breakfast before the sun comes up? Oh well, we got crackin on the rest of the house work, including cleaning the toy room - YUCK! Washed all the sheets and blankets and then made some dinner. E is finishing up some stuff for his science project and then they both need some serious scrubbing and bed!

I love my kid weekends. :)

Gym and some Friday Fun!

2010-02-19T11:26:00.000-08:00

I am so glad it is FRIDAY! :)

Last night J and I hit the gym as usual except...we had a plan! :) Typically we do 50 minutes of various cardio, a little stretching, some abs and then we punk out. Last night we wrangled the help of Old Friend for some cheap (free) personal training. Poor guy; we are such girls! I hate being in the manly-man section of the gym. The jerkfaces typically don't venture far into chick infested cardio land so we are safe...until last night. We infiltrated the entire man section of that gym. We got dirty looks, grunts and the once over...more than once. I figure no one actually said anything to us since we had "one of them" with us. We kicked ass! Ok, well for us we did. :) While I totally appreciated the much needed and required assistance, if he helpfully re-instructed me on my improper form one more time last night I think I might have been very tempted to throw the weight at his head. I totally get that bad form can get you hurt and means you have to work harder to get the same result if you just did it right but damn you, it was our first time and I hate having to look in the mirror and the fact that two other people are just standing around STARING at you while you do it did not help! Nor did it make me not do the same thing to J when it was her turn. :) Good thing I don't whine overly much right...HA!

ANYWAY, we got our new moves down (2 hours later!) and figured our new workout. We will cut our cardio down - 10 on the bike to warm up, 10 minutes to stretch, 30 - 40 minutes to work our "area of the day", 30 minutes on the I-WISH-YOU-WOULD-DIE elliptical machine and then abs. The good news - we will be healthy in no time...the bad news? Baseball/Softball starts in a week so we are screwed. Workouts, as well as life in general, goes to hell. Hopefully, I will still get in two days a week (not sure how since I spend 4 at the field) but I will figure something out. I am really excited about the new plan. I am a little concerned that my arms don't hurt today. I figure I will wake up tomorrow and my arms will have just fallen off like SpongeBob...I guess then I won't have to worry about arm day at the gym?

Tonight the boys and I are just hanging out at home..probably grab some dinner and maybe watch a movie or something? Tomorrow S comes over to spend the afternoon with us and work on the science fair project. No idea what Saturday evening might (or might not) bring. Sunday should be relaxation...PLEASE! :)

MONDAY MY PARENTS COME HOME! WOOHOO, Who takes an eight week vacation people? I don't care about your retirement status...get your asses home! I need a hug and some dinner!

Today...

2010-02-17T15:55:00.000-08:00

Today has not been a good day. :(

While I was getting ready this morning I got a txt message. The only person willing to txt me that early in the morning is D and it is typically a plea for Starbucks..a plea I am always willing to answer. Today it D but it was not for Starbucks. She was letting me know her beloved Mother passed away. :( D always talks about her mom. You always knew they were close and I know she was also very close with her grandchildren J & M and they all loved her very much. D's mom recently celebrated her 90th birthday. D and her family had planned a HUGE surprise party for her mom. We laughed that it shouldn't be a surprise because who should yell at a 90 year old woman! D came back from the trip with great stories and you could tell she loved getting to see her mom with the entire family. I am sorry for her and for the kids. I am grateful that M was able to fly out with her today so she wasn't alone. I am sad that J has to fly from school alone and I hope that she is ok. I know that D will miss her mom terribly but I also know that she always seems to have the most amazing faith of anyone I know...well, maybe only second to her daughter J. :) I will miss her until she comes back and work to make her laugh her ass off when she does. I also hope she knows that she is an awesome daughter, friend and mother!

Today my sister and everyone she works with lost their jobs. We knew it was a possibility but it had been delayed so many times we thought a miracle might be in the works. No such luck. My boss pulled me out of my marathon meeting this morning to give me a heads up before I saw her (we work for different but connected companies and in the same office suite). We took a quick 10 minute break and I went over to check on her. She is holding her own for now, but how scary in this market to be without a prospect. Luckily, she is VERY good at what she does and has a great reputation in the industry.

I was in a meeting from 8:30 this morning until 3:30 today with a quick break and a chance to run out for something to eat and then right back in the frigid conference room. While my work piled up and I listened to everyone complain...over and over again, all I could think of was that I got to talk to my parents last night and I know they are on their way home soon and that with the amount of work on my desk my boss can't fire me for at least eleventeen million years. I hugged and cried with D before she left and checked on my sister a couple of times but other than that, I am helpless to change anything for any of them.

Tonight I will spend some time with my BFF's just hanging out while the kids are at Awana and then I will go back and get them and snuggle them to pieces for the rest of the night. I love you all - A, N, J, D (and J) and even my sister who does not read this.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

I love you long weekend! :)

2010-02-15T20:17:00.000-08:00

I can't believe these three glorious days off are already over! Friday night we went and watched the Skrewed show On the Y...great show! This was my second time seeing the band and they were awesome. We didn't hang around for the other bands and that was totally ok.

Oh Saturday...I still can't believe it! I NEVER got dressed, or showered, or productive in any fashion. I watched TV, ate a little and then proceeded to spend my afternoon watching movies. Doubt - good, Made of Honor - over cheese, Couple's Retreat - cute, Obsessed - decent! I went to bed early and loved every second of it!

Sunday was busy. Nana came and brought the boys and I a little Valentine treat, I finally did my yard work, J and N brought me the BEST present ever...OH, THANK YOU! That night the boys and I took my grandma out to dinner. After, we just hung out at home. Happy Valentine's Day!

Today N watched the boys while J and I went to see Dear John...oh, that movie made me cry. J secretly laughed at me. :) Even after I bought her popcorn! We ran to Target and then home to check out the damage. N had mentioned ONCE something about a donut party and my lovely children never forgot...so, N took them out to donuts. He bought them a whole box. E told me that he thought N was the funnest guy EVER! Even if he didn't let him play an M game on the x-box. Good job N! Apparently, they weren't too bad. :) We decided that we should all go to dinner later so we did. I came home first and cleaned house - we seriously needed some mopping and vacuuming around this place. Then we met the B's for dinner. N ate something gross and tried to convince us to try it...NO THANKS! :) The boys and I came home to hang out and finish some laundry...oh what fun!

I really wish I didn't have to go to work. The kids have all week off...lucky little ducks!

Why?

2010-02-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

Someone saw my leg tattoo for the first time yesterday and asked me, skeptically, if I really liked it? Why did you get it? How old were you? It was almost like they thought of it like some kind of mistake, a defect, a sign of my crazy perhaps?

First and foremost, I LOVE IT! I will always love! It might be silly to consider a tattoo as having "meaning". It isn't a name, it isn't a love...its a ME! A went with me a many number of years ago to get it. It took several hours of having my ass slightly exposed to this creepy guy that wouldn't go away. My artists did a good job of keeping me blocked and eventually told the guy to go away. It HURT! I was emerging from devastation, I was learning to be me, moving on, moving up, changing, struggling, coping...I could go on and on about the emotions of that time. Some of them still challenge me. My dragon leg (that's what A and I called it) was my kick-ass symbol. My "no matter what you will keep moving" and the next time someone gets in your way you can kick them with your dragon leg! It reminds me to be fierce, to not back down, to not give in to the fight. This sounds very melodramatic, even to me, but it is what it is.

I wasn't a young kid when I got it, I wasn't drunk. I didn't walk in and pick it out of a catalog. I searched for just the right one. I decided I wanted it to be dramatic and all black...nothing frilly and girly about it. Sometimes I forget it is there and I will catch it in the mirror when I am getting ready in the morning and I remember what is it.

Thankfully it isn't for anyone else. No one has to love it, understand it, want to look at it. Good thing too because again, it was almost like I was suddenly deformed. Suck it! That dragon and me are in it for life. When I am 85 and he and I are a wrinkly mess I will still remember what its for. Some people may not need a reminder but I like to have one. One that is just mine...one that will never leave...my constant reminder to kick ass and to hell with the names!

Well....that was Valentine's Day worthy! :)

Bribe? Chocolate?

2010-02-11T15:56:00.000-08:00

My boss brought me a salted caramel chocolate cake today from Freeport Bakery. I shared, I didn't want to. I was DELICIOUS! Here is a picture of the before. The after is going home with me tonight to be enjoyed by the little people and I...after the gym of course!

I have no idea why he brought me the cake? He brought D a strawberry thing (mine was better!). I think it was a bribe of some kind...what for I am not sure. I wanted to ask but I thought it might change the way the cake tasted so instead I am pretending it was just because. :)

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

2010-02-11T15:16:00.000-08:00

I am so looking forward to this long holiday weekend. We aren't going anywhere or doing anything and that is the best part of the plan! :)

This week has been pretty quick. Monday night we just hung out at home and tried to recover from this weekend. N got us an Amelia Bedeila book from the library because he knows his mommy loves those books. He is such a doll. We read the book by the fire and he got bored pretty early on. His favorite part? One of the other characters in the book was Dr. Dinglebat and he thought that was AWESOME!

Tuesday I took the boys out to get new baseball cleats and Valentine's Day cards for school. Sports Authority always has a good selection of kid cleats and they both found pairs they liked (different, of course) and they were both on sale..WOOHOO! However, even on sale they were $60+ for both...some sale. I picked up a shoe that was $100 and little Mr. E said "Mom, you are not going to buy a shoe that costs $100...that's crazy!" Excuse me? What just happened? No, I wasn't going to buy the shoe but dang it 8 year-old, I would if I wanted too and in every dang color. I almost made him get cheap $10 girl soccer cleats for that comment. We strolled around Target and picked out cards and a few other items and then went to good old McDonald's for dinner.

Wednesday the boys had Awana so I hung out at home and started to watch a movie with Old Friend. It was NOT a funny movie, even if the title said it would be. J picked me up around 7:30ish and we went to get the kiddos. The ice cream place was closed and the kids had gotten cupcakes so we just left it at that. Until I got home and decided it would be a good time to make cookies. It was, and they were good. :)

Thursday is gym night...yippeee, whatever! Tomorrow is glorious, wonderful, magical Friday! Other than watching J's husbands band play Friday night I have no plans. Nothing, Nada. Sleep, lots of sleep and perhaps some much needed house cleaning.

I need a nap....

2010-02-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

This weekend was start to finish crazy! I had to come to work to rest. :)

Friday night the monkeys spent the night at A's house and I went to dinner with Old Friend. We had to wait for our table so randomly wandered around Barnes and Noble for a while. He looks at weird boy stuff and was way too happy about a car magazine! :) Oh well, to each their own..as long as I don't have to read it.

Saturday morning we raced around to get ready for a family kid picture that happened very last minute (or at least last minute for our house). Then it was home to hunt for birth certificates and then off to spend $200 at little league sign ups for the boys. Ran into lots of people I haven't seen in a while. Hung out and had pizza with the friends, babies and kids and then we ran over to the grocery store for some serious junk food shopping. E's friend T was spending the night with us and came home straight from sign ups with us and then A & H came over later that evening and they all stayed the night. They ate and played and acted a fool until 2:00 in the morning and then at 8:00 decided they were going to STARVE if I didn't get up and make breakfast. People, you just went to sleep, how can you be up and hungry already! They were, so I did. :) T went home around 12:30ish and A & N came over to hang out and watch the big game (only the hate football and so they pretended). A made me some of her most wonderful potato salad. J and S came over a little while later so the kids could get crackin on the science fair project. They felt their board needed some design features to go with the scientific information so my house is now officially glittered!

Its funny, I lived with six children from 3:00 Saturday until 7:00 last night and the glitter is the smallest mess in the house. My house is THRASHED! Like we should just move thrashed. :) Nana D randomly stopped by for the first time last night and got to tour my house in a total natural disaster sort of way. WallE and his sensitive tummy ate spilled Cheese It's, sour cream and onion chips, pancakes and a large amount of onion dip...GOOD TIMES!

No one wanted to get up this morning, I have no idea when my house will ever recover, I need to sleep for a week and I can't believe it isn't Friday yet! Oh, long week here we come!

Weekend Update

2010-02-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

My weekend was great! Lots of friends, drinks and a whole host of other stuff but mostly just
F-U-N! But I am tired and don't want to be more specific. :)

Oh Friday...how I have longed for you this week...

2010-01-29T14:07:00.001-08:00

This has been one of the longest weeks ever! It started with my lack of sleep weekend and turned into a barfing 8 year old by Monday night. He was off and on sick until Wednesday night. Poor baby, poor me, poor washing machine! All is better now with the exception of a little more laundry!

Last night we made it to the gym finally and I took out me weeks worth of aggression in an hour and a half. I felt much better when I was finished. I sometimes forget how helpful that can really be. I told J that I was tired of whining ALL THE TIME about work, home, kids, life...blah, blah, blah. Like any of it is really that bad. It seems like it to me but I totally get that I am just being a big baby! Most of my current frustrations are work related but that is no earth shattering news. It has been and will continue to be work for a long time....so suck it up and quit whining already! Yesterday I had the most random meeting with a guy from NY. I still have no idea why he came or why he couldn't seem to stay awake? We also had some sad news from our NY office. I don't understand the logic some people use - or I guess maybe they don't actually use logic?

Tonight is Margarita night with D and her daughter. (I am working on throwing in a trip to The Rack after...D is saying no but I bet money I can convince her daughter...easily! :) After that who knows! Saturday I really hope involves some serious sleeping in before errand running and a 1st birthday party for my nephew and a kick-ass party for J's husband! Oh how I have been looking forward to this party. Lots of us girls are going to be there and we plan to over indulge a bit (well, I know I do!) so a possible cab company phone number might be needed. As long as the rain stays away I might actual get some yard work done on Sunday...maybe!?!

Can I say that I adore Pandora radio! On my BlackBerry and on my office computer. It is so much better than most of the available radio stations.

Better late than never?

2010-01-25T20:09:00.000-08:00

My weekend wasn't complete until this afternoon so I wanted to wait before I got it all out. Yes, I still had to work today but that is nothing special.

Friday night the boys and I did come home and have dinner and do laundry but then we decided Target and some Big Spoon should be added to the nights festivities so we did. :) That was about it too.

Saturday was sleep-in day. Or it was going to be. I woke up at 7:00 to an eight year old sitting on my head explaining to me that it was indeed 7:00 and he might starve to death. I convinced him, or rather the dog did, that we should spend some time in bed first. He lounged with me for about a half hour and then was done with that nonsense. :) Up we got, N got up soon after and our day got underway. I cleaned and they played...typical! Later that night they went to spend the night with A and had way lots of fun! I went out with Old Friend to dinner and a movie. We had some tasty sushi, a quick trip to Starbucks and then off to see Avatar in 3D at the IMAX theater. The movie was much more than I expected and I really loved it. I am glad our seats were in the back...too close would have been bad. The movie was LATE! It was going to start at 10:30 (still way late) but we didn't even get into the theater until after 10:30. One of the best parts of the evening? Watching the crazy girls hitting the clubs wearing NOTHING! Are you kidding me? It was freezing and these were skinny bitches! I had jeans, boots, a sweater and jacket complete with scarf and I was still cold...I have some substantial insulation people! These hoecakes forgot pants for crying out loud. Well, clearly I have been doing it wrong - if that is what it takes I am waving the white flag...NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! :) We hit Taco Bell on the way home - hello cinnamon twists (wonder where all that insulation comes from?)! At that point it was almost 3:00 in the morning. He left and I checked my messages. BAD NEWS! I waited to make sure he got home ok and then tried to sleep - at this point it is almost 4:00 in the morning and I now had to be up a 6:00.

My new six-week old nephew was going to have surgery. He had a tummy issue and they needed to fix it ASAP. That would be Sunday morning by 8:00. I wanted to snuggle him before hand and be there for my sister and her family so I got up two hours later and threw on some clothes, brushed my teeth and my hair (sort of) and was out the door. It was a tough day all around, even if I had slept. I txt'd A to make sure the boys were good for the morning and she ended up keeping them most of the day so I could take a short nap after the hospital (THANK YOU!). Baby N came out of surgery like a champ! I stayed until he was fully awake and had a bottle before I left around 2:00 that afternoon. I came home slept for a couple hours and then the babies came home. We hung out the rest of the evening while I waited for confirmation that they had released the baby and all was well. Instead I got a call that he was throwing up again and they were staying. Hence the delay. This afternoon he was released and all is fine..WOOHOO, Thank GOD!

Sadly, I am so ready for it to be Friday already.

Nothing to see here....

2010-01-22T16:15:00.000-08:00

I have nothing real to add, I just don't want to look at my work rant anymore. It's Friday and I get my babies soon. They went to school today looking silly. It was mis-match day and those kids go all out! Tonight is hanging out at home and maybe doing some laundry. Doesn't that just sound like a Friday night to end all Friday nights. Hopefully the rest of the weekend will be more entertaining. If not, Sunday will still have games on! :)

My sister did have to leave work early today because her granddaughter, my baby niece M (whom I LOVE to pieces) shoved something up her nose and got sick. I think she barfed because she freaked out (and so did her mom) because they couldn't get it out. She is fine now and had to go get it sucked out of her nose. What was it you ask? Pieces of her diaper. HA! And people wonder why I don't feel the need to have more kids. I would still take that one in a heart beat. She rocks my world.

TGIF!

Work, work, work!

2010-01-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

I wanted to savor my weekend post for days to come but I can't seem to let this day go so maybe getting it out of my head will help me stop replaying the whole thing over and over and over again!

So we have been working on this new division at work for a LONG TIME! Originally the plan was to hire some one to do it. That plan changed to me and one of the big three working on it together. I knew this would be tough since my original job is more than enough for me but I have experience in the new area and thought it would be pretty short term. Plus,the boss man was going to cover the out of office stuff so I could be in most of the time. We played this back and forth for several months. Newco continues to believe that the new division is my sole job even if I have stressed several times that is not. I thought me and the boss man(s) were on the same page. Wake up call! I feel like I got hung out to dry today. :( Not only does Newco think I was avoiding my responsibilities as it relates to this new division (including the MAIN MAN!) but it was officially assigned to me today...THE ENTIRE THING!

I try very hard to do a good job, I may not always succeed but I am sincere. My original position has suffered greatly with even the partial addition of the new job and I can't even begin to understand what will happen next. It is clear after today that both organizations believe that both positions are to be handled by me. I can feel the panic of failure as I type this. I will try so very hard but I know, at the end of the day,both jobs will suffer and I will ultimately not reach the goals that have been set for me. It will be a direct reflection on ME!

With the continued increased cost of living and the sporadic payments of PDT I have seriously considered a part-time job for the weekends that the boys are with their dad. I have been looking for some type of call center job in the same field I currently work. Most are 24-hour so I should be able to work most of the weekend while they are gone. Now, I will need to work even more extra time at my current job to hold off being fired as long as possible. The problem? I have a salary position so no over time pay is provided and I am not getting any change in my current pay for this second job. I am freaking out! I not only have no back up plan, no cushy savings account and no second income from a spouse but I will likely be FIRED from both divisions at the same time! From what I know about Newco I have a few months....and then I am done (Ironically, I am pretty sure my replacements will be hired in the next few weeks under a different umbrella for now.)! My outgoing expenses will not change so what to do? Well, on the way home tonight I cried...OVER A JOB! Are you kidding me...who does that? It was less about the job and more about the consequences I am about to face. I have two babies that count on me and only me. Loser rented out their room this weekend and got rid of what little toys they had. They now have a couch and some things in the living room. I find that totally unacceptable and planned to come down hard on loser should he ever return my call...looks like I might be joining him instead.

Hmmm, getting it out really didn't help...just made it more real! I am so not above "would you like fries with that?" I know the rumor is God will not give you more than you can handle but God didn't throw this at me...my employer did and I don't think they subscribe to the same philosophy.

Well that was perfectly whine-o-rific...Yeah, me!

Weekend Update (A day late!)

2010-01-18T15:26:00.001-08:00

I had an awesome weekend!

Friday night D and I went for margaritas after work...it had been far too long. We say a lot of things in the office but some things are just better said over a basket of chips and salsa and a yummy, salty drink. After that I went home and hung out with WallE before an old friend stopped by. I haven't seen him in over a year and the last time I did he was in the hospital after a terrible car accident. He is all better now and we spent a couple of hours catching up.

Saturday morning J and I went to Target, lunch, Home Depot, pedicures, cop chasing (HA! Such a bad idea but we had to know what was going on!) and then to visit her husband for a second. I got a black sparkly polish and she did a sparkly pink..then she says "Look, I am Glenda the good witch and you are the wicked witch of the west!" Hmmm, and I am friends with this girl...what am I thinking. And this after she bossed me around with the cart at Home Depot. :) I went home and cleaned the house a little and painted my wall with four different colors...I still can't decide which one to use yet? Then the gang came over for some cocktails. A & J came (always) and with them A's step son and her cousin who is home from college. I haven't seen him in a long time so it was nice to harass him for a while. Old friend came back over too with another guy. We (I) had lots of wine, made a random early morning trip to Taco Bell (I did not drive) and stayed up until 3:30 in the morning...WHAT! :)

Sunday we rolled out of bed at 8:00 - I have NO IDEA WHY? A & J and the cousin and son stayed the night so we crashed all over the house. I made us frappes with the new toy...YUM and then everyone left around 10:00. The babies came home at 11:00 with some fresh loser news...FUN! After we headed to A's for a party with some other friends, took the boys for hair cuts, ran an errand for my now out of town father and then came home to make dinner so DC and the kids could come over and we could catch up. Baby L fell asleep and I got to snuggle him on the couch forever..so cute! Then they headed off to home and I crawled into my snuggly soft bed with WallE and crashed around 10:00. I love you bed!

While I loved all the activities of the weekend..my favorite part? Having so many awesome friends. I love them all dearly and have so much fun. We laugh a lot, make fun of each other, have the most inappropriate conversations EVER! At the end of the day, I know I could call any of them with my troubles and they would be there at a moments notice. I would do the same for them...not even a second thought! I was missing a few of my favorite people this weekend but it was still extraordinary fun doing ordinary things. :)

WORK SUCKS today and I hate PTD for being an idiot but since my weekend was so lovely I am not going to ruin my good memories with talk of that...maybe tomorrow.

The incident....

2010-01-12T21:19:00.000-08:00

Today was not the best day ever. I had a million meetings and hours of unproductively, my bank account showed up with a mysterious charge. (NOTE TO SELF - never pay for a magazine subscription using your bank account VISA card! When said subscription is up in MONTHS the magazine may help you remember you love them and want to renew by surprising you and taking care of that bill before they even bother to send it to you...how nice!)

My last meeting ran extra long so I was late for the gym. I am guessing because it was so cold outside they decided it should be a sweltering sauna in the gym. Like I don't sweat enough at the gym...I thought I might MELT! After J and her daughter came over for dinner and cupcakes made by E & N the night before and we had fun. Both of the boys cried due to horrible injury that lasted only long enough to make sure the other person was not going to be severely punished and moved on.

We took them home and I thought would get ready for bed and have a chance to dive back into my new book. WRONG! Instead, we had "the incident". Because I do not ever intend to embarrass my children I will be intentionally vague. I can't imagine I will ever come back to read this post and not recall what happened. One of the boys had an issue with his "privacy" as the boys love to call it. First I panicked for the blink of an eye and then I went to work on the issue. All seems to be back in order and on the mend but OMG! May I PLEASE never have to deal with that again. UGH! I really don't see this as one of those single parent issues...I am pretty sure as the mom I would have been the one to take care of it...even with a million dad's around. This was strictly a parent of boys issue. The outcome appears to be fine and that is all that matters. I wish it was margarita time instead of dishes time but that will have to wait for another day. I love my children and know that I will do anything for them. That includes things like tonight as well as things like dragging our 160 pound "puppy" to school so E can have him for "show and tell". Yes, I contacted the teacher first and explained what kind of dog we are talking about..MUCH to my surprise he said sure. I guess that is what I get. :) Guess tomorrow is going to be bath day for stinky. I can hardly wait!

Two down...

2010-01-10T20:15:00.000-08:00

Well, the second weekend of the new year is now over too. Man these weekends go by fast! Friday was fun, as I mentioned. Saturday we went grocery shopping...hungry! Bad plan...I can't believe how much I spent...YIKES! It was my own fault, I should have had a snack or something first but our Saturday was jam packed. We shopped, ran home and put the perishables away and then went to my sisters for my nephew's birthday. We fought over the baby, ate and then I went outside with all the kids to play. Little M & Z needed supervision and I qualified for the afternoon. We stayed later than I planned, ran home to change and gather up some things for the next party. That party was fun! It was J's belated B-day party. We hung out and ate..lots. Had some drinks, laughs and inappropriate moments...Thank you Birthday Girl! ;) We stayed late and came home and crashed.

Today was cleaning day...a little hard to get all excited about. I put a roast in the crock pot in the morning so it was ready at dinner time. My closet decided it no longer had a will to live and collapsed. What to do? I called my dad to see what measurements I should use when I go to Home Depot and if I needed more brackets or something to make sure it doesn't happen again. He said he would just come over tomorrow and take care of it while I am at work. I LOVE HIM! And, he is leaving me alone for over a month...does he know the damage I could do? Yes, he does. So I am keeping him in the dark about my painting plans. I am sure my job would not meet the standards so I'll keep that gem to myself until he is happily in AZ. :) I did buy myself a non-necessity present. It was not kid required, it was not house required...it was just me required. It is the new coffee maker by Mr. Coffee. I used it tonight and it was AWESOME! I can't wait to try again tomorrow.

I guess I should go figure out what to wear tomorrow and then stack the rest of my clothes on the couch or something...UGH! No fun. :(

Friday Fun!

2010-01-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was work...yeah, whatever. After work, I picked up my babies and we ran a couple errands and grabbed some dinner. Then we went over and picked up the girlies for a sleep over. A & J were going out on the town...hoecakes! :) The plan was a trip to B&N for new books for all the kids and a quick run to Target for a present. A told them to be good or she would beat them tomorrow. Randomly, for the first time ever, H believed her? and started to cry. It was a little funny considering none of our children have ever been beaten and I tend to let them act like crazy people at my house. :) They play and destroy and I clean it up. So, we ran to Target first and they were excellent except poor H kept falling down...for no reason. Then we walked over to the bookstore. Each kid got to pick one book. A had some authors we tried to find and then asked the assistant. Apparently, they were out of all books...for both! WHAT? Never mind, she decided to see if she could find another author she liked. We asked the lady to direct us to a similar section and she was "not in the kid" books so couldn't help...ummm, ok. She did say that those authors were part of the teen section so we headed that way. NO WAY! Since when does teen translate to slutty relationship books. So teen girls only want to read about getting a boyfriend? No thanks. Fortunately, she agreed so we went over to the 7-12 section. H had found a series of Tinkerbell books and was trying to decide between a couple. E had found something and N was all over the place. He is an excellent reader but he doesn't enjoy it. A and I found a couple different authors she was interested in so we all hung out in the kid section checking out the possibilities. This is where the "I am a sucker." comes into play. Everyone had two books they were trying to decide between. So...they all got two and I spent almost $100..WHAT, how did that happen? :) H's books were buy 2 get one free so she got to get a third. We went over to Starbucks for hot chocolates for the drive home. Did I forget to mention the 100 trips to the bathroom?

We came home and made a massive bed in the living room using the boys mattresses and just hung out. Games were played, books were read, TV was watched. N fell asleep in my room around 11 and the other kids in the living room around midnight. They weren't going to bed yet so no one had pj's on and no teeth brushing had occurred. As a matter of fact, A had jeans on and H was eating Cheetos. :) They all got up just before 8 this morning for Mickey shaped pancakes and to watch the new movie we bought - Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. It's pretty cute. :)

My house is thrashed! I would love to say from the kids but that would be a big fat lie! I have a mountain of laundry, I need to mop, sweep, dust....blah, blah, blah! We also need to go grocery shopping BAD...like, mom I am going to STARVE to death bad. Too bad I spent our grocery money on books (and I didn't even get one!) :) We have my nephew's party and then off to J's house for dinner and game night. Tomorrow is going to have to be a buckle down day for us. CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN and some serious yard work!

These baby monsters are screaming for smoothies now...I better hurry, I am totally out numbered and WallE will not save me!

WAIT, and OMG! My mother found FB last night...social networking world beware!

I want a puppy!

2010-01-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, not really. I would love to rescue every dog and kid I find. Today my mom was talking about going to the county to pick up new tags for Bella and going in to look at the animals. She cried, I would have too. Then after Awana we went over and saw T & J's puppy - her name is Stella and she is ADORABLE! I also happen to love their other dog, Dozer. Then we have WallE whom I adore an lets not forget my constant desire to steal Sammie. :) If only....

This week has been pretty low key for us. Monday night I picked up the boys from my parents and had dinner with them. I listened to all the fun they had while I was at work. Lucky, lucky bunch. Tuesday the boys and I came home and had dinner and then played some Wii and some Scene It...mucho fun! Tonight was a meeting about possibly closing our school and the kids had Awana. I picked up the kids after work and dropped them off and then picked up J for the meeting. We stopped to grab a quick bite to eat and I happened to run into the girl that my then BF cheated on me with. That part would have been tough enough but when you add that she pretended to be my friend so I wouldn't find out...well, that is just a little much for me. I guess she didn't seem to be bothered by it since she felt ok saying hi to me outside the restaurant. Um...seriously? I had some words ready to roll out of my mouth and yet I held them in and just walked on by. I'd love to say it was because I am a bigger person but that so isn't the truth and I am all about the truth. Kids were present and that just would have been wrong. Either way it really doesn't matter so onward and upward my friends! We ate and then hit up the meeting - not so good, I think our school is toast. Joked with A & J while we listened and then the other J and I had to leave to get the kids. Our normal ice cream place was closed so we just took the kids to McDonald's for their treat. Randomly J's hubby showed up and my children proceeded to act a fool. Something about him does that for them...especially the young one. I'm sure J just thinks I make it up and they always act that way...and sometimes they do, but it seems to increase ten fold for him. They think he is really cool so I think they like to show off.

Tomorrow is back to the gym for us and work and a whole host of other things. Right now the kids are ready for bed and I am doing some laundry. EXCITEMENT! :)

I finished my first of 50 books thanks to a challenge on A's blog and need to pick out book #2. Book #1 was something I ordered a LOONNGG time ago and never read. It turned out to be a really good book. Made me reconsider some things. Hmmm...!?! I think the next one will be a frivolous romance novel to offset it. :) The weekend is around the corner and I am excited. Friday is house work and grocery shopping, Saturday afternoon is my nephew's birthday and Saturday night is J's "party". She is supper old now so I don't know that party is the right word. Well, she says super old but she is a year younger than me so whatever! :) She tends to say the nicest things and the right times (you know, when I whine!) so I guess we can be friends. I say that like I'm not getting the better end of this deal...ha!

Interesting, the "incident" tonight was pretty anticlimactic for me. I didn't cry or get emotional. It totally irritated me that she doesn't seem to grasp the impact of her actions but as I said earlier, my reaction to these situations is all that matters now. For the most part, I didn't react so WOOHOO me! :) I'm not a pretender or good at faking it (or even trying) so I just didn't. While I would like others to feel shame (for total lack of a better word) for their actions most don't. If it had been me, I would have. "Hi" would not have been my words. I like that about me. I am glad to have a conscious, a knowledge of right and wrong, a grasp on how people should be treated. I got no shame in my game! :) I don't have to be embarrassed or nervous to face anyone in life. No, so not perfect, not even close. I make mistakes...regularly. BUT, I own them when I do. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong (Hello, Dr. Houseman from Dirty Dancing). I can't let others negative opinions of me impact me. Believe me, I am sure the list of people who think I suck far out numbers the list of people who don't. So to make my life easier, I only hang out with the short list! :)

One down...

2010-01-03T21:27:00.000-08:00

Well, our first weekend of 2010 is coming to a close. It was originally scheduled as a kid-free weekend but pleasantly ended up as a kid-full weekend. Why? Because the "sperm donor" that fathered my children is the World's Biggest Asshole! My apologies...but it is was it is people! After our "issue" on Friday morning. By issue I mean him being a jerkface and me letting him know that over the phone, he decided to "punish" me by not returning his oldest child's phone call. BRILLIANT PLAN SIR..SIMPLY BRILLIANT! Why? Because it meant I didn't have to see you, I got to run around with my two favorite little people in the entire world and sadly, they were also excited by the change in plan. YOU SUCK! It is now 9:30 on Sunday night and he never called.

Friday we lounged the day away. Watching movies and eating chips in mommy's bed with WallE. It was pretty darn awesome! We made smoothies at home, ate less than nutritious foods and snuggled.

Saturday we ran some errands in the morning. E was in charge of cart pushing at Target and decided it would be a great time to be funny! As in yell across the store that N was riding the cart because I wasn't taking care of him and his eyes might fall out...then he laughed... A LOT! I laughed too...maybe the other people in the store not so much? E swears he heard on a show that you can have analvalumia (I have no idea). When you aren't cared for properly...your eyeballs fall out! Umm, ok! After we got back from shopping A & J came over to hang out. J still looks rough from her NYE disagreement with WallE. We watched TV, lounged, ate and laughed. After N fell asleep EARLY watching a movie and E and I hung out on the couch and watched TV. Do you change the channel when that terrible SPCA commercial comes on? I DO! E didn't and started to bawl his little eyes out! We talked about how sad it was and that being the reason we rescued our dog. We decided he should become a millionaire and can adopt all kinds of dogs and I will be his helper. After, he and I decided he should just sleep with me and WallE.

Today we got up and played Battleship and then went over to my parents for lunch and the Steeler game. We WON! WOOHOO! I hope the Dolphin's second string QB is ok...he took a bad hit. My man did too and his poor arm hurts. SUCK IT WARD! He played in serious pain and threw some nice passes. LOVE HIM! :) After, the boys stayed with my parents for an unplanned sleepover. I came home and napped with WallE and then did lots of stuff around the house. Oh wait, I did nothing around the house. My bad! :)

Tomorrow is work and then back out to my parents to get the boys and have dinner. YUM! My parents leave soon for a looonnnggg time. BLAH! So happy for them but I will miss them. What will I do without my dad? Suck it up girl...that's what! They will be back in March.

I Am....

2010-01-02T19:36:00.000-08:00

Selfish, honest, judgemental, lonely, loyal, chubby, silly, sarcastic, begrudging, friendly, open, trusting, loving, angry, rescuing, loud, obnoxious, uncoordinated, chatty, clean, messy, analytical, hungry, short, motherly, hurt, energetic, emotional, strong, graying, weak, happy, nerdy, unforgiving, unmoving, steadfast, unprepared, strategic, bored, girly, willing, adventurous, outspoken, listener, planner, coordinator, scared, tired, squishy, motivated, bitchy, working, needy, wanting, believing, giving, struggling, striving, undeterred, questioning, searching, gossipy, grateful, caring, studious....

Good, the bad and the ugly. I am all of these things. Some more than others, some I wish not at all. So many more I wish I was.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T16:54:00.000-08:00

Wow, good bye 2009! What was the year like? I bought a house for me and my two sons. We added a new member of our family, WallE the wonder dog. I traveled a lot for business and can honestly say that I spent some quality time with friends, new and old. The boys graduated from one grade and moved to the next. We all had holidays and birthday. I have a new nephew to cuddle. I guess a total recap isn't needed since I can just go back and read about the last year post by post. I tried to enjoy the little things more this last year. Margarita's with D, gym with J, hanging out (as always) with A & N. Developed new friendships that I think with go the distance. Remembered what I like to do with my time. Struggled to remember why I decided to be single until the boys are raised. Recommitted to that being the very best idea I have had. Struggled to do it alone. It's hard sometimes and overwhelming and I really don't feel like I have a right to whine or beg for help. I am a suck it up and move on kind of girl. That's the only way I know. I'm thankful that God has allowed me to be able to do it alone. I don't know what the alternative is? I was employed for the entire year!

We sent 2009 out with a bang (on pots and pans to be specific). We had a party of five at my house last night. We had the best food and drinks and company. We ate and drank and danced on the table. We sent FB messages to people standing in the room. We LAUGHED! We shared. Then we ate and drank some more. At midnight we watched the ball drop and then we screamed, yelled, howled at the blue moon. It was awesome! We called the kids at their around-the-corner sleepover at Nana and Papa's house.

Resolutions? None of us spoke of any. I don't think most, or all of us, even had any. I'd like to be a better person. I'd like to be a better friend and parent. I'd love to say I want to figure it all out but that so isn't going to happen or maybe that I could have complete control over my emotions ALL THE TIME! I wish I could control the actions of others, but instead I need to learn to better control my reaction. I can't make you have a conscious, do the right thing, care about the right thing, care period. Why do people feel like their actions are just selfish? Don't you know your actions impact everyone around you? Why does it have to be all about you? BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR IMPACT!

This morning we welcomed the new year by laying on the couch and chatting before we bundled up and went out to get our babies. What would a day of hope and promise be without some drama from PDT? I jokingly said that my resolution was to be the bitch he deserved me to be for the last five years. I accommodate his ever changing scheduled, his unwillingness to pay, his unacceptable behavior. I do this for my children; to make sure they have a relationship with their dad. Well, fuck you buddy! It's time for you to work on that same relationship! He owes me money! He asked me to "cover" the kids tomorrow so he could work. So today he loses his mind on the phone and decides it is totally ok to yell at me, tell me over and over that I am wrong. I took the phone away from my ear and yelled right back! He was to get the boys this morning at 9 - I knew that wasn't going to happen so I didn't rush over to bring them home. Jerkface calls me around 11 to tell me that I drove right past him and shook my head at him and what the fuck was my problem. First, your ass was LATE. Second, I did not see your ever changing car nor did I shake my head at you. I was tired, hungover and having a conversation with the two other people in the car. And why are we having this conversation and hour after I left my house? If I drove right past you why didn't you honk? Or call right away? Or follow me AROUND THE CORNER! So I end up looking like a crazy lady right in the middle of A's parents kitchen screaming into my phone. SO, I just hang up. I wait 20 minutes and let E call him to schedule the pick up. Guess what? No return call, no pick up. HE HAS NOT SEEN THEM! It's time to be a grown up sparky!

I still have high hopes for 2010! I am going to continue to spend my time with people I love and not so much with those I don't. I will be accountable for me and my actions. I will read more, I will try and be more consistent with the gym. I will keep trying to rid myself of the divorce debt. I will enjoy my home, my dog, my kids, my Starbucks, wine, chocolate, Diet Pepsi, concerts, books, blogs, margaritas. I will continue to try and love all aspects of my life and uncover the reasons why it is mine and what the good plan just might be.

Weekend/Holiday

2009-12-27T19:17:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how quickly the holidays are flying by us, let alone the year! I feel like we just moved into our house - it was June, I feel like we just had Halloween and now it is almost 2010! Where did the time go?

Wednesday night J and I took the kids to check out this house we heard about that had crazy amounts of lights. Before the lights, we took them to dinner and Fro Yo. They actually didn't fight too much. The restaurant was crazy busy because of the basketball game. We tried to convince the kids that a dessert from the restaurant sounded much better than cold frozen yogurt but we got veto'd...so cold it was.

Thursday afternoon I took the boys to see the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie and it was adorable. After, we came home and made some more Santa cookies and then the boys got to open their presents from mom. They changed into their new pj's and we just hung out getting ready for bed. We checked NORAD to see how close Santa was to our house and he was still on the other side of the world. Around 9:00 they went to bed and around 11:00 they were still up. Santa was getting sleepy. :) Eventually they fell asleep and Santa came. Noah was certain when he got up just before 6:00 in the morning that he had heard Santa come hours earlier. He knew he heard Ho, Ho, Ho. (I do not Ho....contrary to J's belief)

Our Christmas was GREAT! The boys opened Santa's gifts and swam in the wrapping paper, boxes and new toys for the rest of the morning. Later we headed out to M's house for more presents and dinner. We played with the kids new toys, laughed, fought over who got to hold the baby next, ate, ate and ate some more. We stayed forever and just had a great time. Later that evening I took the boys over to see their dad. He asked them if they wanted to spend the night and they said yes so I was headed home alone. I figured it would be a good chance to clean up the mess and get some rest from all my Santa helper work the night before. I took one look at the mess and decided wine and TV was a much better idea. A couple of glasses and some bad TV later and I was ready to crash. It was actually pretty late (for me) and I was beat.

Saturday morning the boys came home and told me that their dad got them a BB gun to share. I'm not at all a fan of that plan but it isn't my call. I explained them how important it is to be careful and never play with it unless they are with their dad. After that we just jumped right back into the playing....with EVERYTHING! My fingers will never be the same after cutting open all that hard plastic. We played all day and didn't clean a single thing. We stayed up watching TV and checking out their new Pokemon cards in my room until well after 10:00.

Today was make-up day. We CLEANED! I'm not a fan of Christmas after Christmas so I took down our tree, our decorations, our lights and packed it all away for next year. Our house is back to normal, save the million new toys in the play room.

N's kept saying on Christmas morning "I love life!". His enthusiasm, as well as E's, for everything can be pretty contagious. It makes it so easy to have fun and be thankful for my family.

Back to work tomorrow. Short week again and lots to get done. NYE is scheduled for our house this year. I can't wait!

Do you believe in Santa?

2009-12-23T14:04:00.000-08:00

E - "Mom, do you believe in Santa?"
Me - "Of course. Why do you?"
E - "Yeah, but someone said yesterday that Santa wasn't real."
Me - "What did you say?"
E - "Well he said that your mom and dad are Santa and that they go shopping while you are asleep and then hide the presents."
Me - "And, so what do you think?"
E - "I told him that I didn't think that was true. You don't leave me and N home alone at night and plus last year you got me some toys and I opened them on Christmas Eve and then on Christmas morning I had more stuff to open. And I didn't even ask you for a scooter but Santa knew I wanted one. You couldn't have bought us all that stuff"
Me - "Your right, I would never leave you and brother home alone at night."

OMG! I love how logical my little 8 year old can be. His heart wants to continue to believe so his mind is helping him out. I wish I could find ways to do the same.

Merry Christmas!

End of the week!~

2009-12-16T16:27:00.001-08:00

I am so excited that I decided to end my week early. Today is my last work day until Monday! :) I just finished packing up my office for the big remodel and will have to unpack it all next week. *I am not writing much about work still because I am in the midst of a attitude problem. I hate it and wish I could just move past it but I am having a very hard time. I still love my job but some things seriously need a CHANGE! I don't want to focus on that and am still grateful to have a job, this specific job to be exact but no of that changes my issues. Anger management anyone?

This week has been just dandy! Monday night I took the boys over to meet their newest cousin. N was very excited in the car. Once we got to my sisters he soon realized that the baby couldn't "do" anything so he was off to play with his older cousin. E has always been a baby man and so he was very eager to hold little baby N. After we ran to the store to get their secret Santa gifts for today.

Tuesday was surprise day! :) J and I go to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday (mostly!). This Tuesday there was a change in plans. Her husband kept the kids and she and I did a little holiday shopping...it was awesome! My shopping is seriously behind so it was good to get a little more taken care of.

Tonight is a "party" of sorts. I don't know that I am supposed to talk about what kind...a salesy (yes, I know that isn't an actual word) party of some kind but I am really excited about it. I hope it lives up to the expectation.

Tomorrow I will take the kids to school and then come home for some SERIOUS cleaning and then back to school for E's play. Friday will be filled with holiday shopping and wrapping and who knows what else. Maybe some margaritas? If only D would promise to take the day off too...we will have so much fun and you know it! The weekend will be more shopping and wrapping and getting ready for the family kid party on Sunday. Perhaps some more time spent with the BFF's..hmmm? What could we do? :)

Weekend Update! (I love SNL!)

2009-12-13T17:58:00.000-08:00

Friday I was pretty much a waste after spending all that time at the hospital waiting for my sister C to have her baby. Everyone thinks I am crazy for spending that much time at the hospital but that is just how we are. I wasn't alone. My other sister, three of my nieces (two of them were the laboring mothers children) and my dad. My mom would have been with us too if she had been home. I don't think any of us have ever been in the hospital without a gaggle of visitors. Nor has a kid in the family had a school performance or a sporting event without a few extra family and friends to watch. I may have lots of issues with my family but I do so love that!

I worked for a few hours and then came home to sleep for a little bit before I picked up my babies. I was greeted with the fact that PTD let his dog eat N's shoes...LOVELY. We grabbed some groceries and Chinese food and just hung out at home. It was decided that a sleepover in my bed was needed. Yes it is big but not for two squirmy kids and a big dog...so who got kicked out again? ME! That's ok, I survived.

Saturday morning my dad came and got the boys. They took in our recycling and used the money to buy mommy a Christmas present. I love my dad and those monsters. :) From N's little hints I am pretty sure I figured it out..THANK YOU DAD! Saturday night A and the fam came over for pizza and our annual tradition of lighting. We found some great houses and listened to all the kids fight and whine...why did we do this again? After a sleep over commenced at my house. N and I had some wine and watched bad TV while the kids played. A mostly read magazines. :) The two big kids passed out and the little ones ran around like crack babies until almost 1 in the morning.

We had pancakes for breakfast on Sunday and then everyone went home to get ready for the kid party at Nana's that afternoon. After I got out of the shower I heard a million sirens outside our house. I look out to see all these cop cars outside our neighbors house. I think the worst only to be quickly corrected. The officers started unloading a tree, presents and food. It was AWESOME! Total holiday spirit booster. After I dropped the kids off for the party and N, A and I hit T-Bell and then off to N's dad's to return his pimp mobile. We used his mini van for the lighting. He and I watched football while N ransacked the house. :) After we went to Starbucks and then back to get the kids. We totally had plans for these four hours and ended up doing none of them...and it was still great! We always have fun.

My house is a wreck, I did no shopping and my house is a wreck (it bears repeating). I have a full week at work and a busy following weekend to catch up on all this mess. It's fine...and I will totally manage because I am special....I totally wear tank tops and sparkle like a princesses tiara! FORSURE! Anyone got a personalized doorbell?

Welcome to the world!

2009-12-11T05:59:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning on Thursday, got ready, got the boys ready for school and then took them to school. I then headed to the hospital in hopes that my nephew would soon be born. I arrived just before 8:00 in the morning. My nephew...he didn't "arrive" until 3:47 Friday morning. We love him anyways and he is adorable but I am TIRED! Going home just to turn around in an hour and go to work seemed silly so I just came straight to the office, after hitting the only Starbucks I know that is open at 5:00 in the morning. I have no idea how long I will last today...not long I am assuming.

WOOHOO! Baby Nicholas 9 pounds 5 ounces and 22 inches long...not to mention PERFECT! :)

(This is the third Thursday in a row that I have not slept and then tried to function on Friday...I really hope it is the last!)

HELP!

2009-12-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

I am having serious anger management issues lately. SERIOUS! I literally had to hide in our file room on Monday to prevent my mouth from spewing all the things I wanted to say. I am usually pretty good about maintaining my "work vocabulary". I don't use foul language during my department meetings, on the phone with clients or talking with others within the company. Well, unless the "others" are D, D2 and J....they have to listen to me from time to time. This week? I feel like everyone should hear it! This is not rocket science people. I work in a job that basically pays you for your knowledge and the ability to use it. We don't sell a tangible product and it cannot speak for itself...you have to do it! More importantly, you have to be able to do it! It is not my job to babysit you or your work. GRRRR!

Yesterday J and I had to escape for lunch so we could vent. It was a much needed break and yet, the afternoon did not improve. Today was a repeat but the lunch was catch up with D. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that all my time off this year has been moving and/or illness related? Or maybe people are really just that stupid! Either way, it is my problem and I better figure it out before it gets the best of me.

Tomorrow is our holiday party and then a function at the boys school so that should be nice. Thursday my sister will be induced if she hasn't had her baby already...that should be nice. Friday will be the following day so that should be nice. Saturday the boys get to go to Nana and Papa's for a holiday party that we adults are not invited to attend so that should be nice. After the kids go to bed I am going to drink a glass of wine from the bottle L gave me and maybe take a bath...that should be nice.

Ok, enough of the should be nice....now I should be nice!

Weekend?

2009-12-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

Where the heck did this weekend go?

Friday night I ran some quick errands after work. Not as many as I should have but a couple. Then I went and hung out at T's house. We had some wine and bread and just talked for a long time. The plan was a movie but I had been to bed way too late all week and had to work on Saturday so we cut it short around 10:00ish so I could come home and go to bed, which I promptly did. :)

Saturday was an early day. I so did not want to drag myself out of bed but I did. Picked up A and headed to Starbucks on the way into the office. It was file room day. Our entire file room has to be packed in the next couple of weeks for some work in our suite and it isn't pretty. A came to help for the day so we grabbed some coffee and met D2 at the office for a day-o-fun! We rocked out to some 98 Rock and proceeded to cut the hell out of my hands for the next 7 hours! We stopped for lunch and bathroom breaks but that was about it. D2 shared some of our more interesting past employee stories for A to enjoy. After my plan was to come home and shower and hit the Galleria for some retail therapy (holiday shopping) before the evening plans. That so did not happen. I laid on the couch for hours...then showered and randomly ended up at A's house for more wine, nail painting, brownie batter and some crazy dancing. Her dog broke my shoe so I happily hopped to my car and came home around 10ish again. This time I watched a little TV and had a serious conversation about sharing with WallE.

Sunday the plan was to get up and do laundry and clean before the boys came home and then head back to A's for some holiday decorating. Instead I woke up at 10! THAT NEVER HAPPENS! It was amazing! So basically I showered and then the kids were home. We ran to the store for some party items and then over for the festivities. We had a blast! It's just like being at home when we are together. The kids were nuts, M cooked us all a yummy pasta lunch, we decorated, we laughed, we froze our asses off! We stayed longer than planned and so once we got home the kids were ready to be home. They need some time to be "normal" after getting home from PTD's house. We all lazied around and then they fell asleep. We still need to go grocery shopping, I only did a required amount of laundry and my floor needs to be vacuumed. I also did none of my holiday shopping and the Galleria is so calling my name! Instead the boys are watching a Christmas movie and I plan to go read my book. Good thing the mess will wait!

December started off with a bang!

2009-12-04T13:55:00.001-08:00

What a crazy long week! Work has been busy but that is nothing new. Monday night I was looking for a box of Christmas decorations and ended up finding an entire box of CD's...it was AWESOME!

On Tuesday J and I went back to the gym....finally! I really should not take that long of a break. It is just too easy to come up with better things to do with my limited free time. I whined...nothing new with that either. I was pretty pleased that we didn't wimp out and did what we normally would have without the "break".

Wednesday A, N and J came over to help me pick an outfit for a holiday party I had the next night in SF. We laughed at the interesting (inappropriate) combo's we tried. At the end I decided to wear a dress that I didn't really think I liked and yet it worked (Thank you J for dragging it out of the closet and making me try it on). J and I then took the kids to ice cream. While I was at work that day my dad came to my house. Why? To decorate the outside for Christmas. He put lights around the trees the kids decorated. He put a huge lighted Santa train in the yard and candy cane lights down the walk. It was adorable and we were all totally surprised. :) Told you he was amazing, crabby but still amazing. He also bought a lock for my side yard gate...it was really bothering him that it wasn't locked. I don't believe many people would try to venture into my back yard with WallE but you never know. My mom did my dishes too. What a sweet gig I had that day!

Thursday was the party. A train, BART, a Cadillac and a Jag...all in one day. Plus sushi lunch, Starbucks and LOTS of wine! The party was on the 25th floor of a building right in the heard of the financial district. It was an amazing view. Not to mention lots of food, the football game on a large screen, a DJ, guitar hero and LOTS and LOTS of liquor. Saw many friends I hadn't seen in a long time, got offered a job in front of my boss and had a DD for the drive home. The DD even stopped at McDonald's on the way home. :) Got home after midnight and then right back to work. YIKES! It has been a long day but that is ok...it is almost over.

My hope is this weekend holds some Christmas shopping, Starbucks and maybe some more girl time. The boys will come home Sunday from their PTD's house so we will spend the rest of that day snuggling. Maybe I will have wrapped a present or two for them under the tree. I have to work for a little bit on Saturday but A and I are going to bust that out and be done in time to enjoy the rest of the weekend doing whatever. The Galleria is calling my name!

Blink and you'll miss it!

2009-11-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

I swear that is the best way to describe this glorious 4 1/2 day vacation. It truly feels like I just walked out of my office early on Wednesday with all this free time ahead of me and now its over!

Wednesday I ran a couple errands and picked up the boys. We came home and hung out and then S came over for a little while. J picked her up and ended up staying for a little while and having dinner and pre-Thanksgiving pie. I knew I wanted to get to bed early so I was ready for the run in the morning.

Thursday morning I took the boys to my sisters house and picked up my niece and we headed over to my other sisters house. The last couple of years me, my sister, brother-in-law and two nieces do the run. Last year we did the 10k but this year we had a bit of a scheduling issue so we were only able to do the 5k. I had a terrible time sleeping the night before so I was totally ok with that. Even my pre-run Starbucks didn't do much to motivate me. After I picked up the boys and the pies and we headed over to my parents for dinner. WE HAD A BLAST! :) All the kids and family were home. We just hung out, watched the game, played with the kids, laughed, laughed and laughed some more. Not to mention all the eating! Man, we ate. We also tried to get my sister to go into labor...no luck! Later that night I brought the boys to Nana and Papa's for a sleepover and then over to A's for some shopping strategies. I guess the rest of this story is actually Friday! :)

Friday - J, A, N and I hit Toys R Us at midnight. Spent the hour or so before in line watching the crazies...not to mention the two homeless guys in front of us trying to sell their spot in line. CRAZY! Once we finished we had a couple hours to kill before Old Navy opened so we thought Denny's sounded good. WRONG! We waited forever and no one came to take our drink order so we bounced out and hit Del Taco instead. We ruined a family while we sat in the car waiting for the store to open...not our fault. Don't listen to conversations in other people's car! :) After ON we hit Starbucks (THANK YOU!) and then off to Target. We walked out of Walmart just as the sun was coming up. At this point I had been up for about 26 hours. We had a BLAST! Laughed so much it was crazy. Built our "friendship foundation" for life. :) I came home and hit the loot and then slept for a couple hours before I picked up the boys. I ended up having lunch with Nana and the kiddos. Awesome. The rest of the day was a total waste. I couldn't get off the couch/bed all day. The kids and I mostly just watched TV. I crashed early!

Saturday we cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned. Then we ran some errands and got some candy canes for our tree. :) It was a pretty low key day....and the wind was just crazy! We just hung out as a family.

Sunday - Today we got our Christmas tree! We went out and cut it down with family. The boys picked it out...not my most favorite tree but that's ok. They love that they picked it. My parents were over so my dad could install my new security screen door and my mom hung out in the house with us while we listened to x-mas music and decorated the tree and house. We had pizza for lunch and then the boys went out to decorate our mini trees in the front yard. I HATE those trees but they do look cute covered in tinsel and ornaments. :) I hope to get some more outside decorations soon....weather/energy/money permitting. I am a huge fan of the holidays. I loved this four days of family and friends and can't wait for more!

Tomorrow is work, work, work! Oh well, it couldn't last forever. Next week is the first of the holiday parties...this one in SF on Thursday and it is a fun one so that's good.

What am I Thankful for?

2009-11-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, right at this very minute it would be that my office is closing at noon today and my brain has already closed for the holiday. Seriously (or not so much)....

1. Most important - I am so thankful for my adorable children. I love those boys more that I would have ever imagined before I had them. They are truly terrible kids, they fight, yell, scream, make messes, break things, require huge amounts of food, clothing and toys. Who am I kidding? N give the most wonderful hugs and ALWAYS tells me he loves me and isn't too old to kiss his mommy. E does not find me as important in his day to day life as N but he still loves me and tells me from time to time. They are smart, loving, caring boys who will continue to grow into wonderful men.
2. My family. I love my parents so very much. I don't care that my mother didn't give birth to me...she is still my mom. I can't even being to understand what my life would be like with out my dad so I won't...not today, not EVER! My niece Madison is a miracle. Open heart surgery before she was a year old and now a rowdy silly girl that I love a ton. (Ok, this family story could go on for days so I will condense.) My sisters, my nieces (young and old, biological and otherwise), their babies (lots of them), my nephews (even the one that I will get to meet in a few weeks) my grandma (and grandpa that I miss lots), the family that adopts me from time to time.
3. My friends. If hardships teach you anything it is the value of friendship. Friends in good times are pretty easy to come by. Friends that will stand by and let you bash their dirtbag brother...those are few and far between. A friend that will join in on such bashing...ALMOST UNHEARD OF! Friends that tell their girlfriend they must like you or they can't be together...really, that happened! :), friends you tell everything too, friends you have sleepovers with even if you way too old for that sort of thing, friends that will run from a restaurant with you (no we didn't dine and dash), shop with you, go see movies they would rather not see. Friends that listen to you whine about things that seem totally unimportant to them but are devastating to you, friends you talk to daily or several times a day and still have things to talk about, friends that let you know and love their children and love yours back. Friends that you work with, that later become such a great solace, someone who understands things the same as you and that totally gets your work bitching. Friends you go to the gym with (ugh sister!). Friends that live far way but you still email or txt or talk all the time like you see each other every day, friends you can count on always...yes these friends have names...and they are...Amanda, Jene, Deana, Jennifer, Deseree, Michelle G., Michelle K....oh how this list could go on and on and on and on. A life without friends is really no way to live!
4. My Dog - he is a beast, he snores, takes up the bed, eats a lot and gets pissy when we are late...but I love him and I can totally tell he loves us back! :)
5. My JOB! Yes, I am glad I have one. Yes, I complain about this one A LOT but I do love it. The boys can drive us crazy but we stick around because of them. I enjoy what I do. I get challenged a lot and that is good too. If only I could make them pay me more... :)
6. My house - the boys have a place to run, have friends over. A place I can have surprise parties, dinner parties, drinking parties. I can paint it purple if I wanted. I have all these dreams of things to do to it. I don't have the $$ to do them but at least I have the dream.
7. I know that I should say something about being thankful for the hard times, divorce, breakups, death, financial issues...blah, blah,blah. Yes they make you who you are and yes, I learned a lot about myself from those experiences but I don't know that thankful is the right word so I will go with "aware" of them and ok that they happened. I would be even more ok if they were followed by a big lottery win and Big Ben calling me up to get married. :)
8. Trivial I know, but damn I am thankful for the following: Starbucks, TiVo, cable, books, Target, internet access, chocolate, bread, cheese, wine, margaritas, home improvement stores, Sephora, Diet Pepsi, peanut butter. (I am sure this list could go on forever too!)

Hmmm, I know this list should/could be expanded but that should do it for now. :) I thank God for my family and friends and all those things above. Tomorrow is the Run to Feed the Hungry in the morning and then off to eat and be thankful together and then...oh yes! THE SHOPPING! :) I can't wait for our first Christmas in our new house.

Anybody thankful for anything? :)

WOW!

2009-11-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

What a weekend I had. For most it will sound very run of the mill ordinary, nothing to be excited about! For me...it was pretty great! I don't have a lot of kid free time and when I do it usually is for chores and work. I honestly do not recall the last time I had this much me time! I certainly don't want, or need it very often but occasionally it is nice. And to spend it with such great ladies! :) If only D and I hadn't let the storm chase off our margarita plans....

Friday night the BFF's and I stopped off at Pete's on the way home for BOGO coffees, then off to grab dinner and then to see New Moon. Isn't that the best part of having girlfriends. Someone who truly wants to do those things rather than dragging someone to it. It was way too much fun. We almost had to throw down in the movie line, ended up getting free tickets out of the deal and getting great seats for the movie. Laughed so hard we cried at the people that would clap and yell at the screen as if the movie stars could hear them. And really, while I may think a certain werewolf character is deliciously hot I shall not say it...he is a baby!

Saturday I slept in and then got ready to hang out with another friend. We went shopping at Old Navy and Target and then went and had a yummy lunch (and dessert) from Bella Bru. We first went to another restaurant that we had not been to before. We sat down to have a look at the menu..ummm, no thank you. The waitress came to take our drink orders and we asked her to come back in a minute. We then decided to exit the building! After the yoga fiasco...we are pretty honest with each other. Why suffer if you don't have to! After that I ran a couple additional errands and then took a nap. Watched random TV and crashed pretty early for a good old Saturday night.

Sunday was a little more sleeping in and then my babies came home...WOOHOO! (Dark spot in the weekend - loser can't pay. Seriously, my bills don't pay themselves and what about Black Friday shopping...not to mention YOU OWE IT!) Whatever! Anyways, they came home and we hung out for a few hours and then went to the store for a few additional dinner items. Later that night the C family came for dinner. Fried chicken, homemade mac & cheese, bacon-wrapped asparagus, bread and just for kicks, a salad no one ate. We even had chocolate cheesecake for dessert. D and I had a glass of wine and I got to snuggle with two-month old baby L while the crazy big kids ran around...like crazy big kids. Poor T had an accident earlier in the day and was pretty beat so he slept on the couch...poor guy! I so loved catching up with my friend. We don't get a chance to talk (almost daily) like we did before so it was nice!

Short week this week! We will close our office early on Wednesday. The kids have friends over tonight, tomorrow night we go see the premier of The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Wednesday will be cleaning and getting ready, Thursday is Run to Feed the Hungry in the morning and then dinner at my parents, later that night we will have a sleepover at my house and get ready for Black Friday shopping. We have a posse this year! I can't wait. :) The kids will spend the night with Nana and Papa so as not to be involved in the "Santa" shopping. Saturday is some chores and what nots with my Dad and then Sunday is off to chop down our Christmas Tree. Our first Christmas in our new house.

Well, this is one of those easy to be grateful posts.....

Parent-Teacher-Conference

2009-11-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

My children are brilliant! :) No, really, it isn't just me! Today was PTC day for both of the boys. PTD always love to come to these and take credit for the boys overall attendance, homework completion, overall smartness and preparedness for school. ARE YOU KIDDING?!? He comes for the one-on-one "hey look at me teacher, I care". E's teacher didn't even know who he was. N's did but only because she has had both boys in prior classes. I know that it doesn't change the anything but I don't understand how you can feel ok about taking credit for something you had no part in. You don't fight N out of bed, argue with him to do homework, praise them and help them when they are doing well or confused. I can tell you, listening to a six year old try and read something that is difficult is not entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to be a part of that. I am grateful that I get to be the person that shapes them, but it isn't all fun, games and pats on the back. Well, enough on that....

E is in the 3rd grade and is now reading at the end of 5th grade level. He was offered a spot in the GATE program again. Does wonderful in all subjects and is a very helpful, responsible child. WOOHOO, way to go E!

N is an author in the making. His teacher showed me his journal. The kid has this crazy imagination and wrote the most detailed stories about things he doesn't know about. Did you know that elephants are grey because they are too big to hide so they lay down and pretend to be rocks. How awesome is that! He is also a class leader, makes sure no one is left out or picked on. His teacher wouldn't believe that he is anything but perfect at home. Um...yeah, right!

After those fantastic meetings we picked up A & H and took them with us to my office to see their mom and congratulate her on a new position. Then I took all four punks out for ice cream to celebrate their wonderfulness. :)

The boys and I have just been hanging out the rest of the night. We all laid by the fire for a little while and watched TV. Tomorrow they go with loserface for two nights. He hasn't kept them for two nights in a long time. He has suddenly decided that he might give it a try. Even if he doesn't plan to see them on Thanksgiving...way too go!

Tomorrow is FRIDAY! Drinks with D, maybe a trip to Target. I really want to see New Moon (but maybe not this weekend), J and I are planning some girl time on Saturday possibly and DC and the fam are coming over Sunday night for dinner...I can't WAIT! I miss them mucho!

Oh, weekend!

2009-11-15T19:28:00.000-08:00

How much cleaning is one person expected to do already! UGH, I feel like that is all I did all weekend. Friday night - cleaned. I surprised the boys by bringing the full size mattress from their bed into the living room and making them a big comfy bed in front of the fireplace and TV. They loved it. Saturday - cleaned. Ok, well not the entire day. I did squeeze in a couple of movies (Twilight - while I cleaned my room, The Ugly Truth - while I cleaned the toy room and Bride Wars - while I cleaned up the boys room.) Sunday - yep, more cleaning. I folded our laundry mountain, including every blanket we own while I watched my man suffer on TV. Can we get some offensive coverage already! Come on boys - Ben needs some protection, not to mention a hair cut. :) After that it was out to do yard work and clean up the garage. FUN, FUN, FUN! I did take time to cook several random things this weekend. I made a roasted pepper bake and even roasted my own peppers and this morning I made a stew in the crock pot that we have eaten several times. After I finished the yard work I took the boys to Big Spoon - N got Citizen of the Month at school. We then ran to the store for milk and some crusty bread to go with our dinner. I also stopped for gas since I didn't figure I would want to do it at 5:30 in the morning tomorrow.

I don't want to go to Seattle. Not because I don't like the place - I have never actually been before. And, a friend pointed out it is the home of Starbucks! It will be cold and rainy and the people I am going to see would probably rather I not. Why can't I just go to work and hang out with D. We always go to lunch on Mondays...come on, PLEASE!

Friday!

2009-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am home with my babies!

I have been so looking forward to the weekend. Work is hectic and angry lately (mostly I am angry). Too much work, too many attitudes, too much giving in. Add planning employee lunches, moving employees and travel plans and I am toast! I don't do well with unproductivity..especially when it's mine. Monday in Seattle will be, umm interesting? Tuesday will be catch up and Wednesday will be meeting and possible packing for TI work. Thursday I will have to leave early for PTC at school - still hoping they can reschedule them close together instead of trying to leave work early twice in the same week. I can hardly wait!

Today D2 took me to lunch (almost an every other Friday ritual) but today it was Zin instead of Chipotle. I had a YUMMY dish and we shared an even better dessert. We don't always see eye to eye but dessert is usually a safe bet! A dark chocolate truffle cake with ice cream and white chocolate sauce...OMG! It was awesome. :) PLUS, he mentioned the NY call went well which likely means very good news for a friend.

The week wasn't all bad - game night was fun. Wednesday night I ended up having dinner at Nana's house. Not only was is so good, but I got to hang out with A, N and M. I love those girls. Not to mention SAMMIE! God, I wish I could quit that dog. I knelt down in the kitchen to love on him and he happily agreed. Sat right down on my lap and we snuggled right there on the kitchen floor. He looked good - that baby will ALWAYS have a puppy face. Even a short bit of Sammie love is better than none. I swear he and WallE would get along great. I have no idea where I will sleep but it would be fine.

Tonight we came home and had dinner and I am trying to get some cleaning done, E is watching Elf by the fire and N is playing tug-of-war with WallE. I am enjoying a glass of wine and a couple new CD's with my cleaning and a quick blogging break. I love a clean house, with wine, lots of groceries and delicious smelling candles burning all around. The main ingredient is the boys. I LOVE when we are home together.

Tomorrow will be more cleaning and possibly some yard work and then who knows after that. Hopefully something FUN!

E was talking about something they do at their dad's house today and I asked why they don't do the same at home? N said "because we don't like doing it". So I said that must mean I no longer have to do things I don't want to do...that didn't go over well! E waits a little bit and then said "mom, at dad's we do it because he is cold-hearted and mean and you are so warm and loving." HA! That kid is going to talk his way out of EVERYTHING! The kid was totally making that up but it was still nice to hear! :)

The best part of the day? My mom went to the doctor today and got better than expected news. I hate that she is sick and we can't change it but knowing that whatever she has been doing the last year has worked in our favor and things looked ok. Ok is the best we can hope for...either way I have made her promise to live until the kids are done having kids...I think we should be good in about 20-25 years or so...right? Actually, I prefer to believe that I will always be able to call on them. I can't imagine what I would do without my dad - he knows EVERYTHING! :) How many adult children still believe that. And I can't even begin to explain my mom...she just is!

Happy weekend of babies, a house I own that needs to be cleaned, my very own yard to mow and trim, our mountain of laundry and possibly some friend fun?

(Having said that I still plan to whine about traveling to Seattle - 42 degree high and rain...blah!)

2009-11-11T15:24:00.000-08:00

I am exhausted! I feel like I could sleep for days! I could sleep right here at my desk, for hours! Last night D and I went to dinner and then out to the Kings game (D2 didn't come with us but he paid! :)). It was fun. We went to BJ's for dinner and beers before the game and then headed over to Arco. The seats were awesome, the game was ok. I like basketball, not like football but it can be fun to watch. I hate watching baseball unless my babies are playing. Spencer Hawes is adorable but can't seem to understand that he is not a 3-point shooter. Seriously honey, just give it up for now. You have a lot of other great moves. The rest of the players are unknown to me - it just isn't the same as before. I have never heard of the Oklahoma City Thunder before - when did they become a team? The Kings won but D and I left before it was over. We left for a few reasons - one being the girls that sat in front of us! OMG! They paid all that money for good seats, parking and drinks to take pictures of each other...millions and millions of pictures. They took pictures with their phones, with their cameras, together, separate, "candid - pretend like you aren't posing", pose, lets ask the person next to us to take one, over and over again. It was insane. I don't think they realized a game was being played or that their surrounds, clothes, and facial expressions NEVER changed in any of the pictures. This one girl must have had implants and/or a mountain of Botox because her face never moved and she was young! I mentioned to D that I would most certainly remain single for the rest of my years if I had to pretend to be that stupid to compete. Oh, these girls!

After the game I picked up the monsters and went home and forced them to bed at 10:30. They got to go home with J and N last night and had a great time. Fog machine, band equipment, manly man to play with, talk of broken bones! (I like to spread the kid joy around - last night was J, Monday morning will be A and Monday afternoon the parents. Last night was fun - Monday is a trip to rainy, cold Seattle for business...) WallE then decided to show me how unhappy he was at my late evening (and the fact that I came home smelling like J's dog). He insisted on laying right next to me and under the covers. He then decided to continue to scoot his butt over closer and closer and wiggle his giant head until I fell off the side of the bed. What do you do to move a 150 pound dog out of your spot? I pushed him back over and told him to knock it off or I was going to take his half of blanket away. After that he settled down and we shared a small corner of my very large king size bed. He is just like sleeping with a very large child. Always squished up next to you.

This morning came way too early! The kids are out of school for Veteran's Day but I had to work. BLAH! This afternoon was an all employee lunch in the office that included me acting as the bartender with my margarita machine. Who doesn't want mexican food, cookies and margaritas in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon. :) The only problem has been my total inability to concentrate this afternoon. Not because of too many drinks but the combination of a little alcohol, too little sleep and too much work is just pushing me over the edge. Thankful I can go to bed early tonight..even if I have to work again tomorrow.

(This post rambles about so many odd things, in no particular order and typed while I should have been doing above mentioned "too much work".) UGH

Bliss (not your typical Monday word)

2009-11-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

Football, yummy Big Ben, good wine and a fire. If only every Monday could be this good! Tomorrow night D and I hit up a Kings game...should be fun!

I Love TV!

2009-11-08T19:52:00.000-08:00

I loved Taylor Swift's monologue on SNL last night!
The Soup/The Dish are hilarious!
The Good Wife is the BEST new drama.
Still gotta love The Hills/City.
Sunday Football is awesome / Monday Night Football is Better!
Why are there so many wonderful cheesy movies on TV to compete with my need for football?
Dexter is on in less than two hours.
Law & Order CI marathon is on.
I will watch/skim the Kardashian Wedding - I have no idea why but I feel compelled to see it!

Umm, I think I need a TV detox. Maybe a book or some news...work even! I don't think I have ever watched so much TV in a two day period. (Other than when I was sick and that was mostly in and out of consciousness while the TV was on.) This was pure joy! I am a slacker, with an unkempt house...however, my children have been thrilled with the day. Did I mention we have brownies from last night? WallE has loved it as well. He has spent most of the day under the covers with us!

Anyone want to come clean my house, fold our laundry, go to the grocery store, take the kids to school and go to work for me so that I can stay home and watch more TV? PLEASE!

Best Laid Plans

2009-11-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

This weekend I was going to catch up on some MUCH needed house work. Well, it is after 5:00 on Sunday and I have yet to get a grip on that! :)

Friday night D and I went and had drinks and then checked out the sale at Old Navy. After I went to T's house to help get ready for her sons party the next day. I ended up staying way later that I thought I would. Came home and chilled out a little.

Saturday morning I woke up and decided to just watch a little TV before I got going. I had almost two weeks of Tivo saved. A little TV turned into hours of TV. I honestly do not recall the last time I laid in bed and just watched TV...uninterrupted! I took a quick shower and started cleaning up the yard when the boys came home earlier than I thought. Ok by me! We went to the party and had a blast! After S came over so her mom could go on a date with her husband! :) We rented a movie and had popcorn and candy "like we were at the movies". Again, no cleaning occurred other than random scrubbing of the grout and some dog brushing. J & N brought me a "present" from the party...so funny!

This morning we got up and had breakfast and hung out a bit. I got a jump start on my eleventeen million loads of laundry and then before I knew it the kids wanted to watch a movie together. So, we did! N fell asleep so E and I went and hung out on my bed with WallE and then N woke up and we all watched another movie together. LOVE the family time!

I also watched Dirty Dancing. I LOVE THAT MOVIE! I haven't seen it since Johnny Castle passed away. I made me really sad for some reason. Maybe it was just that kind of day but I actually ended up crying. I still love the moving it was just bittersweet I guess. I now have a large mountain of clean laundry that is so not going to fold itself. Its funny, in my apartment I really didn't care. We never had enough room for everything so I figured it really didn't matter but now it seems to drive me crazy. Not enough today to get cracking on it but I will. Soon...I'm sure.

Terrific Tuesday!

2009-11-03T20:23:00.000-08:00

Skipped the gym to come home and hang out with my dad! Man I missed that guy! I know how lucky I am to have him and how happy I am that he and my mom get to travel but I got so used to seeing him all the time that a month seemed like a REALLY LONG TIME! Not to mention, I couldn't just call and ask him to help me. He is good at over the phone instructions but it just wasn't the same. We had McDonald's with the kids and caught up on the everyday. Laughed at all the silly things the boys needed to tell grandpa and then my mom and I watched the three of them fight over a tape measure. My dad wanting to explain to the boys how it worked and to be careful and them wanting to measure everything they could - the table, a fry, my phone, me. WallE was also happy to see them. :) Much to his dismay, WallE seems pretty attached to my dad.

I just watched Empire Records - who doesn't love that movie! Oh, sexy Rexy - HA! Now the kids are laying down with a dryer warmed blanket and I am trying to decide what to do next. Work should be first on the list or laundry or finishing the removal of all things Halloween but instead I think I will go snuggle in bed with WallE and start a book I have been meaning to read. The Good Wife and The Hills/City are all on tonight. Totally earth shattering, life changing TV viewing. Maybe it should be called Totally Shallow Tuesday.

Yet another weekend!

2009-11-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

Friday night after work the boys and I went to Target to get my sister a shower gift and my mom a birthday present. We came home and just hung out after that. I should have gotten a head start on my cleaning but didn't.

Saturday morning we got up and did a couple things and then headed off to Z's last game. I had only made it to one and the boys hadn't been to any so we did. I finally got a chance to talk to my parents and they are now on their way home...WOOHOO! :) The T's got some bad news about their mom and it was of course, Halloween! E had decided that pumpkin carving was off the list after cutting himself last year so I thought we were skipping it this year. At the last minute on Saturday he had a change of heart. So, we hit the store and came home to carve them up. WallE was in desperate need of a bath and since we were already getting dirty I decided to force the issue. He was NOT happy but smelled better. This year N got a cut so I finished making his face for him and then it was off for trick or treating. This was the first year I haven't done it with A and the fam in so long! I missed seeing the girlies in their costumes. Originally she and the kiddos had other plans so I made other plans and then her plans changed but I couldn't change mine (confusing!)...I was sad but I know we will pick it up again next year. (We are already on course for our next tradition - Black Friday Shopping! We signed up for online ads and everything.) The kids had fun and ate way too much candy. N's costume was really a hit and very scary! E's ripped early in the night...DARN IT!

We set our clocks back and went to bed a little later than usual. So imagine my surprise when my lovely sons woke up at 5:10 this morning...ARE YOU KIDDING? I need a nap. We cleaned house most of the day and then my nephew A came over and hung out with the boys while I went to my sisters shower. The shower was at his house and he didn't want to hang around for it so he and the boys had a testosterone afternoon at our house. Poor WallE is barfing again today. Three times so far. Once this morning - so gross! And twice while I was gone. :( I am so ready to rip out my carpet...if only I could afford it. Some how I am certain the boys don't want Santa to bring them hardwood floors for Christmas. Hopefully he is feeling better and we can get a good night sleep.

Almost made it!

2009-10-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

Man it has been a looonnnggg week! I knew it would be since I didn't get anything done on Sunday. I have a hard time focusing all week when my house is a mess and my laundry isn't done. I wouldn't give last weekend up for anything EVER! I love my BFF and so glad we got to celebrate her birthday. And we had F-U-N!

Tonight I had to take my grandma's dog to the groomer. She has a little fluffy dog that wasn't looking too fluffy. We took her to this great little place by my house. At first they weren't entirely nice but that was my fault. Traffic and crazies were working against me. We were totally late but they still took her. The dog is a little nervous should we say and she ended up peeing on me...GROSS! So I ran home and changed and then we went to dinner while we waited. This made for a very long day but it was totally worth it. I thought my grandma was going to cry when she saw the dog. They had shaved her and bathed her, clipped her little nails and then topped it all off with little bows in her hair. It really was adorable and my grandma just loved it! And I just love my grandma.

I felt a little like Trixie last night, I got to have my hair done. :) I swear, if I was a wealthy person I would pay someone to wash my hair every single day! Maybe even twice. Why does it not feel so good when I do it? I didn't look nearly as adorable when I was done but I got my fuzzies trimmed off and changed up the bangs a little - living life on the edge! Actually, I don't believe my hair has been this long (for this long) ever. I really like it....it is versatile. Up or down. Looks decent in a ponytail - this is good because it spends a lot of time like that during the week. Gym, cleaning, sleeping and normally at some point during the day up it goes. Or I can have flowing locks should I decide. I actually found a color I like too. I did the blonde thing for way too many years. Then reddish and various shades of brown. My hair is actually blondish naturally but I enjoy this very dark shade of brown. It does nothing for my ever growing collection of grey hairs but every few weeks I put them under cover for a little while.

Tomorrow is Friday. S is coming over in the morning so we can take her to school and her mom can go gallivanting around with her work husband. HA! Tomorrow is also crazy hair day at school so we have a variety of color spray and some plastic spiders. I can hardly wait. I hope S lets me do something extra crazy with hers. It is so going to be a picture day!

We have a busy weekend ahead of us - Trick or treating is #1 on the list. Saturday morning we are going to go watch Z cheer and then run out to finish getting my sister a shower present. Sunday is the shower and lots and lots of cleaning and laundry at the W house. It is a must for us. I am really looking forward to an extra hour but I so hate how early it gets dark with this change. Time change is extra hard on the little people...they so don't get it. This year they can both tell time so it should be interesting to see if that helps at all.

So I know that I complain about work A LOT! And mostly it is justified but today my boss did something really nice. The boys are having a school fundraiser and I don't like to push that stuff at work so I just set it on my desk in case anyone was interested. My office gets a lot of foot traffic. I am sure it mostly has to do with my knowledge and sparkling personality and less to do with the giant container of M&M's I regularly have on my desk - right. D ordered something from each of the kids because she loves me and remembers what it is like to hawk your fundraiser like a common street walker. (Kids can no longer walk the streets with door to door sales!) But D2 surprised me. He walked in to ask me something and ended up ordered 3 things from both the kids. Seriously, who needs six different kinds of cookie dough. I just thought it was very nice of him. He then stayed to leave me a bunch of work but that was going to happen anyways. :) AND, he agreed to our "heavily suggested" Christmas lunch restaurant. GOOD JOB D - you should be in sales!

Punks!

2009-10-28T09:32:00.001-07:00

When J and I die from our over active imaginations my children (along with S) will go and live with J's N. Not my parents, my sisters, A or even their own father. Nope, they decided they would go and live with N. As J pointed out moments ago, without any sadness at having lost the best mother in the entire world - ungrateful bunch of heathens! At least S doesn't have to move...just share her room.

Maybe J and I will go away on a trip and see how much they like it! Ironically, N didn't say no either. We told him he could hire a nanny with the lawsuit $$$!

Is it Friday yet? :)

Happily changed that channel

2009-10-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder if having an extraordinary memory is a bad thing? Randomly in the car on the way to work today N (not baby N – co-worker and friend N) and I were having an odd conversation when it hit me. It was one year ago today that my path to happily ever after changed again…for the better. It certainly didn’t feel like that at the time. It felt devastating, heart breaking. It was all of those things and now it is none of those things. It is amazing what we choose not to see, what we allow ourselves to overlook when it is something we believe we want. It was not wonderful and good, it was not love and honesty. It was lying, empty promises and in the end cheating and more lying. It was lashing out with negative things because it was the easy way out regardless of how it made me feel. It was leaving me to deal with the fall out for everyone. I got to be the bearer of bad news. Um....what is that saying - missed that train wreck by the skin of my teeth? WOW, and the end of all that made me sad why again? I KNOW that isn’t how it is supposed to be. I see that with J & N, D & T, A & N (ok, so they are both girls so they totally don’t count since of course they are both smart!), G & A. When it is right it is great and I love that and all of these married folks above! :) No, we were not married, not even close. But promises involving little people are pretty high in my book! I have even read A’s SIL’s blog and it isn’t all sunshine and roses for her either but they made a promise and the are sticking to it…THAT is what promises are right? I guess everything does happen for a reason. I am a planner and my plan never seems to work out...good thing someone else's plan appears to be much, much better.

I no longer have to pretend to be less than I am to make someone else feel better. I don’t have to compromise what I believe is right and wrong. This last year has brought so many things. A renewed interest in me! More time for my babies, friends, family. Traveling for business and pleasure (Las Vegas twice, LA a couple of times, Phoenix, Scottsdale), more concerts in one summer than in the last five years (Nickleback, Coldplay, No Doubt and Jonas Bros!), better relationships with the peeps new and old, back to the gym, back to church, back to reading like a fiend, bought a house, heading a new division at work, became a handyman, became a landscaper, became a killer of monster spiders, brought home our new dog baby, tried and quit yoga. No longer feeling like I need someone else to make things complete…I am HAPPY! Not happy all day everyday, not always ready with a clean house, clean desk, laundry done, seven course meal on the table, everyone bathed and dressed to the nines, having all the answers. NOPE, but happy with me, happy with my life, happy with what it all looks like this 32nd year of me. Happy for the boys, happy that I don’t have to share the remote, the radio, my side of the bed (ok, this last one isn’t true. WallE ends up on my side of the bed more often than not). I am happy that I choose E and N’s hearts over my own. I am their protector; I may not get to protect them from all the bad but as a mom even one less thing to worry about is a victory. They will no longer face the uncertainty of someone else walking out of their lives or learning from the wrong example. They will learn from grandpa and papa and uncles and friends husbands. They will learn from me. One day when they are happily off to college (or limo owning school for N) I will run amok with my wild and crazy ways. For now those wild and crazy ways can have little outbursts every other Friday night. Oh yes, they have been wild – skipping out on work early with D, wild $3 margarita nights at Chevy’s, silly shopping and dinners with A & N. :) THE BEST! Ok, so last weekend the wild and crazies up’d the stakes a little at A’s party…

The enjoyment of what the next year will hold!

Happy Birthday Friend!

2009-10-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

So my BFF turned 30 this Saturday and N and I spent two months planning her big surprise party. Warned people to be busy that night if she asked, made sure the kids were taken care of, order the cake and all that jazz. Guess what? She found us out! It wasn't her fault and all was good. So we decided to surprise the guests instead. No one knew but N and I and a couple other people. The "couple other" people did not know she told us she was in the know. SO....we made her hide in the bedroom with the dog while everyone was arriving and then while they all stood at the front door in the dark waiting for her to come in she surprised them from the back and said something along the lines of "what are you all waiting for?". It was awesome! Then the real fun began! It was a costume party and everyone looked great! Drinks were had by all, food and cake too! We had lots of great conversations. J, N and I personally offended one of the birthday girls co-workers and his girlfriend. Accidentally, of course! And somewhat hilarious...YIKES! :) A loved her party and her gifts. We had a big sleep over with a few of those not ready to drive.

I FINALLY got to meet N's BFF M! She was awesome and one of the ones that joined the after party party and ended up spending the night. Rumor has it pics are all over Facebook but I'm no longer a member so I wouldn't know about those things. :) I was shown some "interesting" (incriminating) ones that will remain in a personal collection only! Unfortunately, A doesn't find my terrible, uncoordinated, drunken dance moves to be off limits so I guess those are available for viewing. Yes, I am having a blast in them and Yes, I am that bad of a dancer. I do believe me and all my cowgirl glory were seriously busting a move to some NKOTB. And who can blame me! :) A and N both said it was a favorite pic...me not so much! No such ridiculous pictures will appear on this blog thank you very much! HA!

Sunday was a looonnnnggg day! I was not ill, just sleepy. Some party goers were ill. Sorry peeps! I promised the kids we would have a second party for her and instead she ended up cooking dinner and inviting us over. I felt silly about all of that. I brought some leftover party supplies and cupcakes and the kids had fun. We got to hear all the fun Nana and Papa had at Bridgeschool this year. And some how today was Monday already!

Date Night

2009-10-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it is only 8:30 in the morning and I am already late but I had to stop and memorialize last night. I should have done it last night but I was so tired. D and I skipped out together from work yesterday for a Dr. appointment. No, we didn't really lie, D2 knew exactly where we were going. So we went to see a movie yesterday and OMG! Law Abiding Citizen is interesting. The last movie I saw Dr. Butler in was The Ugly Truth...funny and cute. This movie was none of those things! I should have known when the previews for upcoming movies started to give me the creeps. I will not ruin it for anyone but I will tell you that at one point in the movie something happened that was very unexpected and surprising and I then unexpectedly and surprisingly grabbed D's arm and very loudly exclaimed OH, FUCK! It was not my greatest moment but seriously it was a completely uncontrollable reaction to a scene in the movie. YIKES! Overall, really good movie. After we went out for drinks and dinner. That part was fun too and then home to snuggle with my man. Seriously, I only seem to date my straight, female co-worker and I sleep with my dog! HA, I am so ok with both of those things. D's a good date. :)

Ok, so I have a million things to do today before the big shindig and I am LATE!

TGIF(ish)

2009-10-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is FRIDAY! WOOHOO! I actually have no idea what we did Monday after work? Tuesday J and I went to the gym. The kids were singing a Taylor Swift song from S's IPOD in the car and I secretly recorded them...it was adorable! Yesterday D and I went and had a couple drinks after work to "discuss" some of our office issues before I picked up the boys at church (I know, even typing that it sounds terrible!). Today D and I went on a lunch time adventure and then changed our minds. After work the boys and I stopped off at A's house to pick something up and see how N was feeling. We got plans this weekend ladies...let's get it together! This sickness thing is for the birds. Nana came over for a bit and we chatted. Then the headed off to run errands. I finished up my costume shopping and ran into S - I haven't seen her in a long time (much to my hairs dismay!), then we hit Target and Bel Air to order a cake. I picked up some extra things at Target (the likes of which I can not blog about until after Saturday!). I swear that store is like a drug for me! I bet it cost me as much as a good habit would too. Tomorrow night D and I are going to dinner and a movie after work. Saturday I have some work to take care of most of the day and then a costume party that evening...very exciting!

WallE has been acting silly lately. That dog is obsessed with dirty socks. I have two boys so we are never in short supply of those. He has been "talking" lately too. He doesn't bark as much has he tries to talk. It is strange and hilarious at the same time. I love that silly dog. If only he would work on some food manners! Our house is a mess and lots of laundry considering I didn't do any last weekend. I have been on a reading binge lately and glad no one is around to stop me. I also can't seem to drag myself out of bed this week. It is killing me. I think my body still recalls the old day light savings time and does not recognize this extension! I really miss my parents but am glad they are having such a good time gallivanting around the state. I am sleepy but I need to get some laundry done for school tomorrow and I am almost done with this book I am reading. A book is such a great escape. I love to read in bed and the bath. I saw the nook today and would LOVE it but $250 so isn't in the budget these days. Christmas is right around the corner! Our first Christmas in our new house!

Ironically, the house loser (I mean my ex-husband) and I sold during our divorce just went on the market. They destroyed my house! Yes, I know it isn't my house anymore and I know that selling it and moving on was the right thing for us to do, but it was my all time favorite house. We picked out all the colors and spent a fortune on the backyard. This house was not cheap and the people who bought it from us paid some serious $$$. (I am so not bragging - I made a whopping $800 on the sale that I then paid my lawyer - FUN!) How could they just let it go? This was a brand new house and now it is listed as a bank owned fixer upper with "good bones". Meaning lots of square feet and a foundation but everything else is thrashed. I love our current house and it is a great fit for me and my three boys. I wouldn't want to go back when I have spent so much time moving forward but it still made me sad to see a wonderful house rot. I am grateful that I didn't let us sit in it and rot too.

MONDAY!

2009-10-19T15:56:00.000-07:00

I swear the universe has something against me having a good Monday. I always start out optimistic and then it comes crashing down. GRRR!

First off, my Sunday was spectacular. S stayed for a breakfast of bacon and waffle pancakes before her mom picked her up. We were going to hit the pumpkin patch with A and the fam but little H got sick so we didn't go. I had an agenda of what I was going to tackle - it was long. Instead I read a book, watched TV, took a bath, played card games with the boys, played with the dog, cooked, made brownies, watched the boys play Wii and never, not once considered getting dressed. We pj'd it all day long. It was AWESOME! No laundry, yardwork, dishes, dusting, car washing/cleaning/vacuuming...nothing! A glorious time was had by all. My lack of exertion all day made staying asleep a little difficult. Plus I had a terrible dream about my baby Sammie. I haven't seen him in forever and I miss him mucho. I dreamed that he had passed and I didn't get to say goodbye. The saddest part about that dream is it will probably be accurate at some point in time. I hope he lives to be 20 years old (140 in dog years) but I still won't get to tell him good bye. :(

I rolled out of bed tired but figured some Starbucks would take care of that. It was raining! I love it when I am home...not so much on a Monday! The kids had gotten their very blonde heads spray painted on Saturday and that stuff was so hard to wash out this morning...it took forever! But still, I was ready to hit Starbucks and get to work. Plus D and I go out to lunch on Monday's so that was something to look forward too. Well, I haven't gotten anything done and a situation at work made me MAD! Not just frustrated but actual anger. It (and I) was unpleasant. I did get a phone call that I adored a few minutes ago and it totally made me laugh but that has been the highlight let me tell you.

I just want to pick up my babies and go home and have an instant replay of yesterday. That so isn't going to happen. All the things I didn't do yesterday will be waiting for me along with a new dinner to make, homework to complete and work to catch up on. Perhaps a glass of wine after the kids go to bed?

Tomorrow will be better! PLEASE.....I am begging! Something down right fantastic should happen to me tomorrow. Ok, I will settle for no disasters and a good workout at the gym.

(Well this was a total whine-o-rific post!) WOW! I need to get a grip. :)

My Star Child

2009-10-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

E's performance was adorable! It was a pretty warm day today and he had to be outside in jeans and a long sleeved flannel shirt for a good hour waiting to perform. S had an adorable prairie dress. They sang their songs and then we walked around and checked out some of the stuff. The kids did an obstacle course a million times. I loved watching the kiddos but I also loved getting to hang out with friends at the same time! J and S carpooled with us over to the community center and D came and brought Little T and baby L. I miss her and was so glad to get to hang out. :) Yeah friends, kids and sunshine!

After the performance J and I took the kids to lunch with some kids eat free coupons we got. We ate and ate some more. My children were dorks (normal behavior!) and we had a good time (no one was kicked out and I don't even remember any disapproving looks). We were eating at an odd time of day - in between lunch and dinner. We ran by my grandma's to pick up some pomegranates for J and the fam. My children then invited themselves over to her house and she obliged them. She even said I could come home and nap. Well, that didn't happen but that's ok. So I went back over and hung out at her house for a little while where my child made several inappropriate remarks, one of which I rightfully lost my mind over! I was appalled at his behavior...it was terrible. He cried and apologized and J said it was ok but I felt awful. We have moved on and she didn't kick us out so I guess it is ok. She even let S come over for a sleep over.

I am tired! I spent the first two and a half hours this morning chopping up trees and fighting pomegranates to the ground. I almost fell of the ladder a few times...that was fun! Next thing I knew it was 10:30 and we had to rush home to get ready for the performance. B said he would come back another day to help me finish it. PLUS, I broke my lopping sheers on a stupid branch! Ok, so it wasn't a branch it was more like a trunk but whatever...I beat the tree but it beat my sheers. B said he things he can fix them so we will see. They weren't top of the line or anything so I will live. Grandma is somewhat appeased for the time being and we have pomegranates coming out of our ears and no, I don't can or make jam!

No idea what we will do tomorrow. Sleep maybe? Laundry, dusting, baking and maybe some yard work in between catching the games. I also need to get some semblance of a Halloween costume together? Hmmmm.....

TGIF!

2009-10-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

What a crazy/boring week! Tuesday's weather left something to be desired. The power at the kids school went off early in the day and they were unable to make lunch so everyone was sent home. I had two wonderful friends call and offer to get my monsters while they were picking up their own but the boys after school care provider was already on her way. Too bad, the friends would have been free! :) It was AWESOME to have them think of the boys...love them! Our power at work went out around 3:30 and ended up crashing one of our servers. My 35 minute commute turned into an hour and 15 minutes of hell. People, it is rain and wind...stop freaking out and drive. Being stupid does not make the lights suddenly work! Fortunately, we had power at home so we turned on our fireplace for the first time and just stayed home. Our cable/phone/internet went out a couple of hours later so we watched a movie and called it a night. The only problem? My TiVo couldn't record my show so I still have no idea what happened on The Good Wife. I guess I will try watching it on Hulu...if they have it.

Wednesday and Thursday were gym days since Tuesday was out. I haven't done two in a row in a long time and forgot to really eat much that day so I wasn't feeling great at the end of day two. The kids started back up at Awana on Wednesday nights so I went to the gym without spending $$ on daycare and while I love that my children are going to learn valuable life lessons I am also SOOO excited at the thought of having a couple hours during the week. It's like Christmas came early. :)

Today was going to be a get things done day and then my boss decided to come in and work. We ended up chatting the morning away, going to lunch and working on a project that we needed to get done but that wasn't on my agenda for the day. Also, random question day! After work I picked up my babies and we ran some errands before coming home to hang out.

Tomorrow we help grandma clear her pomegranate tree in the morning. I get to be the tree climber and then we are off to E's performance at a community jubilee. He is very excited! D is also going to come and I haven't seen her and the fam in a couple of weeks so I am excited. Other than that we just plan to hang around and get somethings done. WallE needs a bath...seriously! Who knows what other fun and exciting things we might fall into.

HAPPY WEEKEND! (wow! that was even boring to read!)

Happy Saturday!

2009-10-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

I love weekends! Who doesn't? Probably those people who have to work? Our weekend has been great so far. I have by babies. :) PTD showed his big time loser skills yesterday and I ended up with the kids. I mean I know one night a week every other weekend is a tough schedule to keep and all so you can understand making other plans and demanding that I figure out our scheduled...that is so realistic. L-O-S-E-R! Not to mention the glaring fact that you haven't spent time with your children.

After work I went and had some drinks with the girls and then off to get the boys (later than I said I would!) so we could go to a birthday party. The party was fun and we were exhausted by the time we got home. The kids were excited to be home but still crashed out within 20 minutes of being home - on the couch, fully dressed and without brushing teeth...not to mention it was only 8:45. So I took of shoes covered babies and then went and snuggled with my man (not the imaginary one, the one with four legs).

Today no one is sick in our house! I have my meds and the kids feel good - PLEASE make it last! We have a million things to do today and have all day to do them...together!

I love drugs!

2009-10-08T19:57:00.000-07:00

The prescription variety. I have been sick, so sick!

Our Friday night was pretty low key with a birthday party for my niece and a quick trip to the store for Halloween decorations (that we still haven't put up). My niece is officially 16 today and now a licensed driver. Look out world. Her family party was Friday night and we all had a really good time.

Saturday was the kids carnival at school and I had volunteered to work from 10 - 11 and that turned into asking to be relieved at 12:15 since we had plans with A and fam later that afternoon. Things didn't go as planned since little A got sick and didn't want to go get ice cream so N and I took the rest of the kids and then got to pick up the cutest small dog that they were babysitting for the evening. I planned on cleaning and decorating when we got home around 3 but I was really tired and we decided to lay down and watch a movie instead. We all fell asleep! The rest of the day was shot so we just lounged around and went to be early.

N woke with a fever so we had to miss an event we were headed to Sunday morning so we spent the day around the house. I mostly waited on him hand and foot and watched cartoons and movies while we waited for the cable guy to come that afternoon and check on the old Internet connection. Late that afternoon he felt better and S came over to play while her mom ran some errands. Seemed like a good day. I didn't clean much or decorate before the game came on and I certainly wasn't going to miss one of the few times I actually get to watch an entire Steeler game on TV so the three of us snuggled on the couch and watched the game. They WON! and all was good. UNTIL...I woke up in the middle of the night sick.

I normally go to work if I am just a little sick but not this time. I missed 3 days! Once I broke down and got some antibiotics I started to feel a little better until I got to work this morning and realized why I hate not coming to work. 322 unread emails in three days...UGH! I didn't burn half of them today as more just kept coming in. I may never dig out of this hole. This was really, really sick. The kind of sick that prevents you from telling your 6 year old to stop eating a bag of cookies for dinner or making your 8 year old from feeding your monster dog anything with tomatoes since you know the result will NOT be good (and it wasn't). I still can't believe I let him eat cookies for dinner, I signed a reading folder without making certain he read the book, I let them do nothing all night but watch TV. I can officially go down in the BMHOF (Bad Mom Hall of Fame!) I did learn a few things while I was home.

1. One version of Law and Order is ALWAYS on and likely on 12 times a day. I believe I love them all. I feel a real connection with all the Detectives....we are totally friends now!
2. We have a lot of lawyers just waiting to help us get money from a settlement, asbestos, FICA, car accidents, your cult, the moon, Tuesdays...you name it they can make us some $$$.
3. I can no longer watch any Court TV related shows. Seriously!
4. Sleep is my enemy! I now feel like I need a nap twice a day at least. That so isn't going to happen!
5. I haven't had Starbucks in over a week and it is just WRONG! I should have know that death was around the corner when I wouldn't even drive to get Starbucks!
6. N will forever remember eating cookies for dinner and E will always remember his poor mother falling over in front of him. The poor kid wanted to call 911. N really got the better end of this deal.

My parents leave for a month on Saturday and I am so happy for them but also not sure what I will do! :( I don't remember the last time I have gone that long without seeing them (yes I do, and it wasn't good. My mom got really sick and the were far away and didn't tell us until it was over!). My dad was over tonight helping me with a project. That guy knows everything about everything...it is awesome. Well, I have some work to get done...Ha, like anyone will notice with all the things I won't get done!

I am still very glad tomorrow is Friday. May we all stay well! Birthday party, possibly a movie, mountain o'laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, decorating, working, Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks! :)

Title goes here

2009-10-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

I got nothing tonight so a title seems useless but I felt like getting it all out. I am done with this week for several reasons and all happen to be work related. BLAH!

Monday was just that...Monday. They should move Dexter to Monday so I have a reason to rejoice.

Tuesday I was funky, blah, sissy-whiny baby (I believe I used just those words in an email to J). Later someone made an off-handed remark and it totally threw me off...kinda ruined my day. It was just unexpected so I didn't know what to say really so it bummed me out. Must have just been one of those days. But then family skate night was a mere couple of hours away so I snapped out of it and picked up the boys for some BK - I LOVE BK and never go. The last time was skate night last year. We skated like rock stars for a couple of hours. No broken bones or trips to the hospital so we had a great time. A's poor toe is funky again (seriously doctors...get a handle on this already would you?) so no skating for her. I got to spin around the floor lots of times with little A and my N. E and H could have cared less...those two are maniacs (adorable but nuts!) We all three got roped into working booths at the PTA carnival on Saturday - I can hardly wait! The Good Wife was on - second episode was as good as the first.

Wednesday the boys and I went in search of their Halloween costumes. They both got one and I got some things I need and then came home and watch The Hills and The City from the night before. Yep, I am so that big of a dork! I did read an article that the target demographic for those shows is 15-34 and I am still in that range so does that make it ok? Not so much? Ok, I read the news as soon as it is over.

Today was gym day and I sucked! I was pumped to go and then woke up with a raging headache. I was so used to living with headaches before glasses that I just naturally lived on a steady stream of Excedrin. I haven't had a real headache in weeks so I think I may have just been a sissy about it. My brain got confused - it thought we were done with those. I am still hoping that we are done with the migraines...UGH! After about 40 minutes of gym time I mentioned to J that I really wanted Panda Express...so did she! I love going to the gym with someone who isn't totally Type A about it. We have fun when we go...we gossip, listen to music, not hear our children fight and sweat our asses off (well not yet, mine is still extra large and I would rather sweat my bat wings, belly and back fat off first). It's fun! Some days I just ain't feeling it and today was one of those days. So we did a quick workout and then hit Panda across the street with the kiddos. I had a great time, even if my youngest child decided to be a MONSTER! I know most people would find this insane that I work out only to then go eat but I happen to think it was a great idea. As I explained to the girls at the gymcare, I am a bitchy skinny girl and I don't care to be hungry so I guess I have to live with what I got. I like going to the gym to make sure I don't become bigger than a house but skinny isn't for me. Starbucks, chocolate, wine, chips & salsa, margaritas, bread...ummmm did I miss anything? I guess I should go to the gym 5 days a week for 3 hours at a time....no such luck universe!

Tomorrow is Friday and D doesn't have to work - jerkface! :) My niece is having her sweet 16 party tomorrow...woohoo! At some point this weekend I have sworn to get my house in order. Good God, I should have started 12 days ago. A mention was made of having ice cream at a totally yummy place on Saturday. Ice cream should be added to the list above. I love you ice cream and didn't mean to forget you.

WAIT....the best part? I get to go see baby L! He was born last week and I haven't gotten to squishy him yet. I can hardly wait. I love me some baby love and I bet he is adorable! AND, he doesn't live in my house so I get to steal him and return him. I also haven't seen D since she went out on maternity leave so I am stoked for that too.

2009-09-29T13:00:00.001-07:00

And a good time was had by all! :)

Hmm....

2009-09-28T19:06:00.000-07:00

"Anger, jealousy and bitterness are the poisons I drink expecting someone else to die." - Author Unknown

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

2009-09-27T14:01:00.001-07:00

Why does Sunday always seem to get here so fast? This weekend has been nothing like I planned but yet so much fun! Friday night J came over to shop in my closet for a wedding she had the next day and A and fam came over for dinner and ended up staying the night. We all hung out and watched TV and ate. Watched the dancing baby video..ADORABLE!

Saturday I made breakfast and we hung out some more...more eating, more TV and some nail painting. Very little cleaning, very little working, no dog bath, LOTS of kids. :) S came over for the afternoon and hung out with us for a few hours so we had 5 kids total. My dad stopped by to fix my sprinkler only to learn I had not gone to Home Depot yet. He surveyed the damage that was my house and beat a hasty retreat. :) Not before telling me he tormented my ex-BIL...I love my dad and his "get away from my daughters mentality!". Laid back is never a word I have associated with my dad. Later that day we went out to Sting Rayz and watched the Blues Houndz perform. AWESOME fun had by all. E said on the way home that "Papa is the best singer EVER!". On the way home the boys and I made a quick stop at Big Spoon - who cares that it was after 9 and I was feeding my kids frozen yogurt! I did limit them to only four toppings.

Today we got up and ate and showered and hit Toys R Us so N could spend his birthday money...that took a LONG time but he and E had lots of fun. We ran a couple other errands and hit Starbucks on the way home. The Steelers are up by 10 at the moment, my house is a DISASTER of epic portions - I feel moments away from a Clean House intervention and my dog is a big ball of stink. We are going out to an early dinner with gang in a couple of hours so bathing him now is not in the agenda, cleaning and working just keep getting pushed aside. I am protesting both for no good reason! Especially since they have no other means of completion. It's no like procrastination will make someone else come along and do it. AND - tonight is DEXTER! I can't wait. Just a few short hours until the Season 4 premier. Later this week are my silly MTV reality shows and I LOVED The Good Wife - it has been added to the Tivo rotation (PLEASE don't cancel it!). I have last nights SNL premier to watch too. I hope it's good. I loved Casey Wilson and was sad to see her go and I am not a huge Megan Fox fan so I didn't stay up to watch it. Tuesday is family skate night for the boys school and J and I swore to get back on the gym bandwagon after falling (or intentionally jumping) off last week. When will the house get cleaned, the dog bathed or all my work done between that and all the TV watching? I have no idea! Oh well, I only have to wash jeans for next week since we get to wear them EVERYDAY next week in the office...WOOHOO! It is so the little things. :)

I love home!

2009-09-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

I hate business travel. Not really. I actually like the travel, its the being away from home that I don't really care for. I miss my babies and my bed. I will give it up for the hotel...that bed was AMAZING! And G picked this awesome restaurant for us to have dinner in. We normally have to eat at those places that charge you $$$ to pick between three things on the menu you don't really like. The wine is always good....especially at those places. I do love a good glass of wine but if given a choice between a restaurant that actually serves bones as an appetizer and good wine or some kick ass mexican in the hood with great margaritas....I will take the hood every dang day of the week! Last night the food was very good and normal and the wine was good too. I refrained from too much since I had to be up early to host our meeting and so that some how made me the DD. What? I had no kids and still had to be the DD...WTF? :) So not a big deal. We had a presentation at a hotel and after I am flying home and G is off to another event so he asks if I can take our projector back with me. I already have my suitcase and my "personal item" that is the size of a small country with my reading materials, purse, IPOD...but I said I thought I could figure it out. SO, after the meeting I go up to my room and try and fit this in my suitcase so I don't have to check my bags. (Our IT guy doesn't think it should be checked...damages and all.) HA! It was comical. In the end, I make it work. It requires some interesting configurations and shoes in places they don't really belong but hey it worked so off to the airport we go. What does the very nice TSA employee tell me? "Sorry Miss., we consider anything of this nature to be the same as a laptop. I am going to have to open it up." Good luck to you sir. Let me know what high heel is the one that takes out your eye as it goes flying out of my overstuffed bag! ALL of my bag was unpacked and I was left to try and cram it all back in while standing in the middle of the airport. That was certainly a highlight of my trip!

Today I got off the plan and got my babies. We went to dinner and then came home and did a puzzle together and then watched a new movie N got for his birthday. HEAVEN! I understand the human kids were good but A didn't have a great time with WallE. I don't have all the details but I am guessing it has something to do with his unwillingness to share his side of the bed? :) I am so grateful she and N were able to come over and watch all three of my babies for me. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Tomorrow is FRIDAY! I have enough work to keep me at my desk from now until the end of time but I am still glad for Friday. Maybe D and I will hang out tomorrow? Saturday I am taking N to spend his birthday loot at Toys R Us. I need to visit my new favorite store - my local hardware store. For a small town store it has a crazy amount of things. I need a new sprinkler head, weed-eater twine....OMG! I might expire from the excitement of it all. No matter, my babies will be here.

Can I finish a sentence? A thought? A.....anything?

2009-09-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend was all the crazy it promised to be with a little extra thrown in! Friday was final prep work for our Tuesday morning meeting - this consisted of eleventeen meetings/conference calls/side conference calls/training and some errand running. After work the boys and I ran some much needed errands and then home to make sure everyone got to bed early.

Saturday morning was our Team Maddie Grace walk. My niece was born with CHD and we do the heart walk every year. This year she wore the most adorable outfit EVER! After that we came home to get our house ready for N's party on Sunday. First, a closet catastrophe. The wooden rod broke and clothes were all over the floor. So I said some curse words and got out the wood glue and went to work on my home repair. (Yes, I totally consider that task worthy of the moniker of home repair!) Closet puzzle resolved and so I go out to hit the yard work before it gets much hotter. As earlier mentioned, my lawn mower HATES me. It was really mad at me on Saturday and decided to break. I gave up and went next door to pay the neighbor kid $10 to mow but he wasn't home. SOOO...I came back and reviewed the issue and was actually able to fix it with some more cursing, lots of anger and some new screws. Lawn mowed! Weed eater - out of string half way through...LOVELY! At this point my BIL rescues me by coming over just in time to watch the five alarm fire breakout entirely too close to my house. BIL and I decided we need to get a better look to determine if we should be more than just mildly concerned. We spend the next hour watching field after field and structure after structure burn to the ground. Lucky for me the wind was blowing the fire and embers away from my house. Not so lucky for those in the line of fire. After that it was back home to clean and run some errands.

Sunday started at 5:00 am...YES! UGH. N's party wasn't until 2 and yet I couldn't sleep so I got up and finished getting some stuff ready. The bouncy house came, the people came, the pizza and cake came and a good time was had by all. N is a great present person. He responds with such enthusiasm for everything, even the clothes. After the party we went to A's house for dinner. YUM - Nachos. :) Delicious.

Yesterday was a true Monday. I made it to work all day and then came home and CRASHED. I made the boys grilled cheese for dinner - for dinner? Seriously! We then stopped the ice cream man for what is likely the last time this summer. E is still getting over his bug so he fell asleep early so N and I watched the game (the only reason to ever love Monday) and did some I Spy books (love them!).

I had a big meeting today and when I got back I found out my grandma's sister passed away. :( My grandma is the oldest of 8 kids and now she is the only one still alive. She was sad and I had already canceled my concert plans due to my trip tomorrow (Hi Ladies - hope you are enjoying The Killers..sorry I missed i!) so the boys and I took her out to dinner and then to the store just to get her out of the house. She is an adorable grandma and we love her so much. UGH - I am still sad I missed the show tonight but I am glad A was able to use the ticket. I LOVE The Killers and they kept playing them on the radio today. I just felt so terrible about the thought of having the boys with a sitter two nights in a row...even if one was work related...it just didn't seem right and plus, I will miss them tomorrow while I am in LA. I know that A and N will take great care of all three of my boys. They are going to have a good fight on their hands with WallE - he is going to kick one of them off his side of the bed. :) I almost wish I could be here to see who wins. HA!

If I make it to this weekend it should be decidedly less insane and possibly even include a moment or two of peace...maybe, just maybe!

I should so be packing and/or working and/or cleaning right now. Think I will go play with the kids instead. Happy Not Monday!

Welcome to the middle of the week!

2009-09-16T20:18:00.000-07:00

I'm bored! Seriously!!!! I am overstimulated and bored...again! Work, homework, housework, yardwork, more workwork, workout, and on and on! Wow, I guess I should say I am boring instead of bored - YIKES! Maybe more entertaining things could be renamed to include work so I can find time to "work" them in - shoppingwork? sexwork? bookreadingwork? moviewatchingwork? Maybe if I submit them to Webster's it will happen - yeah, I'll get right on that!

This weekend is going to be nothing but crazy and I am unprepared. We have eleventeen things to do on Saturday - Heart walk, three birthday parties, two cheer games, two soccer games and getting the house/yard ready for N's party on Sunday and then having N's party on Sunday. I finally ordered his cake and bounce house and now I need to get decorations and decide what we should eat. Since it is late afternoon and well before dinner I am leaning towards no "meal" food and more snacks. You know, the cheaper route! :) He decided on a Dora party. How much do I love that he could care less what others think and isn't afraid to show is Dora love. It is awesome.

D and I decided to start bringing our lunch to save on time and money (mostly $$$) but it is so boring to sit on our lunchroom. Not to mention she is ditching me for three work days...come on! :) Where is the love? G introduced me to an agent today and mentioned we had lots in common. What may you ask? She is getting the big D! Seriously, am I the only person in the world to have gotten divorced? I know that isn't the case - half our company has but for some reason I was singled out as being in the know. I guess I am now the Divorced-Single Mother-UW Manager. Wonder if that will fit on my business card? :) So not my first choice....oh the suggestions. I do so love G and he does nothing with malice so all is forgiven.

On a less whiny note, on our way home from the gym J and I stopped at a video store that is going out of business. I got two seasons of Dexter on DVD. I LOVE that show and now I own it. It's always On Demand but still - this is better! See how easily impresses/distracted I am. Oh, is that something shiny? HA! So easily I forget all the fun we had this summer that wasn't work related. Good think I probably blogged about it and can quit my whining and go read about it all.

Happy Birthday Baby!

2009-09-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

My baby is 6! I can hardly believe it. I asked him, begged him to stay 5 and he said "why would I ever want to do that?" :) That kid is so funny. I can remember everything about the day he was born. I told him about it again today and he thought it was great that he was very blue when he came out. I did not find it at all funny! I remember my mom screaming about it and freaking out. The only reason I didn't jump off the table was my sister W was in the room too and she wasn't freaking out (she knew if she did I would have lost it!). The cord was wrapped tightly around baby N's neck and he couldn't breath. Once they got it taken care of he screamed like crazy and pinked right up.

I knew he would be my last. I loved being pregnant and having babies but D and I agreed two healthy boys was plenty. Little did I know we would not be raising our babies together. I know my "age" would allow me to have more but I am most certainly done. I love my boys like crazy and they are enough. BUT, it is going by way too fast. I spent too much time while they were growing up dealing with the "end" of relationships - wasting time on things that aren't worth it. No more of that! This last year has been such an awakening for me.

Today N wanted brownies for his class so I made them last night. Finished just in time to realize E still wasn't ok. Fever all day and just all around blah! We picked N up from school and came home and did some of his homework. Birthday boy picked dinner - homemade cheeseburgers, BBQ chips, root beer and more brownies. Poor E took a couple of bites and is now throwing up again. :( This is when I hate the guilt of being a single working mother. I want to be able to keep him home as long as he needs without wishing he could go to school because I NEED to go to work. I can do some from home but I really need to be in the office. It is a terrible thing to balance the needs of your children and the financial needs of having a job! I hate that he is sick and I hate needing him to get better just as much as I want him too. I am praying HARD that the rest of us do not get it. PLEASE! My parents are still sick so I hate to ask them to come sit with him and PDT is useless to even try. Not to mention E just wants me to sit next to him on the couch ALL of the time or he cries. I have watched a lot of Disney channel today.

I did get to go outside and play Moon Sand with N for a little while. That was his birthday gift today. He loved it. I think he had a great day and bearing any future disasters Sunday will be his little party at our house. Our first party in our new house. :)

My Poor Baby!

2009-09-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

E is sick! :( We had H at our house until around 1:00 this morning and all was great. I fell asleep around 2ish and E woke up barfing @ 5:30. I think it was mostly because of a stuffy yucky nose but still! Now he is laying on the couch with a headache. Nana called to come over for the second time and we had to cancel :( Tomorrow is N's birthday and picture day at school...I hope everyone is all better.

N is one of those kids who doesn't change much when he is sick. He does not understand the concept of being still or quiet so he runs around like nothing is out of the ordinary. My poor E is not so lucky (or I should say I'm not so lucky) he is a total man, I mean baby when it comes to being sick. He whines a lot, requires constant contact and personal maid service. His Sprite doesn't taste right, he needs a new pillow, N is "moving". It is going to be a looonnnnggg day at the W's house! No nap in sight.

N is driving his lego car over WallE's back at the moment. I don't know if WallE realizes he isn't getting a massage but is actually being turned into a race track! E is calling....